AIBU to think that you only return a call if you are left a message?

[BeautifulBlondePineapple]

Every time my folks arrive home the first thing my Dad does is dial 1471 and see who has called them last. Then they call the person back even if the person hasn't left a message.

Sometimes I call them to ask something that needs to be answered right away and there's no need for them to call back. For example, today when I had lost DS's shoes and thought my Mum might have seen them when she had been in my house this morning. I called her and no-one answered but there was no point leaving a message and I eventually found the shoes myself. Then when they returned home (just as I was trying to settle DS into bed) the phone rings and she leaves a message saying that she is returning my call. Surely there is no need to do this?

This happens about once a week and I've tried to tell them that if I haven't left a message then there is no need to call back. AIBU?

(BTW: I know I'm tetchy, but that's probably because I've been in sole charge of 5 kids all day...one of whom threw his shoes behind the telly!)

Maybe you need to get in the habit of leaving them a message telling them that they don't need to call you back?

That would really annoy me too.

Our phone tells you if you haven't answered a call and the number that rang, but I wouldn't ring if they haven't left a message. Bit weird.

Why does he do 1471 anyway?

pil do this...well kind of. They dial 1471, don't bother checking the message we have left, and ring us in a panic. Oh hello fil, why are you ringing at midnight? oh you dialled 1471 - did you check the message saying we were unwell and going to bed and we would ring in the morning.

btw, the way to cure this is to ring again and withold number the second time...then when they 1471 they get a witheld number.

My pil do this too.

YABU.

A call is a call. Not everyone leaves messages.

I think it's an older person thing perhaps.

If you don't leave a message it means no further communication necessary wanna.

Just dial 141 before you do their number and then they'll be none the wiser as to who has called if it was you.

Ah but then you get the frantic calls checking to see if it was you and if so, why are you withholding your number?

My dad does this, I think its sweet! He's just checking in to make sure I'm ok

Must be a different culture here in NI then. No one I know leaves messages.

Yes 141 is your friend

I often ring people for a chat or whatever but do not always leave a message.

Perhaps you should leave a message if it annoys you? YABU

Does your Dad know that it only stores the last number that rang on 1471 Pineapple ? Yours could have been the last call out of 20 others.

My friend gets arsey if she calls me (and I miss it) and I don't subsequently call back. But I assume if no message is left there's no urgency. Plus I'm often at the top of people's contacts lists alphabetically, so sometimes people ring by mistake.

Hmm. I never thought about leaving a message saying don't bother calling back. Might have to start doing that.

I think it's a bit strange. I would only use 1471 if I didn't get to the phone in time - not 6 hours later.

Don't think I could do the 141 thing. My dad would be climbing the walls wondering who was withholding their number!

My Mum (70) checks the answering machine as soon as she opens the front door, while still holding her handbag and wearing her coat.

Why only use 1471 if you didn't get to the phone in time?

I often use it to see if anyone phoned (and did not leave a message) whilst I was out

I don't often leave a message as I'm awful with answer phones and would rather hang up then ring them back later. So I'm usually quite grateful when the person I've rang rings back after doing 1471

I hate that too.

Dial 141 before you dial their number and they will never know it is you... Hee hee!

But why DrDance? If they didn't leave a message it doesn't matter surely?

Could you encourage them to buy an ansaphone? Then encourage them to listen to messages and if there's no message, no need to call anyone who may have tried and failed to contact them.

Before I got an ansaphone I sometimes rang 1471 if I was waiting for a call and wanted to check if the person had rung.

They have a proper answerphone. It has an incredibly long and slow message that you have to listen to before you are able to leave a message.

My Mum and Dad had a really long message until they changed to 1571 lady.

My granny-in-law does the opposite. She rings, but does not leave a message. Then we we get in touch she's all accusatory "I rung you on Saturday and nobody answered". No, we were out. If you'd left a message I'd have phoned back.