to sleep-deprive my toddler?

[pookamoo]

Since Christmas, DD2 has been staying up until 10pm or later. No amount of any of the usual bedtime things has made a difference. She won't settle for DH and I am a zombie.

She is 2 next month and I am experimenting this week with keeping her awake all day (i.e. forcing her to drop her afternoon nap). Every day = out like a light at 7.

She is having a horrible time of it though and I do feel bad. She's mopey and crying and clingy all afternoon, she even asked to go to sleep today! I've been letting her have quiet time with TV so she can just zone out before teatime.

Am I actually being unfair to her? The benefit is to me, because DH and I get our evenings back, even though it's hard going in the afternoons. Is it just a transitional phase? DD1 was nothing like this.

Plus, don't worry about the grumpiness too much. Most DCs are like this for a while when THEY choose to drop their nap. Lots of chilled out time in the day, and a VERY early bed time should sort it eventually.

Yep, we're co-sleepers. :) Still bfing too.

She's much less grumpy today, and seems to be having fun even without the nap...

Agree with the catch up naps. DD (2.3) usually naps 3 days a week (at nursery) for an hour or so, then up until 8/8.30. Days she's at home, usually no nap and in bed around 7.

At home she usually isn't tired until about 3-3.30, if she's horrid I pop her in the buggy and go for a short walk so she can have a 10 minute nap. She doesn't seem to sleep as heavily, so waaaaay less grumpy when woken up. If she naps on the settee at home and I wake her I can easily have 2 hours of tantrums!

It's a really difficult time I think, but I need my evenings so if she has to be a bit grumpy so be it.

YABU. They need sleep to grow and thrive. Especially when young.

Many 2 year olds resist sleep - we had to sit with ds if we wanted him to fall asleep before 8pm. I'm sure if we left him to it, he'd mess around until 10pm. However sleep is very important and I thought that the 30-45 mins sacrifice of my time was worth it so he got a decent sleep.

I'm not sure you've read the thread, creature. If it was 30-45 minutes, I would be happy to do it. We were co-sleeping, (or not sleeping) and she wasn't left to her own devices at all. She's now getting 7pm til 6am (with 2/3 wakeups inbetween) and waking up happy in the morning at the same time as she would do usually but grumpy after a 10pm "bedtime".

Today she had a much better afternoon, played happily, had one little grizzle and a bf during which she didn't drop off to sleep. Tonight she's gone down to sleep by 7.30.

I think she'll get extra naps every so often because we will inevitably need to go somewhere by car in the afternoon (like 3 hour drive to PIL tomorrow!). I think the "home" routine may just not include an afternoon nap. boocanary good idea alternate day naps.

Ok so I'm not very attachment-y at all, didn't bf and my 18mo sleeps like a log - 12 hours overnight and 2 in the day.

But still, I have to ask... have you considered tailing off with the co-sleeping? I know all children are different, but my DS slept so much better as soon as he went into his own room. He needs his own space to chill out and process the day. If it's been a hectic day, it can take him up to 1.5 hours to get to sleep - but that time is bouncing around, chatting to his toys and finally gurgling. I know I'm lucky, but I have always stuck to 'put them down and close the door' and it's paid off. So it's hard to read your situation without suggesting you give it a go. Is extended bf perhaps not helping? Obviously if you're both happy and want it to continue then fine, but not all need or want it beyond this age. It depends how much weight you give to the whole attachment stuff. She does need to learn to self settle and I'll be the bad guy who says co-sleeping isn't helping.

Sorry I did speed read the OP....!

pookamoo, it sounds like she's getting the hang of no naps now! My 3rd child is just like your DD2 - every since she was around 2 she simply couldn't have a nap or it would wreak havoc with her night time sleep and result in less sleep for her overall. It didn't matter whether it was 10 minutes, 30 minutes or 2 hours, chaos and lack of sleep ensued.

Just as you've found, a 30 minute nap could knock a good 2 hours off her bedtime sleep. It made no sense at all but there you go. I didn't feel cruel dropping the naps because I knew it resulted in longer and better sleep overall for her.

It was so different to my other 2 kids who seemed able to just sleep as they needed it; one was living proof of 'sleep begets sleep' and the other only napped as and when he needed extra sleep without it impacting on his normal night time sleep.

shreddies not a bad guy at all! In fact, we have put her into her own bed in the room she shares with her sister as of day 1 with no naps. So new routine all round but I figured it is good for her to know where her own bed is!

She wakes at some point in the night and wanders in to us so I've woken up each morning with her in with me although I have no recollection of how or when (which suits me as I am not a fan of waking up in the night!)

We just figure that one day she will sleep the whole night in her own bed.

Ling I am so glad you said that - there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it, does there? Hopefully this new rhythm will start to settle with her and it will be a case of "this is what we do".

I mean to say she's been in her own bed at bedtime since Monday when I started dropping the nap.