Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To think you don't need to set an alarm for night time feeds?

59 replies

Babybunny88 · 13/08/2013 19:39

One of my friends was told by her hv to never let a young baby go over four hours without a feed, including during the night, so she wakes the baby to feed him. I know this is generally advised but AIBU to think setting an alarm for every fours hours at night isn't necessary? Don't get me wrong we all have different parenting styles and Im not judging anyone who does this, just genuinely interested in what other mums netters think. I never did this with my daughter and only got up to feed her during the night when she cried. I let her sleep and she let me know when she was hungry.

OP posts:

phlebas · 13/08/2013 20:06

mine were all so jaundiced (& anaemic due due ABO incompatibility & early & small) that they would sleep & sleep & sleep ... I woke them two hourly during the day & three hourly during the night until they were able to wake themselves when they were hungry. A small/early/sick baby is not very good at doing what they need to stay alive.

duchessandscruffy · 13/08/2013 20:09

I did this when ds was very small as he slept for quite a long time a few times and I was worried about my supply etc. however, as soon as he went onto formula at 3 weeks (breastfeeding was not exactly what I would call a resounding success) the alarm setting went straight out the window!

JADS · 13/08/2013 20:13

I did with ds. He was a sleepy, jaundiced scbu baby who at 6 weeks old weighed less than his birth weight. Waking a sleeping baby is awful but breast feeding overnight is really important to establish a good supply.Once he started to gain weight steadily I stopped. Ds is a brilliant sleeper.

badguider · 13/08/2013 20:16

I've just had my final ante-natal class with the MW and she said an underweight baby with feeding issues must be woken every 3-4 hours day and night to feed otherwise they'll just get weaker and weaker till they're too weak to feed and need a tube. She was talking specifically about the first 2-3 weeks and babies struggling to regain their birth weight for whatever reason (incl jaundice).
Maybe your friend just got into the habit and doesn't know if she can stop yet? Why not suggest she asks her MW or HV when it would be ok to start leaving him longer?

DoJo · 13/08/2013 20:31

I had to too - mine didn't wake himself up properly for a feed until he was a couple of weeks old, and needed to be tickled, have a light shone in his eyes and generally be poked and prodded to stay awake for a full feed for about the same length of time too. Then he suddenly cottoned on and when he was about 9 weeks he put on half a pound in two days so it obviously worked! It's not always small or ill babies - sometimes just those who aren't very good at waking/staying awake or those who have trouble feeding so need little and often.

LifeIsSoDifferent · 13/08/2013 20:33

I was advised the same by my mw but every 2 hours. My dd was early and tiny so they wanted me to feed her often

cloutiedumpling · 13/08/2013 20:38

It was the same for us Lifeissodifferent. DS1 was prem and tiny and didn't regain his birth weight for 6 weeks. Waking every two hours just about killed me.

WeAll · 13/08/2013 20:41

I set an alarm for mine but they were all about four /five pounds when I brought them home.

Babymamaroon · 13/08/2013 20:44

My daughter would have happily not woken to feed but was not putting on weight so I was told I had to wake her every 3 hours. Nothing to do with being precious! Far from it as I was bloody knackered and every now and then used to wait for her to wake me so I could recover. She wouldn't wake for 6 hours...

Smartiepants79 · 13/08/2013 20:44

I did this for some time.
Nothing to do with health of baby.
I liked to know sort of when I would be woken and how much more sleep I was going to get after it!
It made me feel in control.
Weird perhaps but it worked for me.

wonkylegs · 13/08/2013 20:46

Mine never slept that long (3hours was his limit in one go, until he was 7mth old) so I didn't have to think about it but every baby / parent is different. I did worry that I'd sleep through his crying though as I was so exhausted at times.
My nephew slept & fed well from the start, my niece was the complete opposite.

Amiee · 13/08/2013 20:46

My dd was small but put on weight appropriately for her size so even though I was told to wake her I didn't. She slept 12 hours a night from 8 weeks ish. She is still a great sleeper i dont regret it at all.

FacebookWanker · 13/08/2013 20:49

I didn't do this, but one night in the first few weeks she slept through the night and I was worried that I'd left her for too long without feeding...she decided not to SLTN until she was about 18 months so I didn't have that worry again.
..

Josie314 · 13/08/2013 20:57

My DD would have happily skipped all her feeds in the first 2-3 weeks. Because of this she lost a lot of weight. If I hadn't set an alarm she would have never eaten. That said, once she started waking on her own, the alarm was finished!

McRoo · 13/08/2013 21:03

I did this for the first few weeks. Even though DS was a nice 8lb when born he would only feed for about 5 minutes at a time before falling asleep. I was worried he wasn't getting enough & perhaps it was for the best. He only lost 4% of his birth weight, despite only having very short feeds (the midwife was concerned but clearly he was efficient) and I've never had any milk supply problems and he continues to put weight on like a trooper (12 weeks tomorrow). It definitely helped me feel more confident and know my baby was safe.

TaffyandTeenyTaffy · 13/08/2013 21:15

I did this - DS was v prem and has always had real issues gaining weight - at 3.5yrs he is still only just over 10kgs. He has also always been a really good sleeper. One night in the first couple of weeks at home I had set the alarm but knocked the phone on silent and we both slept for 9 hours....

Fakebook · 13/08/2013 21:19

I was told to do this with DS as he was born underweight. They kept me in hospital for 3 days and made me feed him with a bottle on top of my breast milk every 4 hours. Then when I got home, I scrapped it and fed him on demand (breast only) and he gained weight rapidly.

paperclipsarebetterthanstaples · 13/08/2013 21:26

I did this with DS but he was prem, tiny and didn't wake for feeds. He was in hospital for 3 weeks when he was a month old (after being home a week from nicu) and at one point he was tube fed hourly. I insisted on getting up to do every feed until i almost broke on the 4th night of it. Can't imagine you'd have to wake a 'normal' newborn though!?

sheeplikessleep · 13/08/2013 21:30

Similar to other posters. I had to do this for DS1, who was jaundiced and lost more than 10/ of his birthweight. I didn't need to with ds2.

Sokmonsta · 13/08/2013 21:48

I set an alarm when my twins were babies. This was partly so we woke up for them (ahead of being woken and then staggering blindly about) and so both babies fed at the same. I didn't do this for my elder 2 but for the twins it was vital for all our sanity. The babies responded very much better to consistency.

carabos · 13/08/2013 22:35

SiL had to be told to do this after she spent the first two weeks trying to get her DD1 into a routine which consisted of no feeds between 11pm and 6am, then no more often than four hourly during the day.

The baby ended up back in hospital with failure to thrive and when she came home SiL was instructed to wake her so that she fed no less than every four hours round the clock.

I have never heard of anyone else being told to wake a sleeping baby for a feed.

fabergeegg · 13/08/2013 22:47

We did three hourly until DD regained her birth weight and then did Gina so that DD would have her four hour stretch in the night when she was ready to. (I realise that is a contentious issue here but it worked for our baby).

maja00 · 13/08/2013 22:50

I did at first too as DS was jaundiced and wasn't waking himself for feeds.

Once he was 2 weeks-ish and had regained birthweight and was demanding feeds I just fed on demand though.

Some babies just don't demand enough feeds at first. A newborn sleeping all night is a worry.

cory · 13/08/2013 22:51

Depends on the child: if they are feeding badly they may sleep for too long because they are exhausted.

mikkii · 13/08/2013 23:04

DS never kept for more than three hours, still a poor sleeper now, just having turned 9.

DD1 lost 15% of her birth weight, despite weighing 8lb 11oz at birth so was instructed to wake her at least 4 hourly including at night.

DD2 was prem and only weighed 5lb 13oz at birth so was told to feed her 3 hourly.

With both DDs a few times I turned off the alarm without waking, but I figured that I needed the keep more than they needed feeding or I would have woken up.

Flip

1 2 3