To be slightly (only a teeny bit) unsettled by this (relates to an ex BF)

[nothingtoseeheremoveon]

Just wanted a reality check to see if anyone else does this sort of thing too.
I'm happily married, despite what this post may imply, and have been for 4 years, with 2 small children. I have a few exes, but one that got under my skin around 2004, only for 7 months. It ended acrimoniously and we have brief dalliance in 2005 for a month. The ex emailed me once after I moved in with my DP (who is now DH in 2008) but I have had no contact since then after I told him I was very happy with DP and had no intention of having anything further to do with him or the past.
Anyway, I click upon the ex's facebook profile once every few months, I think because of curiosity more than anything, and perhaps a perverse need to think my life is going better than his (childish I know)
He now has what looks like a serious GF.
My feelings are a mixture of 'Good for him', nostalgia, and also being slightly miffed that he is no longer single and miserable!
Just to reiterate, I have NO intention of contacting him, and I would never cheat on DH or put my own happiness/family at risk.

Is any of this normal or am I a stalker?

I have been very happily married for 5 years.

I was a bit "wtf" when I found out my ex was married. My ex from when I was 14 and dated for 6months

I am generally sane. It happens to all of us.

It's not normal, no.
What did he do that was so bad?
Why do you want him to be single and miserable?

You sound lovely

No, it doesn't happen to all of us.

Who the hell wishes someone to remain single and miserable? Unless he was an absolute bastard, in which case that would be understandable, but you make no mention of this.

It's a bit like fiddling with a zit isn't it, you know you shouldn't and you (mostly) don't.

You know you shouldn't be even looking at his FB profile or googling him in any way. So don't.

Is this not supposed to be lighthearted rather than joyless ?

Not sure what about the OPs post makes it seem lighthearted.

Perverse need to knowing her life is better and wanting him to be single and alone.

Maybe I'm missing something here...

To be clear, ' single and miserable' was a turn of phrase. I don't genuinely wish this on him.

TBH, I'm not sure really - you say you want him to be miserable which suggests you still have feelings for him of some kind (even if they aren't particularly loving or affectionate), and you have more invested in your relationship with him than it seems you are prepared to admit to yourself. However, I think a lot of people have a 'one who got away' even if they dove each other mad, so perhaps this could be the beginning of your closure on this relationship, knowing that now you've both 'got away' as it were.

I occasionally have peaks xh's profile. After something I saw here (different post) I had a quick sneak earlier. I am secretly glad I've been the one out of me and xh who settled down and has kids, and I always slightly gloatingly think, well he still can't manage it and he wont change. But today I'd discovered he has moved away from his mummy, something he always refused to do. It made me a little for a while and then I thought, actually he probably has learnt from his mistakes and maybe he is changing and I know from being there the distance from mummy dearest will be helping his newer relationship. So I've come round to, well fair play to him, and good for her as she won't have to deal with what I did.

Yanbu

All exes should disappear off the face of the earth after a break up, or at least have the decency to live and die alone out of acceptance that they will never find better than me.

I sort of know what you mean, although in my case it's simply a feeling of "so I wasn't good enough to make you settle down, but she is?". However, I've never felt this way 5+ years down the line. Block him from facebook, otherwise as Jarvis Cocker says he will remain "Like a car crash I can see but I just can't avoid, like a plane I've been told I never should board , like a film that's so bad but I've got to stay till the end..."

Breasticles , dojo and Anne have sussed where I'm coming from with this. At the time, the ex was 22, I was 28 . Now I'm 37, and he seems to have met a girl his own age.
Seems I need to stop with the FB checking. I think the nostalgia( for a lot of things ) is driven by the sudden increase in my own responsibilities....I have 10 week old, much wanted IVF twins, but the lack of sleep and freedom is a big shock to the system

AnneNonimous puts it beautifully!

Oh God, I did exactly this when my DS was 6 weeks old. How odd. I think that it's to do with wanting an alternative look at where your life could have gone, if things had been different, now that you are thoroughly tied down and settled and have just had this big life-changing thing happen to you - rather than any actual dissatisfaction with your current situation. If that makes sense.

You'll get a lot of people on here saying it's not normal behaviour. Whether it is or it isn't a bet loads of people have a sneaky peak at their ex's FB from time to time

ExH just had a baby and it weirded me out a bit. I didn't go looking for the information, though. Leave FB alone!

Ywnbu. There is always one. I hope ex fiance carries on being miserable. Yes agree ex's should move. Thankfully mine actually have!

I am friends on FB with my first proper BF. I don't necessarily check up on him but I see his updates. He sometimes comments on my statuses referencing something from when we were together. Now that I find weird.

I am however a bit jealous that he is now in a very happy relationship and has a lovely house. But not with me. He was my first true love and I was a dick to him.

FB is the devil for assisting nosiness!

Is there another point to Facebook?

Night feeds do allow random thoughts to pop into your head. If we'd had the technology back then that we have now I probably would have checked up on old flames but even now I'm not on FB so either staid + contented or lazy + a techno numpty.

So I don't think you're a stalker, YWNBU. I do think you're very honest and congrats on your twins,

OMG Breasticles - I just googled my boyfriend from when I was 14 and haven't laid eyes on in circa 20 yrs. He's fat, totally bald, lives in a different country and we do exactly the same job !

I'm with OP here!

However, my facebook snooping of an ex always leaves me incredulous, and thinking why would a normal seeming woman want to marry him? He's also got children, and I just can't imagine him being grown-up enough to deal with babies/toddlers!

TVTonight :D