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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think you don't need to set an alarm for night time feeds?

59 replies

Babybunny88 · 13/08/2013 19:39

One of my friends was told by her hv to never let a young baby go over four hours without a feed, including during the night, so she wakes the baby to feed him. I know this is generally advised but AIBU to think setting an alarm for every fours hours at night isn't necessary? Don't get me wrong we all have different parenting styles and Im not judging anyone who does this, just genuinely interested in what other mums netters think. I never did this with my daughter and only got up to feed her during the night when she cried. I let her sleep and she let me know when she was hungry.

OP posts:

LiegeAndLief · 13/08/2013 19:41

We were advised by SCBU to do this with ds, who was premature (but was past his due date and over 7lb when we took him home). Sadly I never needed to, he woke far more frequently of his own accord!

SophieLeGiraffe · 13/08/2013 19:42

I did, for many months I had a three hourly alarm set. I don't think it was especially helpful to my mental health as I once slept through it and then woke up an hour later petrified I had broken the baby. MW advised it - I had a small sleepy baby who didn't wake to feed so he did need this.

cloutiedumpling · 13/08/2013 19:44

Has her baby had slow weight gain? I used to set an alarm for DS1 when he was tiny because he had difficulty putting weight on. At one point I was feeding him every two hours. Didn't do it for either of his siblings though.

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 13/08/2013 19:44

I was told the same by my HV as my dd was 5lb 12oz at birth. I chose to ignore the advice, mind you she is the youngest of 6 and i felt experienced enough to do things my way!

She thrived and is now a healthy 9 year old.

readysteady · 13/08/2013 19:44

Essential for a baby with jaundice too I believe

beepoff · 13/08/2013 19:45

I did this, but kind of wish I hadn't. Still, DS put on weight like a trooper and my supply was really plentiful so maybe it did make a difference...?

CircassianLeyla · 13/08/2013 19:45

I know someone who at the moment is doing this ... I think it seems unecessary but she is a first time mum who needs to find her own way so I have just nodded politely. I think a baby will let you know when hungry but each to their own.

gruber · 13/08/2013 19:45

Depends. My DS lost a lot of weight after birth once home so we were advised to feed regularly through the night when he was small, and yes we did set an alarm only because of trying to get him to feed enough.

CoffeeOne · 13/08/2013 19:46

I did this for the first 8 weeks. It was a very anxious time and I felt it helped me control the situation but I also felt it added to my anxiety. The day I stopped setting my alarm was the day he started sleeping through the night.

monstermunching70s · 13/08/2013 19:46

I was told exactly the same thing and totally ignored the advice with both of my children. As you say the baby will wake you when it wants feeding and as the health visitors were so pleased at the progress both of mine made then clearly I wasn't doing anything wrong and I don't think they came to any harm. I can understand if the baby is premature needing to be more mindful but otherwise I think nature takes care of itself.

LynetteScavo · 13/08/2013 19:46

I never did it with my DC, but they were all nearly two weeks over due, and more than let me know when they were hungry.

With a premature baby I can see it being a whole different matter. Or if you are bottle feeding, and want to feed exactly every four hours.

I remember the midwife getting quite flustered when she visited after I had DC1, and I said he last fed 5 hours ago when he was 10 days old. He'd feed every hour during the night and half the morning so I figured he wasn't about to die of lack of nutrition. Like hell was I going to wake him up for a feed, he was probably worn out from feeding so much.

So, no, I never set my alarm clock.

Original poster

Babybunny88 · 13/08/2013 19:47

Thanks for the replies. Her baby is perfectly healthy and really loves his feeds so gaining weight properly. Didn't realise so many people did it :)

OP posts:

countrymummy13 · 13/08/2013 19:49

Well this would depend entirely on the individual circumstances. Ie baby's age and weight.

My DS was born 12 weeks early. He came home 7 weeks later, still weighing only 4lb. He was so small if he got too hungry he wouldn't have the energy to wake, let alone cry. If I hadn't set my alarm to feed him every 3hrs then he would have ended up back in hospital.

organiccarrotcake · 13/08/2013 19:50

Some babies will need to be woken if they are in a position where they are not taking in enough milk during the non-night hours for whatever reason. This should be something that an individual mother and her health visitor, midwife or breastfeeding counsellor should be able to work through.

Healthy,term babies who are gaining weight well can be left to their own devices quite happily, and mums can confidently get some sleep and let their baby wake them as required.

Some mums hear "don't let your baby go more than X period of time between feeds" and assume this means overnight, too. It might mean that - but it might not - so if you're not sure, just clarify it with your midwife, health visitor or breastfeeding counsellor.

countrymummy13 · 13/08/2013 19:50

OP, how old is the baby?

hedgehogpickle · 13/08/2013 19:51

We did it for the 3 weeks it took DD to regain her birth weight & also because she was jaundiced at first. Then one more week just to be on the safe side. Then I gradually started setting the alarm for longer intervals once I was happy she was putting on weight ok & my supply had established.

I think they tell you to do it in the very early days as newborns will sometimes sleep through feeds and get dehydrated quickly. Also I think night feeds help to establish milk production if BF. Those sounded like good enough reasons to me. Having said that my mum and MIL were appalled at the thought of waking a sleeping baby, "would never have been done in their day!" :) Ho hum!

TheUnstoppableWindmill · 13/08/2013 19:51

I wasn't told this and wish I had been - 'feed on demand' wasall I was told - as my jaundiced baby slept too much in the first few days leading to weight loss, feeding problems and re-admittance to hospital. Once breastfeeding was really established (after the 3 week growth spurt, I think) I didn't need to do it any more, so I think it is usually just a short term thing- first few weeks- to be on the safe side.

MammaTJ · 13/08/2013 19:51

If the baby is underweight or not gaining weight it makes sense, otherwise it is some kind of unecessary torture!

Faithless12 · 13/08/2013 19:52

It depends, when DS was born I was told to not let him go longer than 5 hours even though he was a good weight. I didn't set an alarm because he didn't let me get longer than 3 hours. My DH however was a tiny baby and had to be fed every 4 hours.

daytoday · 13/08/2013 19:53

If your baby has jaundice then yes you absolutely do. I think that's jolly good advice.

Sirzy · 13/08/2013 19:53

I wish it had been something I needed to consider with DS, he was like a human alarm clock every 3 hours for the first 6 months

countrymummy13 · 13/08/2013 19:53

Getting weepy now thinking about how touch and go it all was when DS was so small.

lola88 · 13/08/2013 19:56

DS is a bloody alarm but I don't think i would unless there were weight or health issues

I'm very much of the opinion never wake a sleeping baby

PinkPepper · 13/08/2013 20:02

I had to, my baby lost weight otherwise

AnnaKissed · 13/08/2013 20:06

I did this, on midwife advice, for the first six weeks or so. My ds slept through the night the day he was born

In fact, I distinctly remember the midwife's words: "If you don't wake him up, he might never wake up". A significant factor in the anxiety I suffered in the first year.

He was 10 days late and over 8 pounds.

I still have no idea if I should have woken him or not, but I wasn't taking any chances.

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