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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBUs from parents of fictional children

629 replies

ProudAS · 13/08/2013 18:31

AIBU to be concerned about what DCs are up to? Since we moved to Yorkshire they've been hanging around the railway line most days and not made friends with the local children.

DS came home with a bag of coal which he said was "mined" and whilst he looked like he'd been down a coal mine I suspect it was stolen.

And then there's the station porter who seems to be getting very friendly with them - he's a nice man by all accounts but I can't help feeling suspicious.

OP posts:
arabesque · 18/08/2013 17:06

AIBU to be a bit worried about my eldest daughter. My DW died some years ago leaving me to raise our seven children alone. Anyhow DD1 has become besotted with the postboy. She's only fifteen (going on sixteen) and there's been rumours that this boy has Nazi sympathies. I've recently hired an ex nun to be governess to the children, thinking she'd put a bit of manners on them, but she's dafter than the lot of them put together. Always running up and down mountains singing, and dressing herself and the kids in matching curtains.
Oh, how do I solve a problem like this?

arabesque · 18/08/2013 17:10

Saggy I wouldn't buy her that pony. You'll find that one won't be enough and before you know it she'll want a second one and will be calling anyone who doesn't like horses 'feeble'. I think you should buy her a pet rabbit instead. I'm sure she'll be thrilled.

cory · 18/08/2013 18:01

I am very concerned that the lack of a male role model is affecting ds' adolescence. As an army wife I was of course prepared for dh being absent for fairly long periods, but this is ridiculous- I have it on reliable information that he was discharged 10 years (!) ago and he still hasn't made it home from his last area of deployment.

WIBU to consider the relationship at an end and choosing him a stepfather out of the young men who have been asking me for dates recently?

Ds is really getting out of hand: he keeps befriending the most unsuitable people. His latest acquisition is some kind of beggarman, stinks to high heavens and terribly rude to the servants. How do I know he won't run amok one day and start a bloodbath?

LondonMother · 18/08/2013 18:18

Penelope -Cory-, I'd concentrate on that web you've been weaving for the last ten years. Don't finish it just yet, even if you are fed up to the back teeth with it.

AIBU to consider suing the zoo because their lion ate our Albert? All he did was poke the lion with a stick. DH was vexed. I would expect extra because he was in his Sunday clothes.

cory · 18/08/2013 18:38

Myess, perhaps you are right, LondonMother. I have been working nights a lot lately, but the web doesn't really seem to be going anywhere.

Terribly sorry to hear about your Albert, what with his best Sunday clothes and all. You do realise btw that the authorities are going to require some proof of identity- some item of clothing for instance that was left on the scene of the crime? As for your own personal healing process- have you considered maybe having more children? I believe seaside attraction are struggling financially in the current economic climate and any contributions would be appreciated

WafflyVersatile · 18/08/2013 22:37

My DC keep coming home freezing cold, soaking wet, covered in long grass and mud and pursued by a bear. AIBU to ban them from going in caves?

AlbertHerbertHawkins · 18/08/2013 22:40

AIBU to consider moving into a shoe. I've got so many children I don't know what to do.

Sokmonsta · 18/08/2013 22:53

Aibu to let the children continue to go to their hideaway? They have great adventures when they are there and the parrot enjoys the freedom of not being caged. But there's a group of men who hang around the area too. The dc say they're always trying to steal the kids things. I mean, what does a grown man want with a basketball or a skateboard? It's hardly the greatest treasure.

movingonandup · 18/08/2013 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 18/08/2013 23:46

Aibu to think there's more to my 'uncle' than meets the eye? He's always been around and is a nice old chap, and He's showing the kids a good time here in Cornwall, but there's been some weird shit happening, and my oldest seems to be rather attached to this leather tube my uncle gave him. There have been some seedy looking characters hanging about. Uncle Merry seems to think that they are fine, but if its not caves its boats and strange men.... I get the feeling that there is something very dark going on! Confused

BlazinStoke · 19/08/2013 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cory · 19/08/2013 12:16

Oh dear, Saggy, looks like you could have a rising problem on your hands.

Pachacuti · 19/08/2013 13:47

Or thin lips, Blazin. If they have thin lips they are likely to turn out to be secretly foreign and we all know what that means.

doingthesplitz · 19/08/2013 14:29

Gold fillings are also a giveaway, I believe.

AIBU to think our local constable has taken a shine to me? He's constantly calling around to complain about DS and DD and their 'meddling ways' as he calls it. It's obviously an excuse to see me as DS and DD are lovely children as are their friends, even that chubby boy they call Fatty.

He's called around three times already this week and I think DH is getting suspicious. WIBU to suggest that we meet behind the bike shed at the Police station instead?

Pachacuti · 19/08/2013 15:00

The local constable and his family are a bit, well, Not Our Sort Of People, though, doingthesplitz. Bear in mind that his nephew Ern is expected to eat in the kitchen with Cook when he comes round to visit; if you're not comfortable letting the nephew into your dining room, IMO you should think very carefully before letting the uncle into your more ... intimate ... areas.

doingthesplitz · 19/08/2013 15:09

Good point Pachacuti. Maybe I'll go after that nice Inspector Jenks instead. More my type really.

Pachacuti · 19/08/2013 15:11

I did hear a rumour that Jenks had worked his way up through the ranks . But one would never know from talking to him, and he wouldn't embarrass one in front of one's friends.

cory · 19/08/2013 15:11

Albert, under these circumstances, an important issue is to keep an eye on your children's diet. Not to many carbohydrates. And firm discipline.

cory · 19/08/2013 15:35

AIBU in thinking that dc will end up emotionally damaged by their father's philandering?

He absolutely showered his last little number in gold and the present one, by all accounts, is a right cow.

Dc are already showing worrying tendencies: ds is always playing with fire, dss is a kleptomaniac and dsd a nymphomaniac (her boyfriend is extremely aggressive). Should I take them for counselling or just try to eliminate the OW?

LondonMother · 19/08/2013 15:41

I'd save your energies for that beauty contest you've entered next week with your other DSD (the one who burst out of your DH's head) and the nympho. That Paris's judgement isn't as sound as your DH thinks and if I were you I'd forget about offering to make him king of the known world and offer him some top totty instead. It could save a lot of trouble in the long run.

Lweji · 19/08/2013 16:03

My DD's (teenager) dad has suddenly showed up and has dropped a huge bomb.
It seems that the bastard is actually an European prince and wants to make DD his heir, because he can no longer father children (otherwise he'd be likely to marry some SA swimmer or something). His mother is an interfering bitch and they want to take her away from me to train her.

Good luck to them. Her behaviour is as far from a proper princess as you can get.
Not a good virginal girl like those beautiful princesses in Monaco, or graceful and indoorsy like the daughter and granddaughter (her DD) of the Queen of England, or even as beautiful as her other two granddaughters.

She is most shocked and now the paparazzi started showing up.
I can't even date her Algebra teacher in peace.

What have I done to deserve this?

CorrieDale · 19/08/2013 16:10

Aibu to refuse to allow my extremely bright daughter to go to boarding school at age 11? She got into the local outstanding grammar without even needing tutoring (stealth boast ;-) ) and we'd even bought the uniform. Then she gets a letter from an owl Shock and suddenly she wants to learn 'magic' and become a witch, instead of becoming a dentist, like she'd always dreamed of. Whenever I ask for further details (ofsted? league tables? location?) she tells me I wouldn't understand because I'm just a muggle. I'm at my wits' end!

Sokmonsta · 19/08/2013 21:11

Blazin, one of them is an older gent. I think his hearts in the right place but he gets led into naughty ways by the boss, affectionately calls the little ones poppin' jays. Two of them just like to sing and dance about what they are up to. Tbh they've helped the dc out no end, especially when the ringleader stole their guitar and was going to put it in some kind of stinky volcano. He's the sneakiest snook of them all, I think perhaps he was never taught to share.

superchick · 19/08/2013 22:17

AIBU to be worried about my DS's food intake? He was only born on Sunday and since then has eaten 1 apple, 2 plums, 3 oranges, 4 pears and 5 strawberries. Then I left him with MIL for the day and she fed him sausages, cake, lollipops, salami, pickles and melon. Now he seems really unwell and is munching on a leaf. OTOH he looks like he might be ready to sleep through. Should I encourage this to get a good night's sleep? I sure as he'll could do with one what with all the night feeds and the worry. DH says I'm worrying about nothing but he's not even a week old.

LondonMother · 20/08/2013 08:30

Superchick, they change so quickly at that age, you may be in for a big surprise.

AIBU to leave my DN home alone while I go to the theatre? She tells such dreadful lies and last week we had an excruciatingly embarrassing (and expensive) incident when she called out the fire brigade to a non-existent fire. Every brigade in London was called out, for some reason, and I had to pay a large fine as well as having to replace the entire contents of the house after they got a bit over-enthusiastic with the hoses. So I want to teach M a lesson by leaving her behind tonight. What's the worst that could happen?