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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you see someone on the floor you help?

87 replies

FrenchRuby · 11/08/2013 11:32

Me and dh were walking back from a night out last night. Half way down a busy road we saw a guy (about 19/20 years old) laying on the floor. There were about 3 or 4 people who were in front of us and they all walked past!!
He was obviously really drunk, we managed to get him up and sat him on a bench, he sobered up a bit and told us his name and where he lived, so we gave him a drink (a coke, not an alcoholic one haha!) phoned a taxi for him and waited with him until it got there.
I was really sad that people had just left him there, he could have been injured or something. Would you have helped or would you have left him there?

OP posts:
maddening · 11/08/2013 14:18

My friend and I stopped in a busy early evening town centre for a homeless man who had blood on his face - said his bag had been stolen so we called ambulance. A man actually had a massive go saying he was a waste of the ambulances time - we pointed out he had already been robbed and at least punched and was out of it so was likely to just get beaten up again. I went and waited by him where he had then collapsed on the kerb and low and behold a car stops and a bloke jumps to beat him up - I tried to reason with him - the police luckily turned up at that minute with the ambulance and the bloke jumped back in the car and they sped off. The chap that had had a go at us came over to apologise.

RNJ3007 · 11/08/2013 14:23

Thank you OP for stopping.

I collapsed on a train and came round to find people stepping over me... I was 34 weeks pregnant and on crutches at the time. When I was sick trying to sit up, someone tutted and accused me of being drunk. People are so often not nice.

shaketheshame · 11/08/2013 14:46

Last year, during on my run, I had a bad fall and I was on the floor because I was in pain, was in a bit of shock. I had sprained badly my ankle. A guy came towards me with his bike, he walked around me and never stopped to ask if I was ok Sad

ClaireMammaBear · 11/08/2013 14:57

When DS and I were teenagers we saw an old man seemingly passed out on the ground, we went over to him and asked if he was ok/ needed help and got no response. He stank like booze so we decided not to touch him and called an ambulance. We waited for the ambulance to arrive and when the paramedics got out the bloke stood up, mumbled something inaudible and wondered off. The paramedics then turned to us and told us off for wasting their time as he was clearly "just drunk" Shock I felt really bad but DS was angry and asked what we were supposed to do, they just got back into the ambulance and left. It makes me really cross thinking back to it.

If I did see someone passed out again I would stop and call an ambulance, probably from a distance, I wouldn't put myself in danger approaching them because if they are drunk they are unpredictable. I'm hoping that paramedic was a one off!

Mia4 · 11/08/2013 15:47

I couldn't just leave them there but i understand why people would be wary and would just contact the police, after all paramedics get attacked sometimes when trying to help people so it puts normal people off.

I did call 999 for someone once when they were on a bench, all weavy and slurring, unable to move. I thought drunk but it turned but she was diabetic, was hypo or hper or something

Thumbwitch · 11/08/2013 15:51

If I was on my own and it was night time, I might pass by if it was a man on the floor (paranoid) - but if I was with someone, or if it was daylight and a busyish street, then I would stop and at least ask them if they were ok, and depending on their response, stop or not (abusive drunks are not going to appreciate any help).

In general, I do stop and help, or at least ask if people want/need help.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 11/08/2013 15:51

I couldn't leave someone lying in the road. A few weeks ago, we were out driving and I spotted a cyclist lying on the ground on a lay by, just off the very busy main road. We turned around at the next roundabout and drove back to check on him. Turns out he was just taking a break from a long ride and waiting for a friend to catch up! God knows why he chose to lie down in the bloody road but when we got back in the car to leave, he moved over to the grass verge instead. I'm still very glad we stopped to make sure he wasn't hurt.

Shakey1500 · 11/08/2013 15:56

Not in the same circumstances but last week abroad,dh and I were chilling on the ground floor balcony whilst ds napped (DM was there also). The balcony is a short distance from the road. A guy came off his motorbike and landed with a thud,the bike landing on top of him. DH and I hoofed it over the balcony to help whilst about 5 other people strolled nonchalantly passed Confused. Thankfully he was only grazed.

thebody · 11/08/2013 15:58

would you want someone to walk past your child/ parent/ you? drunk doesn't matter either as someone already said surely most of us have been drunk once in our lives.

do what's right. what your conscience tells you.

otherwise what have we become as a society?

Sparklingbrook · 11/08/2013 16:01

If you can walk on by with a clear conscience and can sleep at night that's really sad.

everlong · 11/08/2013 16:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foreverhot · 11/08/2013 16:27

Yes I would help, it's sad to think many wouldn't though.

DH has his work college were out for lunch one afternoon (around 12.30pm) in a busy town. A woman had tripped over a loose paving slab and fallen over. She was obese and couldn't get back up. DH said people were stepping over her legs and walking past Angry

DH and work college helped her up and made sure she was OK.

She was lying on the floor crying Sad

foreverhot · 11/08/2013 16:28

(work colleague not college!) Confused

HaveIGotPoosForYou · 11/08/2013 16:32

My friend and I came across a bloke just outside my friends block of flats who was on the floor with a woman next to him who was shouting at him. He'd smacked his head as he was so drunk and she was nearly as drunk as he was.
I helped out as my friend was there too and got him to his flat but his daughter wasn't much help. She said she was his daughter, but the relationship seemed a bit inappropriate and cosy to me (talking about kissing eachother and the like).
If I would've been on my own I think I would have called the police and watched from a distance to see what happened. I would check to see if he was OK though. Yeah it may have been self inflicted but just because it was self inflicted unfortunately doesn't mean that his state couldn't be dangerous. Acute alcohol intoxication can be very dangerous and you can die from it. Also, it could be a drug overdose, you can't know for sure.
Some people who are diabetic/epileptic etc can react even worse than normal to alcohol too, so you'd really have to keep an eye on the person. If they weren't being cooperative with me, I'd call the police as wouldn't want to risk my own safety. I wouldn't leave until the police came though would stay nearby and keep an eye out, because I wouldn't want someone to leave me like that (not that I would ever get in that state, but hypothetically).
You and your DH did the right thing. I'm glad he's alright.
Lucky for me in the situation above I had my male friend with me and I know a fair bit of first aid to gather he was going to be OK, albeit not in the best of moods the next morning. However, if he was acting confused I would've called an ambulance as just because there isn't blood doesn't mean that there isn't an internal injury.

Original poster
FrenchRuby · 11/08/2013 16:32

foreverhot that's just awful :( poor woman.

OP posts:
Lweji · 11/08/2013 16:35

I have always stopped and helped people in trouble on the street, or wherever, also because I have a decent knowledge of first aid.

If I was alone at night I would instead ring 999 to report the man on the pavement rather than go and help him myself, in case it was a set up.

Thumbwitch · 11/08/2013 16:42

I've just remembered one:
I was in my car waiting for the level crossing barriers to open, many cars in front of me. Something flew past and over my car - turned out it was a schoolgirl, who landed behind my car. She'd been crossing the road about 3 cars ahead, had been hit by the first car through the now-open level crossing (I saw the shattered windscreen and the Shock faces of the driver and passenger as they went by). Of course I got out to help the girl, as did the people in the van behind me (she'd landed between us) - but the cars in front of me all bloody well drove off, despite having been nearer the accident and they MUST have seen it!! Angry
I stayed until the ambulance came; a teacher from her school was a few cars behind where she was lying and he stayed too; the van driver left a blanket for her and made sure others were looking after her and then left but everyone else just drove on. I suppose there is an element of "oh someone else has that covered so I don't need to" but it was quite shocking to me.

Lucky for her, despite being knocked unconscious, she only had a broken thigh (bad enough but could have been much worse).

babybythesea · 11/08/2013 16:44

I have read something about this recently - trying desperately to remember where.

If you are on your own, and you are driving, and you see someone apparently collapsed by the side of the road, it might be a scam.
Tends to be roads which aren't so busy, especially if there are woodlands etc nearby where others can hide.

Apparently it is being used as a way to lure people out of their cars, so the car can be stolen. A couple of women have also been raped.

The advice is to drive on a short way, then stop and phone for help, but not to stop next to the collapsed person just in case.

Obviously if you are walking in the middle of a busy street it doesn't apply!

Earthworms · 11/08/2013 16:59

When I was a teenager, I went through a phase of having odd sort of fainting fits. I was usually conscious when one happened, but unable to stand, or say much. Grew out of them in a few months. I suspect it was low blood sugar or something.

I remember collapsing in the Main Street of out local town, and people tutting as they stepped over me.

In the 20 minutes it took me to come round, ONE person asked if I was ok. Foolishly I said yes I'm ok, as you do when you don't want fuss, so off he went?!

wanderings · 11/08/2013 17:13

If I stop to help someone (which I have done), I take care to stay very very aware of what else is happening around me.

Very sadly, we live in an age where we have to watch our own backs all the time.

It's not unheard of for a cunning thief to "play injured". While a passing good citizen stops, bends over the "victim" to check if they are breathing, they are vulnerable to being ambushed and robbed by the "victim's" hiding accomplices, some of whom are bound to check if the good Samaritan has left their keys in the ignition, or if they've left a handbag on the floor of their unlocked car...

It does happen.

It's very unlikely of course, but I daresay that fear of this kind of attack is one reason why somebody might not stop to help, especially in a rough area.

Maybe it's not a comparable example, but there's a very good reason why many of us will completely ignore some poor person who emails or calls us with sob stories, asking us to send money abroad for them.

Good Samaritans, look after yourselves, and stay alert if you do go to someone's aid!

WestieMamma · 11/08/2013 17:15

Please do tell how you assess whether someone is drunk or diabetic?

I can't, I'd leave that up to those that can. Fact is though that I have learnt the hard way that drunks can be violent and dangerous and the first thing you learn in first aid training is 'don't put yourself in danger'.

GameSetAndMatch · 11/08/2013 17:22

i think its a fear. its a well known scam that gangs do, that someone pretends to be hurt and when you go to help then you're pickpocketed or set upon.

these days everyones got a phone so if i saw someone on the floor seemingly frunk or something id call 101 and hang around nearby to see if theyre helped.

a friend had it done to them. they went to help a teenage (late teens) girl who was crying collapsed on the floor (in broad daylight) and she was set upon by the girls gang who were hiding behind some bins. luckily my friend was helped as there were witnesses and she managed to get away.

OfficerMeow · 11/08/2013 17:25

There was a homeless person not moving looking completely asleep on the floor in Birmingham, people were walking past, some even taking pictures of him. I didn't approach him but did seek out police officers who then went to check we was OK. I always stop and check, imagine that was your friend, son, daughter, auntie, mum, dad, uncle, would you walk the other way?

AlyssB · 11/08/2013 17:26

earthworm you have just reminded me about the time I collapsed on the bus on my way to work one morning (turned out I was anaemic, but naturally so pale went unnoticed till this!) I can round to several people from the bus trying to look after me and the bus driver on the phone to the ambulance. I turned down the ambulance out of embarrassment and a lovely old lady bought me a very sugary tea when I got off the bus. I feel very lucky that all those people checked I was ok.

Saffyz · 11/08/2013 17:35

Even if you don't feel it's safe to approach the person, it's a good idea to phone for help. I'm not sure if 101 or 999 is best, but at least phone the police. It may be someone who's drunk and will recover of their own accord, or it may be someone who's drunk and in danger, or it might be someone who's had a heart attack, in a diabetic coma or had an epileptic fit etc. I know if I collapsed I'd want someone to call for help, wouldn't we all?

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