To purchase a small cabbage at the grocers?

[Pancakeflipper]

Went to our grocers today.
I love my grocers. I go twice a week. Usually with DS2.

Saw a small white cabbage. Join your hands together and make a circle - it's just a little bigger than that.

Added this cabbage to my other goods. Thought it would be good for my self catering long weekend away with my 2 children. Thinking salad / stew. Weather dependent.

The lovely shop assistant added weighed it and put it in my bag.

Then a man stood several people behind me said in a loud voice that small cabbages were reserved for old people who live alone and I had to buy a larger cabbage.

So is there a unwritten or written rule I have missed that states what size veg you can buy depending on your position within society?

And if so can you please link me the rules so I don't fuck up in the grocers again cos it was very embarrassing for us all.

oh. my italics things didn't work.

You should have pointed him towards the Brussel sprouts.

Tiny cabbages for the elderly.

Oh no! I have been selfishly buying only the veg that will get eaten, depriving the elderly of their miniature veg. What's more, I have been doing it for years .
The DCs foraged some teeny tiny apples locally yesterday, I should really send the DCs out to donate them to the elderly, as they might not be able to manage a standard apple.
BTW, I can supply fake "Think 71" IDs if required, the checks are less rigorous, as the elderly are more likely to forget to bring their ID. Greengrocers often check for age-appropriate items when selling small cabbages. Before you set out, make sure you are carrying:
Werthers Originals
Denture cream
100% Cotton pocket handkerchiefs
Safety pins and spare buttons (just in case)

All these can be used as alternative forms of ID for cabbage purchases.

I read on a shopping thread earlier that nectarines are a unnecessary luxury and that pears should be replaced by apples as they are cheaper. I think you had a lucky escape OP. it could have been a MN'er judging your fruit and veg choices

He could have made coleslaw with a ninja attack

I am actually, physically and literally rofl-ing at that...

Are kumquats for the elderly too? Is that why they exist?

Ha ... I think I must have met a close relation of that man once many years ago in Tesco. This old biddy queuing up behind me at the till snapped a couple of bananas off the bunch I was buying and when I remonstrated she said something along the lines of "I don't know what you're getting so upset about love, you've still got 7 or 8 bananas left there and I don't fancy walking all the way back to fruit & veg just to get a couple for me". I was so shocked I think I just gabbled "you are a very rude old woman" and then gave her evils and encouraged DD to do the same.

That has really made me laugh! The idea that he was offended by the size of your cabbage purchase. Silly man!!

Get some Guinea pigs then you can buy massive quantities of leafy green veg and give them the bits you don't want.

Don't forget 50p pieces and an individually wrapped slightly fluffy chocolate to press into the hands of small children, InMy

I just spent a week on holiday with my Aged Mother, and you wouldn't believe the fuss she made about the fact that every single bloody portion size available is just waaay too big for her. How it was such a treat not to be shopping just for her as it meant it was worth while buying a gammon joint or a nice crusty loaf of bread - 'because I have such a small appetite, so much gets wasted'. ALL. FECKING. WEEK!!!

What with that, and dsis (also along on this 'jolly holiday') taking every opportunity to show me how superior she is, so much more intelligent (does the Guardian crossword and watches Test Match special, unlike unsophisticated me - Neighbours and the sudoku) and patronising me at every turn - within the first 48 hours, I was completely homicidal, and dh was googling flights in case I couldn't stand it a moment longer and needed to be flown home!

Aaaaand, breathe...

Oh no! Cabbages come with rules!

What to do

I have just picked a whopping great beast of a cabbage from my garden, I hacked off the outside leaves and weighed it, it tipped the scales at 5lb 2oz. I'll have to donate it to the Channel Islands won't I?

ROFL @ this thread.

I once got criticised by the check out assistant in a supermarket for buying their French apples. She said I should have supported our country by buying English ones. I was buying produce which her shop was selling. I was so surprised I didn't really say anything.

Weather dependent.

^^This. This is my FAVOURITE part of the OP

I often buy small cabbages as not all of us like cabbage

How dare you buy small cabbages reserved for us oldies lol. What a stupid old man. I'm going to try Worra's suggestion of using one sprout - wonder how many meals I can stretch it to, 3 or 4 I reckon .

I used to work in a greengrocer, and we would cut up cabbages for old people who couldn't possibly manage a whole one.

So what are the rules for leeks vs. scallions? One seems like the miniature version of the other, but of course they taste completely different. As an under 71, can I get the scallions?

I know someone who was told off for buying the raspberries hidden behind the cauliflowers.

It's where our local shop hide the marked down, nearly out of date ones.

Appparantly you're only allowed them if you're poor, old, or have had the nod from the staff. Probably all 3 actually. I now rootle for cheap raspberries but haven't found any since been told the secret place.

What about curly kale???

Actually I need a shallot for tomorrow!

Will I have to buy a full sized onion?

In all seriousness I wish I could buy a single clove of garlic

Always feel I don't do the garlic justice and I end up chucking the remainder away.

I don't much like vegetables cabbage so I buy small ones suitable for me and DH. Why should I miss out on cabbage just because they're for the elderly?

This is age-related discrimination of the very worst kind, OP. I insist that you contact your local paper to complain and pose for a sad faced picture outside the establishment in question.

I've never been scolded in my greengrocers

It is, however, opposite my local tescos and once when they refused me cigarettes because I didn't have ID on me (I'm in my thirties) I bolted to the greengrocers where my greengrocer found me still quivering amongst the cauliflowers upset at the age discrimination. And lack of nicotine. So he indignantly stormed over to tescos to buy me cigarettes which I was pathetically grateful for.

What happens to the small cabbages rejected by old people who they don't like cabbage, but not bought by others because they are reserved for the elderly?
Is there some sort of small cabbage mountain somewhere? (probably in Norfolk)

Maybe you should shop at the end of the day OP, and if there is a small cabbage left that hasn't been claimed by a brassica chomping octogenarian, you may have it.