To think that Neon's Mum, Sally Roberts, definitely displayed Narcissistic tendencies?

[VulvaVoom]

This is for anyone who watched the documentary last night. Maybe it was edited to make her look bad but I felt really angry and sad about her behaviour and attitude.

She seemed more concerned with pursuing a court case that she knew she was never going to win instead of being with her sick son. An example of this is that she didn't see him the night before his brain surgery (even though she could have done) Surely it doesn't really matter what you believe, once the decision was made, she should have been there for him.

She also seemed to be enjoying the media attention a bit too much IMO and spoke to Neon in quite an odd way, when she wanted him to go into a bariatric chamber for some 'alternative' treatment, she asked him to 'do it for her'.

She believes that radiotherapy will affect his DNA and change him - well isn't that better than him dying ffs? The poor bloody kid.

the other blonde woman was Neon's aunt; I really thought she did fantastic when early on Sally was going through some things that sounded ridiculous and rather than say anything, she just nodded

Haven't been through this truly awful experience, but as expat says, not seeing your child the night before the op and Neon was so scared about it .....I just can't fathom not seeing my child in that situation.

Then again, I did think it was better that she did stay away, because she didn't seem to be a calming influence on Neon during this time. The editing may have portrayed her as such, but she basically seemed unable to cope with the situation.

Well, I can, hard, and that is seeing your child dead. I thought she'd get better as time went on, get used to it, realise the adults need to work together for the child. The father and aunt had way more patience with her than I would have. I realise she was, in her own way, dedicated to her son, but equally so is his father and she had no regard for him at all.

I didn't see the programme so can't comment on her personally but I wanted to add my view from the other side of the fence. I have a v serious medical condition and nearly died aged 16 because one of my parents couldn't face the idea of their child being operated on. Instead preferring to try every quack remedy known to man. I'm not anti alternative therapies, I have in fact taken my own DC for cranial osteopathy, but not for something life-threatening. I feel any alternative practitioner that claims to cure these conditions should be banned from practising. Alleviate symptoms - maybe. Cure - no. My parent made some crap choices but was preyed on at a vulnerable time.

Incidentally I have had gone on to have 7 major ops and signed the consent form myself on each one of them

I haven't seen the program so can't comment on that but did they update on Neon, is he doing OK?

A few years ago I would have felt much more strongly against her but Mnet really has opened my eyes to just how damaging the treatment is and although if there was a chance it would help my DC survive I would of course do it I find it much harder to judge.

Therefore I went in to last night's programme quite open minded and really hoped to be educated but unfortunately I agree with the OP. The refusing to see him before the op, saying that a massive reason she was against it was that she wouldn't have grandchildren (note not that he may never be a father), when he hugged her, she commented 'see he loves me so much' (not I love you so much), and of course the 'do it for me'.

I do however, feel that her desperation has led to some awful explotative bastards coming out of the woodwork.

The thing that was a bit scary was that after she had being trying to convince Neon to go into the hyperbaric chamber and he didn't want to go she bent down and hugged him. It was at exactly the point where most parents would have said 'I love you so much'.

But she didn't she said 'You love me so much'. It was really bizarre. And the point where she was discussing the fact that the radiotherapy might make Neon infertile. She didn't refer to the affect on Neon at all, that he might not be a father. All she referred to was the fact that she might not have grandchildren and how awful that would be for her.

Mnet really has opened my eyes to just how damaging the treatment is

Mmm, yes, that tried and tested scientific methodology of believing what you read on the interwebs.

Honestly, if anybody thinks that Mumsnet is a reliable source of medical information and bases their opinion on medical matters on what's said on here, then quite frankly they're an idiot.

It was reported in the Mirror last week that he is in remission. Which he wasn't when he was undergoing his mother's treatments, the cancer grew back a tremendous amount just in the 4 days she ran away with him.

I felt really sorry for Neon when tey were with their aunt, and Sally asked neon if he had ha coco pops for breakfast. When he said no and she asked what he had, he replied wetabix, and looked really happy about it and then she told him off saying he knew he wasn't allowed them sorry, but your child has a brain tumour as I don't think the fact he had weetabix for breakfast is that bloody important.

Also when Sally was telling Lucy she would have to buy a £200+ juicer if Neon was going round there. That annoyed me for some reason. Oh, and hen Sally went to try to persuade Neon to go in that chamber, and one of the first things she said to him was have you brushed your teeth today? ... I can see you haven't done them today etc. I felt so sad for him, just let him have 1 morning off ffs, his teeth aren't going to fall out from not brushing them once! Maybe, his appetite had returned and his dad saw it more inportat to give him breakfast or something.

It really wound me up, but I'm glad I watched it.

It upset me a lot. I was put through completely unnecessary surgery (and I really mean completely unnecessary) from the age of 2 to 18, because my mother is a selfish, self obsessed person who I now see is suffering from something along the lines of Munchausen's by proxy. It has never been about putting a frightened little girl through 30 + operations (most of which I have blocked out) but all about how 'wonderfully' she was coping. I can never forgive her but nor can I bring myself to tell her how I feel :( I watched this and just know I would do everything for my children if it meant life or death.

I also think neon's father and aunt deserve a bloody great medal for putting up with her nonsense so calmly.

I didn't see the programme, but I am sympathetic about her not wanting her son to have radiotherapy on his brain. The side affects are awful and he most likely won't end up being the child he could have been, intellectually.

But the alternative is death. It's just a grim situation for all concerned.

I don't recall saying that I believe everything I read on the internet or that I used it as a reliable source of information on medical matters. In fact I said that if my DCs were in the same position as Neon I would follow the doctor's advice.

However, the stories I have read on here from many regular posters, including Expat and MrsDeVere have opened my eyes to the effects of treatments. I don't think I'm alone in having thought when I was younger that if you had cancer you had the treatment and if it worked you got better (although not always forever) and if it didn't the cancer continued to progress and you tragicaly died. I did not realise that actually the treatment can be a contributory factor in people dying. In this I was extremely naive but I certainly wouldn't class myself as an idiot.

I have learned a lot from Mnet on lots of different subjects but not justby blindly beliving what people say but by listening and then researching on some factual information. Reading accounts on here of people who have been in the same situation as Sally and Ben has made me more empathetic to the fact that decisions made by parents in these situations aren't as cut and dry as those of us lucky enough to have not been in their situation may assume.

Well yes the treatment can have terrible side effects. It can leave a person very prone to infection which can be deadly. Yes, in an idea world we would have better treatments than chemo and radiotherapy (again, proton therapy is not a treatment for the type of cancer this child has). But we don't right now. We have what we have and yes, it's scary and awful, but as a parent and an adult you have to put all that aside and buck up for your kid.

YY, both the father and aunt deserved a metal! When she layed into the aunt about their wanting to 'wine and dine'. FFS, when your child has gone through hell like that and wants a fecking pizza from Domino's you get it for them! They need calories in huge quantities. Their taste buds are affected by the treatment. They often crave certain foods and want to eat and eat them.

You do it. They are in control, not you.