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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be getting pissed off at people thinking an elective section is the easy option

59 replies

wonderingifiam2013 · 13/08/2013 11:47

I had a very traumatic near on 40 hour labour which ended in an EMCS.

I believe it saved my baby's life, and although we were both ill and in hospital for a while afterwards - thankfully all is ok now.

I decided (and DH strenuously agreed as he said he never wanted to see me in such a mess ever again!) that if we ever decided to have another child - I would opt for an elective section.

I'm now pregnant with #2 and the midwife has agreed with me that a section is the best option as it couldn't be guaranteed that the same thing would happen again - I'm just waiting to see the consultant.

Now I know they don't mean to be so thoughtless ... but I've since had 'ooh you've got the Posh Spice option now haven't you as you've had a section before' and 'when do you find out if you can have the section YOU want'? 'Oooh - are you going for the too posh to push option?'

This annoys me greatly as I'm not taking this decision lightly. And don't consider it to be an 'option' - but a very researched and practical decision. It's major surgery and I'm not looking forward to the recovery with a lively toddler running around!

I'm now doubting my choice that I've been 100% set on for years. Am I stupid for thinking I'll cope afterwards with a toddler and a new baby? Am I taking the 'easy' option?

Or should I stick to my guns and TRY and ignore the insensitive comments being made about ELCS's?

OP posts:

DameFanny · 13/08/2013 20:21

Ds was slash and grab under general anaesthetic. Quite traumatic beforehand. If I'd had another it would have been an ELCS, if only because it would have been nice for at least one of us (me and DH) to be present at ds's birth. As a friend's sister (a doctor) said after, you've tried head vs pelvis once and it didn't work so why worry over a 'natural' birth.

merrymouse · 13/08/2013 20:26

Don't we all try and go for the easy option in labour, whatever we think that will be?

celticclan · 13/08/2013 20:28

I've had 2 sections, the first one was f an elective for medical reasons and the second one was an emergency section after an attempted emcs.

I found myself irritated by the "poor you" comments. It was easy for me, I didn't even need painkillers after the first section and I was back to normal within a few days after both. I wanted to tell people that they should save their pity for others because I actually felt that I had the easy option.

Obviously each birth is different and after a few months its forgotten about anyway.

celticclan · 13/08/2013 20:31

I meant to sat after an attempted VBAC.

celticclan · 13/08/2013 20:31

Say!

bishboschone · 13/08/2013 20:50

I have had both and honestly if I was giving birth again I would have a elcs . It's not the easy option but it is the less scary option for me . I had a hideous terrifying birth with my dd and comparatively my ds birth by c section was scary but for different reasons . However the recovery is a different story . I was in town with my dd 2 days later despite having a episiotomy . I literally couldn't move after the c section . It was horrendous . I was on back to back co codomol and paracetamol to cope with the pain... It is massive surgery but you do get over it, just not as quickly ... Those who said a tummy tuck is much easier , I would have thought that was obvious as they don't cut right through you , just the top later of skin!!

rallytog1 · 14/08/2013 10:47

YANBU. Unless you're incredibly lucky there is no easy way of giving birth.

If I have any more LOs I will be classed as high risk and have to have an elcs done by a consultant - this is thanks to medical issues and injuries caused by the emcs I had to have with my DD. Despite the trauma and injuries I suffered with my cs, people still tell me that having another one will be the easy option.

I know the risks are smaller with an elcs but I do worry about people asking for an elcs with their first because they're worried about whether they can cope with childbirth. I did both a 24-hour back to back labour and a cs, and would take the labour over the cs any day.

shelley72 · 14/08/2013 11:09

I can't imagine why anyone would choose major surgery over a straight forward vb. But therein lies the trouble - you can't predict how a vb will go. Fwiw I've had a vb, an elcs (for footling breech) and emcs (also for breech) which I'm still struggling to recover from almost 7 weeks on. By far, for me, the elcs was the easiest. Even with a toddler to look after. But I do get irritated by the poor you tilty head comments. And I don't think any way of giving birth is the easy option so yanbu. Your birth, your choice. Ignore others opinions.

MammaTJ · 14/08/2013 17:59

You either have the crap during labour or have a CS and have the crap to deal with afywrw

I have had three different experiences. I had a vaginal birth with DD1, text book and easy recovery. I had a EMCS with epidural with DD2, took a while to get over. I had an EMCS with general anaesthetic with DS, becuse he was HUGE and I was too far gone into pushing to stay still for epidural.

The vaginal birth was by far the easiest to get over. The final one was the hardest. We all survived though, by the skin of our teeth in DD2s case and in my case with DS, and that is the main thing.

Don't be too upset by people silly remarks, they are trying to be positive about something that upsets a lot of people. Iff you try to see it like that, it isn't so bad.

All the very best of luck!

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