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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if this is slack parenting and, if so, ask for help...

43 replies

HickoryDickorySnooze · 14/08/2013 19:48

...making small changes

DS is 18 months and still has three bottles of milk a day. Full bottles of 260ml. So he has one first thing an hour before breakfast, one at 1pm before his lunchtime nap and one before bed at 7pm. We did try sippy cup but after three separate attempts (trying for a week or two, then leaving it for a few weeks as he didnt take to it and would drink next to no milk at all and wouldn't settle at night) we gave up. Perhaps I should have been more tenacious/consistent but I didn't want to push him before he was ready

He eats brilliantly too, another reason why I haven't felt the need to cut back on bottles sooner. He will have a big bowl of porridge with fruit for breakfast, sandwiches and veg for lunch and a hearty stew for dinner. Happily glugs water in his sippy. Snacks on cheese, fruit and bread.

His weight is normal - followed 9th centile from birth

DP thinks he'll tell us when he is ready to cut back milk, but I'm not so sure. He's having more, not less, as time goes on!

So is this very bad? What should I address first? Any great tips?

OP posts:

TickledOnion · 14/08/2013 19:54

It doesn't sound bad at all. If he's happy and gaining weight consistently I don't think it matters too much. Is your issue with the bottle or the quantity? DD1 took a bottle morning and night until she was about 3. As long as it's glugged in one go and not sipped all day long I don't think the fact that it's a bottle matters.
What happens if you put a bit less in the daytime bottle?

magimedi · 14/08/2013 19:55

I am so long away from an 18 month old (mine is in his 30's) that all I can say is that if he is happy, sleeping & eating well & not overweight I really wouldn't worry.

If you are anxious, maybe you could cut out the morning one & just give him his breakfast straight away?

(With a naice bottle of tea? [grin )

Feminine · 14/08/2013 19:55

Sounds perfect. :)

I wouldn't change anything.

As you explained, he eats very well doesn't he? if he was drinking instead, then you'd need to cut back.

Well that is my opinion anyway!

wigglesrock · 14/08/2013 19:56

My 2 year old still has milk from a bottle. She has one in the morning and one in the evening before teeth brushing and bed. She loves her bottle more than anything apart from Mr Tumble.

She will stop when she stops. She will not be going to work with them

I do know that bottles after 1 are discouraged, but this is one of these things that I find people I know in real life just don't bother so much about.

My dentist is fine with it - she takes her bottle quickly, has good dental hygiene etc.

CreatureRetorts · 14/08/2013 19:56

My 20 month old has a similar amount of milk - well feeds 3-4 times a day (bf) and eats a lot.

Not slack at all!

Sirzy · 14/08/2013 19:56

I would start by taking away the morning bottle but offering him milk in a sippy cup or similar. I would leave the nap and bedtime ones for now and then further down the line look at changing that.

MrsRogerSterling · 14/08/2013 19:57

I really wouldn't worry about him still using a bottle. Dd1 had milk in a bottle before bed until she was 2.5 and then she gave it up altogether as we had potty trained and didn't think a big drink before bed was a good idea!

Dd2 is 2 next week and still has milk in a bottle morning and bedtime.

I also wouldn't worry about the amount of milk he is drinking unless it starts to impact on his meals.

Original poster

HickoryDickorySnooze · 14/08/2013 19:57

Thanks - issue with both quantity and the bottle itself, seems a lot compared to my friends' children and guidelines

If I give him less he just screams MOOAAH! till I top up the bottle and he's satisfied! Having said that he sometimes will drop off for his lunchtime nap in buggy without bottle - if we are at home he always expects it

OP posts:

CreatureRetorts · 14/08/2013 19:58

Does he drink water? I'd be giving that in a sippy or open cup TBH.

mrsjay · 14/08/2013 19:59

well id cut out his lunchtime bottle first or reduce the milk he has at lunchtime and offer water as well but really it is no biggie for the baby to stll have bottles of milk at this age,

SuckAtRelationships · 14/08/2013 20:00

When he is ready (and you) cut out one bottle at a time leaving his night bottle as the last to go.

I did this with DS at 30 months or so.

mrsjay · 14/08/2013 20:00

I think if you want to cut it out you need to be tough and say no you have finished now,

TurnipIsTaken · 14/08/2013 20:00

The only other thing is about his teeth, sucking from a bottle long term can alter the shape of the jaw, palate etc. In Scotland you see a dentist from 6 months and they stress getting off bottles by 1yr, partly for this reason.

mrsjay · 14/08/2013 20:00

yip last bottle is always last to go

Original poster

HickoryDickorySnooze · 14/08/2013 20:05

Thanks for responses, very reassuring, I thought I was the only person still giving bottles (most people I know just went bf to sippy without bottles, but DS has been attached to his bottle from a few months old)

I do worry about the teeth thing a bit, and actually really like the tip to start by taking away morning bottle first (as this one doesn't really seem to be for comfort, unlike the other two- I think he'd maybe be ok with that for starters)

OP posts:

MrsOakenshield · 14/08/2013 20:06

don't think it's a problem at all, either quantity or bottle. DD was still having milk morning, after nap, and evening until she dropped her nap at 2.8, and a bit later when I noticed she was eating more breakfast when she didn't have morning milk. Still, at 3.8, has milk at night. This was in a sippy cup as she never took a bottle. But many children want their milk in a bottle, even when they have moved on to a cup for other drinks. It's a comfort thing, and I can't see the harm. If you spot him eating less, then cut down, but doesn't sound like that's an issue right now.

Figgygal · 14/08/2013 20:06

Sounds like a lot of milk personally but it doesnt sound like its doing any harm. my 19mo DS only has 120ml x 2 a day in morning and before bed and funnily enough until tonight he's never taken milk from anything other than a bottle. Usually of we try a cup of any type (and we've tried lots) we have epic meltdowns tonight I put it in a new sippycup with single hole in spout and he took it off side and drank it without a second thought. Hoping it's not a 1 off.

I would have liked him off the bottles earlier especially since his lower teeth have come in squint and I'll always wonder if it's because of the bottles.

mrsjay · 14/08/2013 20:08

oh well if he just uses his morning one for a drink then yes cut it out can you get a sippy cup with a teat on it ? or a smaller bottle

MrsOakenshield · 14/08/2013 20:08

If he drinks his milk as quickly as DD did, I can't imagine he's sucking on it long enough for it to affect his jaw. If he's left with the bottle in the cot or pram, I think that would be more of an issue.

mrsjay · 14/08/2013 20:09

and 260 ml is like a glass and a half isn't so not an awful lot of milk when you think about it

Original poster

HickoryDickorySnooze · 14/08/2013 20:11

he torpedoes his bottles!! Gone in 60 seconds...well ok more like 6 minutes but yes, very quickly!

OP posts:

grumpydwarf · 14/08/2013 20:11

My ds loved his bottle had 3 a day at the same times as yours up until 2.3 yrs. then one day he refused it and now won't touch them. He will only drink water or juice out a sippy cup or plastic tumbler.

I honestly never thought he would give them up he was so attached and then one day bam.

Don't worry let him do it in his own time.

Original poster

HickoryDickorySnooze · 14/08/2013 20:14

Grumpy, that gives me hope!!

OP posts:

wigglesrock · 14/08/2013 20:14

Mine is like a whippet with her bottle. As I said I asked my dentist about it - at the minute she has 2 bottles a day drained in about 5 mins, he said not to worry - it's not like she's mainlining raisins

Original poster

HickoryDickorySnooze · 14/08/2013 20:18

Although I guess if she literally was mainlining raisins the dentist wouldn't have any worries teeth-wise

SS might though!

OP posts:

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