to dread the next dress fitting? re: dm

[OctopusPete8]

I am getting married soon, my dm is helping a lot can't fault her for that.
Although when women talk about that moment where there mums tear up and say lovely things about their daughter will not happen for me.
First time I tried on some dresses , there was some mild niceties , but spent most of the time tearing it to pieces and 'well you're on about loosing a bit more weight aren't you?'
And preceded to say more than once, how good a lot of these dresses would have looked on her when she was bride (s12 back then) and how a mermaid dress would have look great on her as she had the figure.
She's always been like this but those comments drew a few horrified/pitied looks from the fitters which begged the question.....is it just me?
Of course she's always been like this, but always been told I'm too defensive im just like *** and learnt not to challenge her what appears to me self absorbed/critical behaviour.
I am overweight, quite so I'm not questioning that. but still you surely want to make your DD feel nice on their wedding day?
The recent fitting she just as soon as she came in , it was tight on my stomach but I do plan to address that, otherwise it looked ok.
All she went on about was the stomach area, and "no chocolate,for you" and "get on that bike" really loudly in the shop.
I left very :/ and sort of wish she hadn't come, all she mentioned in the car on the way home was this.
And in general all she talks about or wants to talk about is weight.
Now....she's planning to take the day off for my next one ....I'm dreading to be honest.
AIBU to dread it?

Diamond I think it is because they just want us to remain humble in all our drop... dead... devastating... gorgeousness.

They then fondly remember how fantastic they looked in their youth and then compliment themselves to remind themselves they have not aged that badly...

But you, well have to be humbled, can't let daughter's head get too big...not attractive at all.

My Mum used to do this (nothing like as rude as yours though!) until one day she was telling a story about how her own DM used to upset her when they went shopping by being "brutally honest" and never ever saying she looked nice. I was listening her like this until she suddenly stopped and said, "Oh my God, I do that too don't I?"

Now she makes a superhuman effort.

Me: "What do you think of this DM?"

Epically long pause

Me: "Because I really like it..."

DM: "I....um...like it too then."

OP, there is absolutely no excuse for your mother to make you feel anything less than gorgeous in your wedding dress. Hope she behaves herself at your next fitting.

I could've written your post. Took my mother wedding dress shopping - she commented constantly about my weight (I am overweight). The worst part was at the final fitting. I arrived at the shop and she picked a row about the dress and my plans for storing it for the next 2 days. Apparently it wasn't good enough to hang it up.

When I appeared wearing the dress, veil, shoes, etc and in tears because I was so upset at what she had said to me earlier, she started on about how the alterations weren't right and how the dress hadn't been altered properly as I was so fat. Lady in the shop did her best to say nice things. After we left the shop with the dress, my mother then had another go at me for 'ruining the experience' for her.

I was gutted about it all and considered calling off the wedding. I didn't because I love my DH too much, but I did give the dress away within the month as I couldn't bare to look at it as I felt so shitty.

I guess what I'm saying is if she's like this now, she'll be worse later when you can't change the dress or do anything about it. If I were you, I'd take someone else with you to choose the dress and definitely not take her to later fittings. Tell her then that you want it to be a surprise for everyone - including her!

daftdame haha, You are right! Bless our mothers for being so considerate of us!

LOL

my mum aaallwways bangs on about how good looking she was in her youth, you'd think she was a model.

Shes gotten worse in recent years.