Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to wish i was a SAHM

45 replies

McNewPants2013 · 13/08/2013 10:49

not a smug post.

I on 2 weeks holiday from work. I have done so much with the DC and my house is finally clean, tidy and organised. I am happier, DC are happier and my relationship is alot better.

I don't feel so tired and in the last week i have not had 1 panic attack.

As a family we cant afford it, but IABU to hope for a big money win to become a SAHM.

OP posts:

DuelingFanjo · 13/08/2013 10:50

YANBU, a lottery win would change your life.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 13/08/2013 10:53

No - not at all. I've given up a good job to be a SAHM. I'm
still on mat leave and not going back.

WOHM have my total respect. Until I had DS, I honestly had no clue how hard it could be

I'm very thankful every day that I've had the opportunity to do this and do not take it for granted

Ghanagirl · 13/08/2013 10:57

YANBU, I've been lucky enough to be a stay at home mum for last year, my twins are six its been much easier and the children love me being at home, unfortunately due to finances will probably have to go back to work in next 6months

MortifiedAdams · 13/08/2013 11:07

I do find combining FT work and dd a challenge, however I am totally undomesticated and not crafty or the fun parent. I needed to go back to work. Now I am back, I itch for days at home with dd, and now I am pg with number two I am.eagerly anticipating my next Mat Leave (even though it wont start til Jan!).

DH, however, does a bloody amazibg job at SAHing. He is a TA so off all summer, and he and dd are having a whale of a time, the house is tidy, theres dinner on every evening (he even messages me each day to ask what I want and goes out and get it). I feel very well looked after and dd is thriving.

However I do feel a bit sad that dh is her no.1 for anything at the mi ute. It will.even out in Sept. once he goes back to work.

Original poster

McNewPants2013 · 13/08/2013 12:04

Can I have you DH he sounds amazing

OP posts:

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 13/08/2013 12:12

YANBU. Being a SAHP is hard, and I can't afford it (as I am a single parent with no child support and so on) and FT is very stressful due to some mental health problems. I had four months off work for mental health reasons and it was a lot easier, relaxing and less stressful, however I had DC in school (for two months- it was in their summer holidays so they were at home too) and it was great. I think it must be hard with a toddler and a baby, as toddler speak can be quite mind numbing.

noisytoys · 13/08/2013 12:21

It's probably a grass is greener thing. I'm a SAHM and can't wait to get back to work. Had another rejection after interview today so making the most of being a SAHM but I would love the opportunity to work

pommedechocolat · 13/08/2013 12:23

Hmm. I tried SAHM and it WAS NOT for me. We're all happier with me working.

Each to their own but YANBU for feeling miffed that bloody money stops you picking the option you prefer.

Babyroobs · 13/08/2013 13:07

I certainly wish I could afford to be a sahm but with it will never happen > I am looking after 4dc's all day today then have to work a nightshift tonight and again on thur and friday. Come the weekend i will be completely exhausted and grumpy and not feel like doing anything with the kids.

Original poster

McNewPants2013 · 13/08/2013 13:32

That's the thing, work sucks all the energy out of me so when I get home I already been up for 11 hours so finding the energy to do something with the DC

OP posts:

TarkaTheOtter · 13/08/2013 13:34

YANBU if you think it would suit you/your family better (it works for me/mine). I do worry about what I will do when dcs are older though and whether I'll ever get back into work.

TylerHopkins · 13/08/2013 13:38

I admire anyone who goes out to work full time and then comes home to look after kids, cook, do the housework. I'm knackered just thinking about it to be honest. I can barely get myself up and out in the morning and when I come home I'm fit for nothing so I don't think I would cope if I had kids!

Whatevertheweather · 13/08/2013 13:43

YANBU I would love to be a sahm. Unfortunately finances dictate otherwise, have been back to work ft for 5 months after a 7 month may leave. DD's are 1 (on Thursday!) and 6 - it ca be very stressful and very tiring fitting everything in but it does make me appreciate weekends and holidays with them so much.

I dream of a lottery win big enough so I could stay at home until baby dd is at school

brightonbythesea · 13/08/2013 13:49

yanbu to want it, but if you can't afford it there is no point in dwelling on it and wishing otherwise. Enjoy the weekends and holidays that you do have, and think of the quality time your children are getting with you

thebody · 13/08/2013 13:50

who wouldn't love a lottery win. fantastic.

I have been a sahm and worked FT and now do school hours and hols. that's the best. big pay cut though.

Bubbles1066 · 13/08/2013 14:51

It's a grass is always greener thing. I'm a SHAM, have been for 3 years now. I'm counting the days to DD starts nursery and I can get a job. It can be mind numbing and lonely at home.

Bubbles1066 · 13/08/2013 14:54

^ meant SAHM. Although I do sometimes feel like a SHAM!

Lavidaenrosa · 13/08/2013 17:01

YANBU.

MrsLouisTheroux · 13/08/2013 17:18

Well, I'm in the middle of the school summer holidays (teacher) and the grass is a whole lot greener when I am at home with the DC and not at work.
I cook proper meals, we go out (a lot), the house is clean and tidy, the garden is maintained, we see family and friends etc etc.
Autumn term will start and the treadmill will start again. Everything is rushed and I am shattered.

YANBU.

peppapigsmummy · 13/08/2013 17:25

I miss my maternity so much. I had 15 month off (so very lucky) and it really suited me. I work 55 hr weeks right now not inc. travel and I am miserable on the inside. I go PT in nov but I am never happier than when home with my children. I didn't need to work before. Now I do. and it flipping sucks. I have to daily remind myself of how lucky I am to have a job, and all the lovely material things we have. Dc come to work with me so although im not missing out on any time with them, it isnot the ssame. I long for the moments we are alone to enjoy

peppapigsmummy · 13/08/2013 17:26

...pressed enter too soon!

..Each others company properly. I get some people need to work for themselves and don't fully enjoy being a sahm but Im banking on a big win too!

snickers251 · 13/08/2013 17:29

I am very lucky that I've been a sahm for nearly 3 years now since ds was born.

I loved it for the first year but now I've had enough.

I'm going back to work full time in 2 weeks when dd will be 6 months and I cannot wait

Tailtwister · 13/08/2013 17:29

I have recently returned to work part-time after about 3 years off. DS1 is just about to start school and DS2 is 3. It seemed like the right time.

I honestly didn't realise how unhappy being at home full time made me until I went back. However, I work from home unless I have client meetings, work part-time, so no commute etc. I guess that's the best of both worlds for me right now. I also feel I contribute to the family finances, can afford to do things education wise for my children I couldn't do if I didn't work.

I still drop (a lot!) of balls, but I just feel better within myself. What was right for me when the children were babies isn't right for me now.

morethanpotatoprints · 13/08/2013 17:31

YANBU and I think it is such a pity when you can't make the choice you want to. I have been a sahm for over 20 years and didn't want to work again from being pregnant. It has its ups and downs the same as any other choice though and I know its not for everyone.

RaspberryLemonPavlova · 13/08/2013 17:39

No, you are definitely not being unreasonable.

I've just gone back after 15 years. I was lucky that we could sustain it - although one reason it was so long was because as my youngest DC started school I spent a lot of time caring for my terminally ill mother.

I have been really fortunate in finding work I love as a TA (kept up my skills volunteering in school) so still have holidays and only work school hours, but I am sad at missing some of the school stuff and the daily routine is a lot harder.

Flip

1 2