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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think women should not have to wear a bra when answering door to postman

71 replies

pookeyspartner · 08/08/2013 21:01

This is following on from armpit thread.

My lovely wife, saggy or not so saggy that is not a question, insists I go to the front door if the milkman, postman, chugger or deliver man knocks when she is braless (but wearing clothes obvs). She never goes to the local shops or anywhere in public without being fettered. I am a person who feels that the human body with hair or without hair, bra or without bra is fine, but like mr Tummnus do we not have a responsibility, not just to our children but to society as a whole, that the human body is natural and shouldn't have to be shaved, hoicked or implanted?

Am I alone in thinking its all a bit fake?

OP posts:

Meringue33 · 08/08/2013 21:38

Our postie has seen it all since LO was born 7 mo ago.

After a few instances he made the sensible decision to put parcels in the porch and sign for them himself.

BaronessTeapot · 08/08/2013 21:46

I have small boobs so only wear a bra for warmth . I have no problem going bra-less but can understand why some women would feel uncomfortable.

PigeonPie · 08/08/2013 22:00

OP I think YANBU.

Having read quite a bit about the subject, I think that bras are a way of hiding what is natural and that actually it's modern/20th century attitudes which insist that women conform. Corsets severely damaged women and I don't think that bras are actually much better.

I have found this website brafree.org

I have recently had a great deal of pain while wearing a bra (and yes they do fit properly) and decided that I was going to try without for a while (and I'm not 'small). I am so much more comfortable.

Breasts will get stronger and more comfortable / stronger in time if you take the bra off - the muscles which haven't worked for years because they have been 'supported' will start to work for themselves.

Original poster

pookeyspartner · 08/08/2013 22:40

Pigeon pie that's really interesting - I think bras are a way of controlling and conditioning women to be something they can't live up to and reinforces insecurities. I believe its about being natural and comfortable whether that's with or without a bra.

OP posts:

MrsMongoose · 08/08/2013 22:52

I answered the door to the postman naked once I thought it was DH!

Xihha · 08/08/2013 23:42

I feel really uncomfortable not wearing a bra, not because of what i look like but because it's uncomfy (large boobs, and saggy having breastfed) so I tend to put a bra on as soon as i wake up. I have answered the door with no bra on when i've just got out the bath though.

EBearhug · 08/08/2013 23:49

I think I'm doing well to remember to have put any clothes on, if the doorbell goes early, though these days, the post doesn't come till lunchtime/afternoon, so it's likely to be another delivery company if it's early.

I haven't worn a bra this week, as I had a spot on my side, which wasn't healing with the bra round it, as the back strap was sitting right on it. Not that there's actually been many other people in the office to notice or not, but tough if they're bothered. I have small breasts, though - my sister wouldn't be able to go braless. We got a very uneven balance of breast genes.

BrokenSunglasses · 08/08/2013 23:59

I don't like answering the door braless if in only wearing a thin tshirt or vest top, my boobs just ain't pert enough for that to be pretty any more. It would be fine if I was being a slob in a hoody which is more likely to be the only time it would happen anyway.

SummerHoliDidi · 09/08/2013 00:01

I don't go braless at all other than in bed. I feel very uncomfortable if I don't have a bra on. My sil on the other hand takes her bra off as soon as she arrives home from work, is happy to go shopping braless, etc and she's even bigger than me. I think it's a bit of a confidence thing.

ouryve · 09/08/2013 00:03

I hate answering the door or going out to the bin braless. I'm always worried I'll trip over them :o

SupermansBigRedPants · 09/08/2013 00:09

I hate wearing bras so don't unless I'm going further than the co-op across the road - I'm not small of breast nor perky - but couldn't give a shiny answering the door bra less. I've usually been bra less and in a nightie and answered to posties, couriers, takeaway delivery drivers, random chuggers.. everyone except df's family as tbey are a bunch if judgemental tits who'd talk about me for 15 years

Rummikub · 09/08/2013 00:10

I went to work without my bra once (might have been twice) because I got ready in the wrong order. I hate wearing a bra and don't think my boobs have suffered too much and will answer the door bra less too. Though if my hair is a mess I won't answer the door.

ClartyCarol · 09/08/2013 00:11

PigeonPie - I don't think that's true. You can strengthen the pectoral muscle on the chest wall, but if the ligaments and structures of the breast itself have been stretched and unsupported then you're not going to have perky breasts.

Think of photos of tribal women in Africa who are bra-free every day.

jimijack · 09/08/2013 00:16

Well, at the very least I advise tucking offending articles into the waist band of one's pyjamas.

Been there, one hanging out, a cool breeze whipping around exposed bussom after extracting a breast feeding 8 week old to sign for a parcel.

Not pretty.

TheSecondComing · 09/08/2013 00:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheYoniWayIsUp · 09/08/2013 01:52

I think some of you jumped on the OP unnecessarily because he's a man.

I read it that he thinks his wife is perfect as she is- bra or no bra- and doesn't her to worry about how she looks.

OP, I agree with you. We shouldn't feel we have to dress differently too answer the door.

trinity0097 · 09/08/2013 06:53

I have answered the door in my cycling shorts and vest top, no bra, and I am a 38g size 20, tough luck if the delivery driver didn't like what he saw! I only go bra less out though if I am popping to the shops and have a baggy fleece on!

Hulababy · 09/08/2013 07:01

I often go without especially in the summer. When on holiday in little strappy tops even more so.

ipswichwitch · 09/08/2013 07:07

It's not often I'll be caught braless (except early in the morning, but that's because I don't like my boobs jiggling about in other people's faces. They take on a life all of their own when not restrained in a bra

3birthdaybunnies · 09/08/2013 07:08

Answering the door while feeding a baby is guaranteed to get rid of unwated visitors, fact. I would answer the door without a bra if otherwise dressed, but then I happy to go out without make up and other women won't. Her body, her choice.

SanityClause · 09/08/2013 07:08

You are right that women shouldn't feel they have to wear a bra to answer the door.

But, your wife does feel this, and dismissing her feelings is unfair.

nooka · 09/08/2013 07:22

I pretty much never wear a bra. I went on one of the MN bra threads and was told to try a different size, and in the store it certainly fit better, but by the time I got home I hated it, so it's been in the cupboard ever since.

I do have an embarrassing postman story though. We had some new venetian type blinds fitted and thinking they would prevent me being seen went to the door to pick up the post naked. A couple of days later I bumped into the postie, who told me I looked great but the blind might not be achieving quite what I had thought He was a lovely postie (and given that post baby no2 I did not look great I thought him very kind to say so!)

fluffyraggies · 09/08/2013 07:38

I'll second that about boobs having no muscles of their own. (i am a trained bra fitter and know about the anatomy of boobs) It IS only the pectorals underneath the breast that is muscle tissue, the breast is fat and breast tissue. They wont get any 'stronger' from letting your boobs swing free. Why would they?? Breast enhancing exercises will enlarge the pectorals, thereby making the boobs seem bigger. That's really the only link with breasts size and pectorals.

With large breasts going bra'less just gradually stretches the ligaments further and further. No going back up once they're down sadly

I have big boobs and will only go a couple of hours in the morning or evening maximum bra'less. I can feel gravity having it's evil way and i don't want saggy boobs.

I will answer the door bra'less, but only if i'm in my dressing gown.

Whothefuckfarted · 09/08/2013 07:46

I am not a bra fan, I'm not massively top heavy though so I can get away with it. Any dresses/tops that would show bra straps normally give me a good excuse not to wear one. When I do wear one out and about as soon as I get home I remove it.

I will answer the door (fully clothed obvs) without. Doesn't bother me.

EatingAllTheCrumpets · 09/08/2013 07:51

I am never not in a bra, I don't understand this removing if bras. I've never felt the need to remove my bra at any stage. I have "comfy" bras for lounging in and sleeping in, but I've not been bra-less since I was at school.

However if your DW doesn't want to answer the door without a bra on then she doesn't have to. I don't open the door unless I have my face on . And I certainly don't go out without make up on!

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