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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder whether to go ahead with birthday party here after tragic accident?

29 replies

SchrodingersFanny · 10/08/2013 19:01

We were going to have my ds 4th birthday at a farm with play barn. Part of package is a tour of farm etc when other visitors have gone home.

Then today I see this in the news

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-23645714

Dh thinks it would be OK, but a little concerned. My mum thinks we should cancel as we are responsible for other people's children.

What do you think?

OP posts:
picnicbasketcase · 10/08/2013 19:02

At the same place? Or somewhere similar?

Picturesinthefirelight · 10/08/2013 19:03

Is it the same farm? If it isn't and you don't know anyone involved then go ahead.

Original poster
SchrodingersFanny · 10/08/2013 19:03

The same place.

OP posts:
WestieMamma · 10/08/2013 19:03

Tragic as it is, it didn't happen in the visitors area but in the working part of the farm. I'd go ahead with the party.

SofiaVagueara · 10/08/2013 19:04

That's a tough one. You think lightening doesn't strike twice but at the same time if someone was driving a tractor round the farm drunk one might suspect that the problem at this place are slightly deeper rooted than just the circumstances surrounding this particular tragedy. I think I would be tempted to cancel.

Montybojangles · 10/08/2013 19:06

It happened on the working part of the farm it says, not the Visitor side. And it doesn't really explain the situation. I would imagine it would be closed if there was any risk to the public. It doesn't say the boy was a paying visitor, so I imagine he was there with family/friends on the actual farm itself.

Original poster
SchrodingersFanny · 10/08/2013 19:06

I'm also concerned about what their parents might think. My initial reaction was to carry on, but then my mum pointed out how other mums might feel.

OP posts:
ChippingInHopHopHop · 10/08/2013 19:06

There wont be anywhere safer after this :(

My heart goes out to the little boys family.

When are you due to have the party?

How upset would your DS be to have the plans changed?

JustBecauseICan · 10/08/2013 19:07

Is this the accident that happened today?

I'd imagine they'll be closing the place down for an investigation anyway, so you may not have to decide.

A lot of parents might not send their children to the party tbh if you do go ahead (and have the choice to do so)

expatinscotland · 10/08/2013 19:07

The farm might still be closed.

Original poster
SchrodingersFanny · 10/08/2013 19:07

Party is for 3 weeks time. He doesn't know specifics yet, so it wouldn't be a big deal.

I'll think on it, maybe see if any parents mention it.

OP posts:
PrettyKitty1986 · 10/08/2013 19:09

If the parents will be coming then go ahead.

If you will have charge of x amounts of 4 year olds then cancel. I would be reluctant to let mine go after that tbh.

Moetlovermuvver · 10/08/2013 19:10

I'd want to know a few more details. The report mentions it took place on a working part of the farm and so I'd presume that the young boy wasn't a paying visitor and also the person arrested has been charged with suspicion of drinking and driving and causing death by dangerous driving.

TBH, I'd ask the other mums of your circle and see how they feel. I understand the sadness but also life goes on.

SueDoku · 10/08/2013 19:16

Little boy's Mum works at the farm (according to BBC News) and had taken him in to work with her... Sad

As long as the farm is open, I would go ahead - the owners will be paranoid about H & S.

Emilythornesbff · 10/08/2013 19:22

Oh that's so terribly sad. Poor boy. His poor mother and family.
How awful.
I would cancel. Just because that is so sad.

FloweryOwl · 10/08/2013 19:26

I was there the other week, its tragic. Poor boy x

I think it should be fine to still have it there with it not happening in the visitors area. If you don't want to have it there then there is Ponderosa Farm in Heckmondwike?

ChippingInHopHopHop · 10/08/2013 19:37

If one of mine was coming to your party, it wouldn't stop me letting him/her go. This could have just as easily been on a farm next door, it has nothing to do with the visitor side of things and it's a shame that people will stop going when it's not anything to do with that side of things.

That poor woman :(

shockers · 10/08/2013 19:41

Could you text or phone a few of the parents that you know best and see what they think?

Personally, I wouldn't be worried about H&S. I'd feel a bit funny about having a happy time in a place that has recently experienced such sadness. That is a purely personal view though, I certainly wouldn't judge anyone for thinking differently.

Hissy · 10/08/2013 19:41

Do you have any close mum friends of the invited children, what about asking them this week what they think, and maybe come up with a back up plan.

frogwatcher42 · 10/08/2013 19:44

Unfortunately it will be like eating in a restaurant that has just been prosecuted for rats - it is likely it will be the cleanest place around.

After this awful, tragic accident HSE will be all over them. It is likely it will be the safest place around.

JambalayaCodfishPie · 10/08/2013 19:45

I wouldn't have my party there. It's too soon. It's a party. Where a child just died. Would feel wrong.

frogwatcher42 · 10/08/2013 19:45

That didn't make a lot of sense!!! What I meant is that it would be normal after a prosecution or accident etc, that the place becomes super at doing what it did badly. I.e. it will become pretty safe!

SofiaVagueara · 10/08/2013 19:47

Wouldn't anyone question the wisdom of a location that let their staff work pissed though? Or was lacksadasical enough not to notice someone was operating a really heavy dangerous piece of machinery while in drink?

LynetteScavo · 10/08/2013 19:50

The farm may not be open. Smile

If it is, it will be safer than ever before.

It think the question is how do other parents feel about it? They may feel they would rather politely decline, which would be sad for your DC.

Gruntfuttocks · 10/08/2013 19:51

I wouldn't and I'm pretty sure some of the other parents won't want their children going there. Sorry.