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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I have kept my nose out?!

49 replies

MarthaStewFart · 12/08/2013 20:32

I got a bit........ annoyed at a woman today and had a bit of a scream at her, so I'm basically asking if I should have said anything or not?

Was out shopping today when a woman was walking past with a friend. I say woman, she looked horrific. Anyway, she's going on about how her ex-husband is being a "stupid dick" for trying to make her "let the fackin' dogs ahhhht of the caaaahr" and that if she wants them to stay in the car then they'll stay in the car, windows and all.

I told her it was cruel, inhuman and if she had even a shred of decency she'd let them out. She started screaming and having a go, turning the air blue, threatening to kill me, telling me I'll die, hope my kids get SN, etcetc.

A policeman then rocked up and said someone had gone in the station around the corner and had reported her for disturbance. She turns on him, screaming and going nuts, and then takes a swing at him! She ended up being taken away in cuffs and I told them all I knew about her dogs.

They're now hoping to press charges of animal cruelty as well as attempted assault of an officer and creating a public nuisance.

My DP thinks I did brilliantly, however a few friends who I've mentioned this to have said I shouldn't have even gotten involved, and now I've managed to get her arrested! I apparently "wound her up"! So now I'm Confused!

What would anyone else have done?

OP posts:
BeetleBugBaby · 12/08/2013 20:34

You didn't get her arrested though, she managed that all by herself, the loon.

SuckAtRelationships · 12/08/2013 20:35

I wouldn't have said anything to a stranger. Not sure if that make you U though.

Wound her up is a tad far. No one should be that easily wound up to take a swing at a cop!

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 12/08/2013 20:35

If I saw someone leaving dogs shut in a car I'd say something.

If it was an overheard conversation I'd say nothing.

Original poster
MarthaStewFart · 12/08/2013 20:46

I don't think I was "winding her up", I was honestly trying to get her to see that locking dogs in a car is unacceptable for even five minutes, let alone hours like she was boasting! If I had walked away I would have worried like mad for the poor dogs...

OP posts:
thebody · 12/08/2013 20:48

so did the dogs get freed? bit confused.

Kickarsequeen · 12/08/2013 20:50

I recently as a nun get told off by a shopper for leaving a dog in a hot car! That scenario isn't one I expected to see!

I think you did good! I hope in the same situation I have the guts to speak up too! Good onya! :)

thebody · 12/08/2013 20:51

nuns mumsnet????

Lj8893 · 12/08/2013 20:55

I wouldn't have necessarily said anything when just hearing a passing conversation.

But you didn't get her arrested, she got herself arrested by behaving in the way she did!!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/08/2013 20:55

She said she "hoped your kids get SN".. Hmm

What a strange thing to say

complexnumber · 12/08/2013 20:58

"I recently as a nun get told off by a shopper "

Sorry, you have to expand a bit on that... please.

CoolaSchmoola · 12/08/2013 20:59

They can't prosecute on hearsay.

If you 'had a bit of a scream' at me because of something I had said whilst walking down the street then I would have told you categorically to fuck right off.

You heard a snippet, you have no idea whether she has ever locked her dogs in a car, or if she was repeating something said in an argument to solely annoy her DP, but that she wouldn't really do. She may not even HAVE dogs, and could have been repeating something she had witnessed.

If you had seen her lock her dogs in the car then yes, of course you would have been right to say something, but you didn't. You overheard part of a conversation and have no idea of the context, so for me, YWBU.

And as for the comment about her appearance, that just makes you sound like a bitch.

Original poster
MarthaStewFart · 12/08/2013 21:02

I'm sorry, I should have said! I received a courtesy call this afternoon regarding it (which is when they told me about what they're hoping to charge her with officially) and they said they'd found the dogs. They were, in fact, locked in her car. Window wasn't open, no water to be seen. They were taken to the vet, and they were fine once some water got in them.

But yeah... psycho much? Besides, she really did look horrible.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 12/08/2013 21:07

Hmm.

I agree with Coola.

Did you actually see this car with dogs in it?

And it sounded like a past incident this "horrific looking" Hmm woman was talking about. Why did it matter what she looked like? Hmm

... On a lighter not I think Kickarse meant "I recently saw a nun..."!

Salmotrutta · 12/08/2013 21:09

Oh well, if she looked horrible then obviously you were quite right...

pinkpeoniesplease · 12/08/2013 21:13

Police don't prosecute 'animal cruelty' the RSPCA do, and there is no such offence as 'public nuisance' in these circumstances.

I think YABU and also this is not true.

pinkpeoniesplease · 12/08/2013 21:14

And agree commenting on another woman's appearance is very unkind not to mention irrelevant to your AIBU.

thebody · 12/08/2013 21:14

oh thought you WERE a nun Kickarse.. thought mumsnetting would be banned along with sex and fun.

op still really don't understand you.

you overheard a conversation by a horrible looking woman and you butted in and told her off? bizarre and you sound unhinged yourself however as dogs found you are now a hero..

strange story though.

littlemog · 12/08/2013 21:15

Well however you look at it - you saved some dogs from dying in a hot car today so you did a good job imo.

Salmotrutta · 12/08/2013 21:16

If its true.

MrsCampbellBlack · 12/08/2013 21:18

I am confused.

Was this a total overheard conversation that you interrupted?

And what Salmotrutta said.

MalcolmTuckersMistress · 12/08/2013 21:21

Well done! That's one less turd brained fuckwit on the streets for an afternoon, and she'll be charged.

You is a crime fighting super hero innit!

Joking aside, those poor dogs have been saved.

Fakebook · 12/08/2013 21:23

You screamed at her about leaving her dogs in the car? And you're suprised she retaliated? You both sound like a pair of weirdos. Yes you did wind her up by screaming at her.

Original poster
MarthaStewFart · 12/08/2013 21:24

All true, am just repeating what was told to me by the bloke on the phone. And since when did Mumsnet get so uppity about commenting on appearances?

And was an overheard conversation that would have probably been heard in France, it was so loud.

And I'm pleased with myself since I saved two dogs from a car.

OP posts:
pinkr · 12/08/2013 21:27

i'm surprised the police called you to tell you what they were doing etc. sounds a bit odd.

Salmotrutta · 12/08/2013 21:28
Hmm

Ever since I've been on here MNers have called posters on it when they criticise folks appearance.

Unless you are Helen of Troy reincarnated I'd leave off the criticising if I were you.