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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Oprah may be being a little inflammatory?

207 replies

fackinell · 09/08/2013 17:15

I very much admire Oprah Winfrey but I'm a little concerned by the news that she think the incident with the handbag in Switzerland may have been racially motivated.

IMO everyone is equal based solely on their actions so prepared to be told I am U. I can be a bit of a scruff and on a few occasions have been informed that something is out of my price range. I am white, British, 40 something and put it down to snobbery of the assistant involved, making a snap judgement on me.

I feel Oprah's comments could invoke a bit of animosity the (hopefully) calming race division. With each generation the former issues seem to be diluting (I haven't heard a racist comment in anyone under 40 for years.) isn't this just stirring trouble where there may not necessary be any?

OP posts:
SauceForTheGander · 09/08/2013 21:10

Yes Hearts! To both those points. That's what I said!

I'd be pissed off of I was Tom Ford. I thought it was the Tom Ford shop after watching BBC news.

It was so blatantly racist and I can't understand how it's not obvious to everyone.

forehead · 09/08/2013 21:19

Only a fool judges with their eyes .The shop assistant is definitely a fool.
It is obvious that the shop assistant assumed that Oprah Winfrey could not afford the bag. Oprah had the double whammy of being both BLACK and OVERWEIGHT
Anyone who thinks that this wasn't a case of racism is in denial

SauceForTheGander · 09/08/2013 21:24

So it was Tom Ford shop?

. I can't imagine the gorgeous and brilliant American Tom Ford will be able to ignore his staff's behaviour.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 09/08/2013 21:26

OP: AIBU - I haven't had any experiences of racism from under 40s.

Many other posters: "recent experiences of racism"

OP: la la la la la you're making it up.

There is one person being inflammatory here and it's not Oprah

namechangesforthehardstuff · 09/08/2013 21:28

And she was NOT wearing leisurewear! She said she was wearing nice DK and shoes. FFS! Am starting to wonder if some people just can't imagine a black woman in designer clothes...

Roshbegosh · 09/08/2013 21:29

justshabby No I don't just know it, I think it could have been part of it but you know being fat is like leprosy in those places. I love Oprah and am so sorry she isn't doing her show anymore, she behaved with complete dignity and grace as she always does but who can say what was in the shop assistant's mind? My assumption is not at all stupid and it is not an assumption in any case, I am saying we really can't be sure.

Gunznroses · 09/08/2013 21:39

What really baffles me is how someone who isn't an ethnic minority can make a bold statement that in their opinion everyone is treated equally, how would you know? and think that just because they haven't heard any racist comments from anyone under 40, in yrs therefore believes racism is almost non existent.

Has it occurred to you that this is probably because you are white?

coffeeinbed · 09/08/2013 21:39

Yeah, the misunderstanding bit. Hmm
A shop, a bag, a woman in the shop who wants to see it.
So many possibilities......

holidaybug · 09/08/2013 21:40

I'd always have given Oprah more credit though than checking out at $42,000 dollar handbag - surely that's too expensive for any intelligent person

AnotherStitchInTime · 09/08/2013 21:52

Inflammatory! Shock

YABVU, Oprah has been around long enough as a black person to recognise racism when she sees it.

Are you aware that minimising someone else's experience of racism is in fact racist in itself? Albeit indirect, by not acknowledging it you collude. It is the same as minimising in cases of abuse, victim blaming.

Since I have been with DH I have witnessed over 20 racist incidents either directed at him or someone else and I live in a very multi-cultural area of London. That is just a fraction of the racism he has experienced or witnessed in his life, from people of all ages. He has had monkey noises made towards him and bananas thrown at him by people under 25. Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Southeastdweller · 09/08/2013 22:00

You're being very naive and perhaps live under a rock. Racism is almost everywhere, covertly or otherwise.

meditrina · 09/08/2013 22:02

£38k for a handbag? Now that's obscene.

I suspect there was stereoptyping going on.

And also an expectation that Europeans all speak English.

limitedperiodonly · 09/08/2013 22:03

I'm English and white. I've never been to Zurich.

However, I've spent a lot of time in luxury shops in Italy, which is where the assistant came from, though distressingly don't have Oprah's money.

IME some Italians can be a little judgemental about black people (cough), as can many white people from various European countries and pale-skinned Asians or Arabs.

I have direct experience of continental Western, Eastern and Central European, Asian and Arab shop workers and they do not have a good attitude to black people from any country.

I'm going to stick my neck on the line and say British cities are a good place to be if you're black. I've not noticed this attitude in London, but like I've said, I'm white and am not looking out for it.

If you're black and I'm wrong, pile in and tell me I'm talking out of the back of my neck. Probably I am, but it's a start, isn't it?

Oprah was right and what's really pissing me off is the refrain that the assistant didn't recognise her or it's just an issue about snootiness. That's not the fucking point.

Gunznroses · 09/08/2013 22:24

What really baffles me is how someone who isn't an ethnic minority can make a bold statement that in their opinion everyone is treated equally, how would you know? and think that just because they haven't heard any racist comments from anyone under 40, in yrs therefore believes racism is almost non existent.

Has it occurred to you that this is probably because you are white?

Gunznroses · 09/08/2013 22:26

Posted Same post twice in error.

SunshineBossaNova · 09/08/2013 22:31

YABU OP.

I was blissfully unaware of racism in my home town, until I had a Chinese boyfriend and saw the way he was treated.

Like others have said, Oprah is in a much better position than you to judge whether she was experiencing racism or not.

You might find this article about white privilege interesting.

MmeLindor · 09/08/2013 22:38

re the 'misunderstanding', the shop stated that that the bag in question is kept upstairs and the shop assistant meant to say that Oprah would have to go there to see the bag

Oprah didn't want to, and left.

Justshabbynochic · 09/08/2013 22:42

I don't think we can judge on her choice to be interested in a $42,000 handbag.

  1. She gives away millions to good causes.
  1. It's a drop in the hat considering her worth.
  1. She has earned the right to have what she wants, she's worked hard for it.
  1. It's like owning a piece of jewellery or nice car. She's hardly the first celebrity to treat themselves to something expensive.
RedPencils · 09/08/2013 22:53

Nobody is judging her in her choice of handbag. If I was a billionaire I wouldn't be making do with a £15 clearance bag from H&M.

She has just tweeted this.

. @Oprah: .@NancyODell Turns out that store clerk did me a favor. Just found out that bag was $38K!!! She was right I was NOT going to buy it.

Justshabbynochic · 09/08/2013 23:10

RedPencils, someone upthread said they didn't think Oprah, or an "intelligent person" would ever be interested in that expensive of a bag, hence my thinking they were being slightly judgy on her choice.

Apologies if I got that wrong though!

namechangesforthehardstuff · 09/08/2013 23:16

Sunshine thanks for that link. Really disturbing list Sad

namechangesforthehardstuff · 09/08/2013 23:19

That shop assistant has really weird language skills. She meant to say 'please accompany me upstairs' and it came out as 'you can't afford this bag'. I'd be asking for my money back from that language school.

fackinell · 09/08/2013 23:20

Not been hiding, I had company. Will try and remember all questions asked of me.

I maintain that in the under 40s I have not heard a recent racist comment. Perhaps that's luck, the fact I am known to be intolerant towards intolerance or the fact that I had an English BF of Caribbean descent, for five years. I'm not saying it doesn't exist, I am saying I haven't recently experienced it, which is different.

My OP was, that unless the sales assistant had openly made a comment inferring that Oprah's race was an issue in the handling of the bag, how can she be sure it was race related. It may well be but I would dearly love for everyone to be treated as equals, in my sad little Pollyanna, rose tinted spectacled world.

I did say I was happy to be told I was U, but not to be attacked verbally. I was in no way being inflammatory myself, I am genuinely interested in what people think.

MrsDeVere, yes it was English people that called me a sweaty sock. That in no way belittles the experiences of any horrific treatment of any other race group but does give me some insight of what it's like to be seem in a certain light because of my race. This doesn't blow what I said out of the water, like one poster said, you don't have to be Scottish/black/Asian/E. European to hear/see someone being slated because of where they are from, is all. All I meant was that if someone hasn't heard the phrase (and I'm very surprised you haven't) that it may be that you either aren't Scottish or have any Scottish friends or relatives. After a friendly chat with someone in a London pub who wanted to know my opinion on Scottish independence (against fwiw) and we had got into a convo about Scotland's USPs. I was told by a bystander that if Scotland is so great why don't you fuck off home, you sweaty, and stop stealing jobs down here that can go to the English. Charming man!!!

Why do I think Oprah wasn't shown the bag? It COULD have been racially motivated but it could be that the sales assistant was an idiot and a snob/ Oprah was acting in a nonchalant, just browsing manner/ the SA had never heard of Donna Karan, it was closing time and she wanted to go home/ on a crucial part of solving her level on Candy Crush. Who the fuck knows!! I didn't think the Richmond Hill snooty cow had dissed me because I was Scottish, but she did treat me like a piece of shit. It may be because I'm Scottish but I will never know, and despite being Scottish all my life, I'm not aware of the fact that people have misconceptions of me due to that fact unless they tell me so.

OP posts:
namechangesforthehardstuff · 09/08/2013 23:26

Maybe you haven't heard any racist comments BECAUSE YOU'RE WHITE.

namechangesforthehardstuff · 09/08/2013 23:30

And seriously your OP basically says that she should STFU and not be inflammatory because things aren't as bad as they used to be. If that's not offensive what is?