to find this rude and uncomfortable but not know what to do?

[strawberry34]

Dsis and I live two hours away, she lives near my parents. When I visit them all every couple of months dsis will always find reason to raise past misfortunes I've had in front of the whole family/friends(never alone, so designed to be uncomfortable) such as 'oh have you bumped into any parking bollards recently' (ten years ago I dented my car on one, it was annoying as cost me £400 to fix) or 'lost any wing mirrors this week?' (fifteen years ago I damaged my wing mirror so had to buy a new one).

Alternatively she'll criticise my parking down to the minutest angle. None of this is done in a pleasant way, it's done in a gloaty, superior type way. My other dsis, if present, will snigger in the background. Until now I've always ignored/made a comment to try to stop her. But it's gradually got worse over the years. I feel I can't say much back as she's had a bad few years, she's tried lots of careers but quit them all due to not liking, she hasn't much money etc and the driving comments stem from her current work as a delivery driver (she thinks she owns the road now). Whereas I've had quite a lot of success work wise, house wise etc. I wouldn't dream of trying to make her feel small and embarrassed in public 'dsis remember when your flat went into negative equity? When you quit your tenth job?' etc I've always been very supportive of her.

Yesterday she laughed that I shouldn't take my dd I'm the car as I'm a rubbish driver apparently fyi I have a clean license, drive safely and ten years of no claims...

Aibu to find her comments rude and annoying? She knows I feel uncomfortable by them.

What the body said:

'really sis you are a bit boring you know. shall I bring up your mistakes now so we can all laugh at you? no thought not. do be quiet your making yourself look a right prat'

Doesn't stoop to her level, doesn't breeze over it, doesn't let her think she can keep doing it. Does put her on the spot make her very uncomfortable. Does show that you will not put up with it anymore and she can go bully someone else to feel good about herself.

Job done.

Good God MarthaStewFart, she must have died!!! Had it coming, fair play to you for giving it to her with both barrels.

I'm firmly of the opinion that if you can't take it, then don't dish it out.

"Oh yes, that was ten years ago. Remind us again how many jobs you've had in that time?"

Yep - time to hand it back to her on a platter. If she can't take it - she shouldn't dish it out. She's old enough to know better.

Thanks, MintyChops! I'd had a few and it was literally storing up in me until I exploded. At least it shut her up. We're on semi-decent terms now!

Details here: Seems they have been hacked - ignore. www.landlordzone.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?57094-WARNING-Land-Registry-has-been-hacked&p=455280

Whoops wrong thread.

Agree that she needs to be seriously and publicly brought up on it. Families get very uncomfortable if someone moves out of their allotted (imaginary) role. She might not realise she does it and she might be surprised that it annoys you.

Last year, I said to my brother at Christmas lunch, after the millionth jibe about my being untidy (which apparently I was at 19), along the lines of 'I'm wondering why you feel the need to mention my teenage untidiness every single time I see you. Are you trying to embarrass me? Why would you do that? I would never dream of mentioning at that age you failed your degree and still haven't paid back all the money you borrowed, because that would be rude and irrelevant, so why is it ok for you to?'

Fucking family meltdown but nobody has called me untidy since and they are a LOT more respectful.

I think you do need to respond to this but do it so you don't fall out.

I have an ex-colleague does this sort of thing on the grounds of "You work part time, have an easy life, never do much work, etc". Last time we metshe did this in front of a group of others, I just said "I think that joke is getting a bit old now don't you?". She has never spoken to me since - Result!

I would say in a cool collective voice

Shall we start listing your mistakes as well sister or would that be a rather unpleasant thing for me to do as the list would be far longer and we could be here a while.

Or

Cut the crap sister and stop trying to make yourself feel better by putting other people/me down when fixating on there/my mistakes as you have made far more but most of the family are to polite to mention any of the mistakes you have made as where as mine are minor yours are hugh great whopas of mistakes. Now every time you mention a negative about me I shall think of all the negatives about you - so do be quite for 5-6 hours please