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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if this is slack parenting and, if so, ask for help...

43 replies

HickoryDickorySnooze · 14/08/2013 19:48

...making small changes

DS is 18 months and still has three bottles of milk a day. Full bottles of 260ml. So he has one first thing an hour before breakfast, one at 1pm before his lunchtime nap and one before bed at 7pm. We did try sippy cup but after three separate attempts (trying for a week or two, then leaving it for a few weeks as he didnt take to it and would drink next to no milk at all and wouldn't settle at night) we gave up. Perhaps I should have been more tenacious/consistent but I didn't want to push him before he was ready

He eats brilliantly too, another reason why I haven't felt the need to cut back on bottles sooner. He will have a big bowl of porridge with fruit for breakfast, sandwiches and veg for lunch and a hearty stew for dinner. Happily glugs water in his sippy. Snacks on cheese, fruit and bread.

His weight is normal - followed 9th centile from birth

DP thinks he'll tell us when he is ready to cut back milk, but I'm not so sure. He's having more, not less, as time goes on!

So is this very bad? What should I address first? Any great tips?

OP posts:

racmun · 14/08/2013 20:20

My ds (3) has always loved his milk.

The first one I managed to drop was the day time then the morning he still has one at night time - in a bottle!

I did feel bad about it but as someone else says if it works for your child then go with it. They'll grow out of it when they are ready.

Interestingly I was on holiday recently in Italy and loads, nearly all of the children ds' age still had bottles and pretty much all Of them had dummies.

I'm sure we are made to feel bad for the sake of it sometimes.

BinksToEnlightenment · 14/08/2013 21:16

I thought this was going to be something really dreadful! I have a two and three quarter year old who still has milk from a bottle. And a dummy to get to sleep. He'll give them up when he's ready.

pointythings · 14/08/2013 21:28

I think if he drinks his bottles that fast it's hardly going to harm his palate permanently - I mean, we're talking 18 minutes a day, right? Don't see the problem with the quantity of milk either.

mumofweeboys · 14/08/2013 21:42

www.johnlewis.com/anywayup-cow-cup/p429400?kpid=231946390

This was the only sippy cup ds1 would have milk in when I was weaning off the bottle.

Qty wise ds1 now 4 happily drinks a pint of warm milk at breakfast time and at least half a pint with his meals

hamab · 14/08/2013 21:44

We were really worried about DD and her milk. She was still drinking from a sort of toddler type bottle aged 3. She just wouldn't take it from a cup. If we gave her a cup, even a sippy cup, no milk drunk and huge tantrum. We tried to ride out the tantrum at about 18 months - but it went on for days and didn't end.

So we let the milk bottle drinking carry on and felt really bad. But it actually did her no harm at all. Her teeth are fine (she's nearly 8 now). She finally decided herself just after age 3 that she didn't like milk any more - which made me happy we'd at least got 3 years of milk in.

She eats yoghurt now but won't drink milk even on cereal - which seems so odd when she was so mad on milk for a while.

There are so many rules of parenting that make you feel you're doing it wrong. But all dc are different. My only advice would be maybe try and cut out the lunchtime one and get to morning and night only for a start. But tbh that just sort of happens when they don't need a midday nap any more. Then go to maybe just night time - you could phase it in by giving cereal with warm milk for breakfast instead. Then hopefully it will phase out.

Maybe we are odd but we had no problems with rotten teeth. She used to fall asleep after the milk - so teeth cleaned before it. I feel annoyed I was so worried about it now. It's like a lot of things - they won't be drinking heaps of milk from a bottle when they're 10 will they - so why do we get so worried about hurrying them into these things.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 14/08/2013 21:49

When my DD1 was in reception one of her friends' mums used to give her DD a bottle of milk to drink at picking up time!

Violetroses · 14/08/2013 21:59

My DS3 is the same, so this is great to read. I have tried with every manner of alternative cups, but the milk gets left undrunk in them and he mithers unhappily.

I stopped giving him an afternoon post-nap bottle about three months ago because he's not 'supposed' to have bottles any more, and it still makes him unhappy. This thread makes me feel like giving it back to him!

TokenGirl1 · 14/08/2013 23:30

I used to worry about my dd1s milk intake at this age as all the guidelines said that she was having too much. However she is also on the ninth centile and now at 4 years old I look back and realised that I worried unnecessarily.

You dc will lead the way at this age. Your ds is not overweight and has a good food intake and so
obviously needs it to grow. My dd was the same and now only has milk every now and again so I know when she asks for it she definitely needs it and yes sometimes in a baby bottle still when she is looking for a little bit of comfort.

TokenGirl1 · 14/08/2013 23:35

Oh yes, I know you're supposed to drop the baby bottle at 6 months but I found that was completely unrealistic nhs advice.

My 3 and 4 year olds don't have bottles every day or even every week but if they ask for one they get it because they are obviously feeling like a little bit of comfort from their baby days. I doubt very much they'll be asking for a little at all in a few years time.

Original poster

HickoryDickorySnooze · 15/08/2013 08:21

Thanks everyone, thinking about it, yes maybe he does seem to need the milk. My family are all blessed with HUGE appetites and insane metabolisms (till we hit around 25 then it all goes to pot!) so maybe he's just one of us!

However, he actually had 450ml before bed last night, then another 200ml at 3am, then downed his bottle this morning! That seems a touch excessive and now wondering whether I should have him checked for diabetes? Or could it just be a growth spurt

OP posts:

Dackyduddles · 15/08/2013 08:26

Dd is 2.5. Ill give milk til I drop as I'd rather that than squash.

Dackyduddles · 15/08/2013 08:27

Stop worrying. You really seem to be looking for issues where none exist.

WandaDoff · 15/08/2013 08:28

The bottle fairy visited us, when DS1 was 4.

He got lego & she got the bottle. Everybody happy.

onlysettleforbutterflies · 15/08/2013 08:45

My DS 2.8 still has a bottle of soya milk when he wakes up in the morning and at bedtime, all other drinks are in open cups. He loves them soooo much and drains them in minutes, we've tried switching to allsorts of cups (I have a cupboard full now), but wouldn't take to anything other than his beloved bot bot, he is growing up so quickly and has to deal with all sorts of things, I'm not going to take his pleasure away from him, he will do it when he's ready although may rethink if he is still having them at 18. I think people can become a bit obsessed with wanting their child to grow up too quickly sometimes, they all seem to do it at some point in their own time.

teabagpleb · 15/08/2013 10:03

My ds was like this, loved his milk, and used a bottle until 2.6, then sippy cup until 3.6.
I found nursery very helpful at encouraging sippy cups, and then travelling out and about and 'forgetting' the bottle. It helped that the dentist saw him regularly and assured me his teeth were fine - take yours and ask.

Dd is now 18 months and won't drink more than a sip of cow milk!

neunundneunzigluftballons · 15/08/2013 10:29

My 20 month old has about the same except bf. I would say if there was anytime to consider stopping the bottle the midday one might be best unless it ties in with a nap. DS has cows milk from a cup with his lunch but bf throughout the rest of the day.

quesadilla · 15/08/2013 10:47

my DD is 2.5 and still drinks about that amount of milk a day.

ICBINEG · 15/08/2013 10:50

yup, that sounds like a growth spurt...

we have cycles of not eating carbs but lots of milk then massive carbs burn and little milk...

I think they take what they need...they certainly aremore in tune with their metabolisms than adult tend to be!

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