AIBU to think that I should be able to get treatment on the NHS without everyone screaming and running out of the room?

[WhatHo]

Look, it's hard enough being a zombie as it is. I'm constantly hungry, it's just my metabolism, but NO everyone gives me a hard time about being greedy.

I just think it was bloody rude of everyone to run off when I lurched into A&E. I pay my taxes well I did before I died just like everyone else. I just feel have the right to get my leg sewn back on without everyone INCLUDING THE DOCTORS AND NURSES treating me like some kind of freak.

AIBU?

I haven't been myself and you do have to process your own puffer fish if you want good DIY victim results. Tedious, frankly.

The vegans are delicious, sort of nutty and very umami, IYSWIM. Give them a try.

Is it because you're a French zombie? Have you got that form you need for NHS treatment? Or are you just wandering around, asking for directions to 'le Lek Poob', smoking moodily and picking bits off your stomach and eating them when you get bored?

Oh, so now you have personal troubles too, eh OP?

Drip, drip of blood-

LTB

Leave The brains

Zombie thread and drip feeding.

Anyone else get the feeling OP isn't what she seems?

Yanbu, why would you choose to dine in an a&e department, you could pick up all sorts. My restaurant of choice is an office, they are all unfit and have plenty of meat on their bones from sitting at their desks all day.

Become a vegetarian!

GRAINS! GRAINS!

I think it's outrageous. I worked many years for the NHS and over half the staff are zombies. I think that one day they died but just couldn't face phoning in sick and no one noticed.

I didn't mind working with them and used to be quite helpful in always recovering any patients having larval therapy. My zombie colleagues didn't like going near those cases and after working with the unions (again mainly zombie) they were allowed to refuse to treat patients with this.

I'd go to the papers. Probably the Daily Moan. Can you manage one of those overly depressed sad faces for the pic?

PS if you ever want to see the zombie army in action I recommend going to see the Rock Choir. Went to the O2 a few weeks ago and it was an impressively scary spectacle of coordinated rocking!

I'm soooo soooo sorry - it IS very hard to keep up with the latest PC terms when trying not to get eaten

I do like your sort OP but I wouldn't want to live next door to you - maybe I am a bigot - oh lordy!

ps I tend to think being a 'zombie' is just a life style choice - so you don't have to work for a living

RevoltingPeasant (how appropriate) and Frusso I can't help drip, drip, drip feeding, it's my guts liquidising.

It's this kind of sneery behaviour that I can't stand from the living. You're all a nest of pro-living vipers.

gordy please see my post above. There are many zombies in work and I take offense to your generalization on behalf of all of my ex-living ex-colleagues.

The NHS would collapse if it were not for the hard working staff who don't know when to stop working. The work/life balance of the living staff members is such they don't notice when they become deceased.

You see, this kind of abuse of the NHS is the reason why it's on it's knees.

You can't just rock up to A&E and expect to eat the dedicated Doctors & Nurses, then complain when everyone runs away from you because you were in the wrong department.

The morgue is clearly sign posted. The forensic pathologist is much more experienced to deal with your leg than a junior doctor or a staff nurse.

It's this sense of entitlement that pisses me off as a HCP.

If you had arrived at my A&E department, snapping your teeth at the staff, our bulldog receptionist would have removed you by the scruff of your chewed neck!

Be fair namethattuna

you'd need to acertain first if the dismembered leg was an "Accident" ( does the OP sound unhinged enough to do this on purpose? Probably yes )
doesn't reeeeeealy sound like an "Emergency" though considering OP is probably in a state beyond rigor mortis and into putrification

Could you not just slip them some sticky plaster and send them home?

(Caring, fluffy HCP here)

Considering your ex-deceased status, you could probably reattach your limbs with a staple gun and some cable ties. I'm a dab hand with both, and also a HCP - the nhs is screwed, we gotta diversify!!!
You could then pop down B and Q, I'm sure someone will help you find the necessary tools for the job, a you won't have to queue for so long. If they turn out not to be so helpful you could always eat them.

Well as the NHS is clearly going to continue to fail the undead community, I do think there may be a gap in the market for a zombie surgery, staffed by people who are prepared to come to work with a staple gun, knitting needles and perhaps a large axe.

I do need a job actually. My foray into childminding ended disastrously. I only chased the children round the table screaming 'BRAINS! BRAINS!!!" once okay, twice. okay, five times and they shut me down. Lifeists.

You've no idea of the troubles I've faced since rising from the grave.

I'm sorry, but you can't come on here moaning that you are hard done by when you chose an alternative lifestyle! Suck it the brains up and get on with it!

huh, saggy - I'm a zombie that's what we do: moan. (and groan)

I mean honestly. You'll be suggesting ghouls shouldn't wail next.

WhatHo I share your pain. I reanimated three days after death, and was frankly discusted by my friends' reactions. Most of them didn't want to know - except for one weirdo who kept trying to stick his fingers in my fatal injuries. I had to give up my lucrative carpentry job and ended up with Ocado

@ Jesus!
OP. Look, you chose to be undead. The NHS is clearly for the living. Have you ever seen a dead person paying their taxes? Have you? Have you?

Grr, there are enough things to worry about in NHS hospitals without previously-dead people wandering around, dripping rotting gunk all over the place! [grr]

But dont you go calling me zombiest, I've got friends who are zombies so I cant be.

Being undead is a lifestyle choice. I do not buy the idea that reanimating is an addiction. I know plenty of people who have stayed dead and do not expect our taxes to pay for their self inflicted health issues beyond the grave.

I am sorry but I think we need a Darwinist approach here. Survival of the least putrified.

[grr] should be

I saw a van driving around the other day with a billboard on the back that said "zombies, why cant you just fuck off and die and stay dead ?"
Am glad someone has the guts to say these things, everyones trying to be such lefty-hippy-liberals about the whole zombie problem and its just bloody rediculus.

It's the NHS zero tolerance policy. One little nibble and everyone over reacts. My poor neighbour Nosferatu has the same problem. And he only goes in at night when it's quiet.

It's the NHS zero tolerance policy. One little nibble and everyone over reacts. My poor neighbour Nosferatu has the same problem. And he only goes in at night when it's quiet.