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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have (or at least push for) an elective c-section?

74 replies

sandwichyear · 08/08/2013 14:34

This is not about allocation of NHS funds btw as we live abroad.

I got bad 3rd degree tears from my first birth which I found pretty traumatic and took months to heal. I had PND and I think this really contributed. At the time I couldn't believe how people would talk about natural birth, and how they were up and about the same day. I was in horrific pain, could hardly walk, my pelvic floor was shot to pieces and sex was horribly painful for at least a year. This was with a 7.5lb baby. I generally have a high pain tolerance (did the entire labour/ birth without drugs for eg)

I've had several scans this latest pregnancy for other complications and have been told this baby is huge (will probably be over 10lbs) I know these measurements are inaccurate, but still, I'm terrified of giving birth again naturally and would love a planned C-section. I don't want to be in terrible pain/ incontinent/ have my sex life ruined etc AIBU? I know people keep saying how it's major surgery and the recovery is awful, but I also know lots of people who have recovered more easily from their c-section than I did from my natural birth. Am I just being naive?

OP posts:

jessieagain · 08/08/2013 21:37

Yanbu and you don't need to justify your reasons to anyone. If you have the choice do what you want.

motownmover · 08/08/2013 21:49

Don't know if it helps - had very bad 3rd degree tear with first. Lost lots of blood - very weak and sick and major issues (no sex).

Was advised to try naturally again.

I tore again - 3rd degree pph and all the works - I'm still getting help.

I can not exercise properly and it is very restrictive.

I wish I had an ECS but who knows?

Coffeenowplease · 08/08/2013 21:57

I wouldnt think YABU even if you came on here and said "Actually I dont want to give birth vaginally, I wasnt a C section AIBU ?"

Your body, your baby, your choice.

Sleepyhead33 · 08/08/2013 22:25

Coffeeenowplease-you are of course completely right IMO.

Coffeenowplease · 08/08/2013 22:27

Oh I do like hearing that . Heres me being so wise when I do not even have DC yet !

Lovethesea · 08/08/2013 22:37

DC1 was high rotational emergency forceps leading to bladder damage, nerve damage and lifelong issues.

DC2 was an ELCS and both DC2 and I were safer for it. I had a gut feeling DC2 would get stuck the same as DC1 did. I plan no more children so had no concerns about future pregnancies.

The ELCS was no walk in the park and I researched risks carefully. For me with previous damage it protected some areas and lowered my risks of worsening incontinence and double incontinence. I felt it the safer option for the baby and my longterm mental and physical health.

Compared to an awful traumatic first birth the ELCS was enjoyable, pain free, easy to recover from, and I have never regretted that choice.

DC1 required a lot of checks, had her heartrate crash and was an emergency arrival after wrong diagnosis of position and a 6 hour second stage.

DC2 came out yelling, healthy and calmed upon hearing my voice. I had skin to skin that I never got with DC1, I fed in recovery, I was not in shock as the first birth.

Best wishes for it, I know others who were told a second birth would be easier and then tore again so badly they have permanent incontinence issues from it.

If you have ongoing symptoms the research seemed to say avoid vaginal birth.

TillySwat · 08/08/2013 22:38

I had a 3rd degree tear with dd 1 and at a meeting with consultant at about 30wks with dd2 I was offered a c section. The NICE guidelines state this should be offered. I was told that the chances of tearing again are not much higher but a higher chance of a 'bad' tear. I had a wonderful elective c section where the recovery was miles easier than the difficult 3rd degree tear labor! All the best.

colleysmill · 08/08/2013 22:39

I had an em csection first time round complete with gaping infected wound and daily visits to have it dressed.

However I don't scar well at all. It's always funny and you can still clearly see every scar I've ever had. I have politely but firmly said I want a section this time round. Gaping scar on my stomach I can cope with, bad scarring downstairs I can not.

Catnap26 · 08/08/2013 22:42

Both mine were planned C-sections and I don't regret it one bit, I was nice and calm and organised and because of that the recovery was far easier than people I know who have gone into labour and had to have a C-section anyway.

Shaky · 08/08/2013 22:47

Hi there, I am a community midwife and I completely understand your concerns. I suggest that you have a discussion with your consultant to discuss your options. If you ask for a C/S and are fully informed of the pros and cons, they will probably agree. I appreciate that this is a difficult decision to make.

I have looked after several ladies who have had 3rd degree tears and are understandably anxious about what will happen in subsequent births.

I have met ladies who have had 3rd degree tears and

a) only 2nd degree tears next time round

b) opted for elective C/S as the previous 3rd degree tear had affected their physical and mental health

c) had another 3rd degree tear for the second time

It is a very personal decision and there is no guarantee that you will or will not tear again. The day they give us a crystal ball and X-ray goggles will be a happy day for the NHS!

I suggest sitting down with a pen and paper and writing down your options and weighing up the pros and cons and take it with you to your next appointment. It is YOUR body, YOUR health and most importantly YOUR decision. Your consultant should respect your decision.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and birth, I hope all goes well.

Notcontent · 08/08/2013 22:49

You hear some horror stories about emergency c sections but they are really a completely different thing.

Sure there is some risk associated with an elective c section but that risk is very low.

I had one and it was lovely. Very quick recovery. And my scar is almost invisible. Only I can tell it's there. No overhang or anything like that.

purplewoofer · 08/08/2013 23:48

My pfb is 14 weeks. My labour lasted three days and I was cut and he was plungered out. He had the cord around his neck and this was cut before the rest of him came out. Thankfully he is healthy and happy.

The stitches came undone and got infected which sent me back to hospital overnight when he was a week old. Could not sit comfortably for months and is sore to the touch now. Has not healed properly and may have to have the excess burned off (cant remember the medical term). The thought if going through that again is putting me off another child.

When I spoke to the midwife about his and how I thought a c section might be easier for the next one, she was
Very off with me and just said that a section would limit the number of children I could have (that is really not an issue!!)

FloweryOwl · 08/08/2013 23:57

Yanbu. It is pretty scary with consequent pregnancies after a bad experience with your first. I tore really badly inside and out with dc1, she was back to back and in an awkward position with elbows etc.. she was born in an ambulance on the way to hospital and I suffered for months afterward, my tear kept splitting open on the loo and stuff! She was on 7.7.

When I was expecting number two I was shitting myself, I really really wanted a c-section but I ended up changing my mind because I'm terrified of any sort of surgery. even though he was 9.11 he was in a much better position and even though I tore again it was nowhere near as bad and I got away with only a couple of stitches.

mumofweeboys · 08/08/2013 23:59

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2613254/#
Check out something called a natural c section. Read a ladies blog and it sounded just a lovely as straight forawrd natural birrh

Notcontent · 09/08/2013 00:02

Purplewoofer - don't let the midwife's prejudices put you off! That may be an issue if you are planning to have 7 children but I am sure you are not. It's perfectly safe to have 3 c sections.

Original poster

sandwichyear · 09/08/2013 01:44

thanks so much everyone.
shaky thanks v much for your professional input- makes me feel like I'm not asking for something outlandish and crazy!
Birth can get so weirdly political that it's lovely to hear so many people being so kind and supportive.

OP posts:

embracethemuffintop · 09/08/2013 07:02

I can't speak about tears but OP's experience sounds awful- in pain for months! Yikes! I have had 4 c-sections, first was an emergency and the others were elective. The first one I felt like I had been run over by a bus, and my recovery was the longest. It was a good 3 to 4 weeks before I felt normal. The other three was a really mixed bag. One I felt completely fine after 3 days, another after about 9 days, and another after 14 days.

Although recovery from c-sections isn't fun or easy, it isn't for a long time in my experience. However, I have had long-term complications from them. I am booked to have a hysterectomy shortly because my bladder is stuck to my uterus and I have a lot of adhesions and scar tissue, caused by the multiple c-sections - so that is a downside of them.

Amber76 · 09/08/2013 08:30

I have had 2 planned sections, the first due to placenta praevia. Both fantastic experiences, calm and controlled. Soreness afterwards as opposed to pain as such - entirely manageable. Made dinner the day I came home after second one!! Don't know if we'll have a third but would have no hesitation at all about having another section.

MiaowTheCat · 09/08/2013 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flowery · 09/08/2013 08:44

YANBU

I had a hideous delivery with DS1, took days, was horrific and left me in a pretty bad way afterwards.

Had ELCS with DS2, it was wonderful, so civilised, quick, easy and recovery no problem.

Mouserama · 09/08/2013 09:02

I had an emergency c section, and my experience was fine. Yes, it was a bit fraught and rushed (as it was an emergency) and the recovery isn't easy. The first 3-4 weeks after for me were tough, there is no question about that. But after that initial period, the recovery sped up very rapidly and now 8 weeks on, I'm 100% recovered and feel fine (and my pelvic floor is still intact ). If I have another child, I will definitely be pushing for an elective c section. However, as other posters have suggested, everyones experience is different. Good luck with whatever option you choose!

VulvaVoom · 09/08/2013 10:20

I had an EMCS with DD 10 months ago, totally unplanned (obviously!)

So if I did have another I would likely push for (if you'll pardon the pun) an elective CS.

So YANBU as you've done it the other way and don't blame you for not wanting what sounds like a horrific experience again.

Echoing what others have said re CS, I felt fine afterwards and was on my feet within 6 hours, no pain. I had a bit of anxiety re the stitching/scar but it heals quite quickly - and you have lots else going on to be thinking about!

I have to be fair and say that the woman next to me in hosp also had a CS and seemed to be in a lot of pain. I couldn't understand why but we're all different!

chattychattyboomba · 09/08/2013 10:22

Generally with a baby over 9lbs you are more than entitled to a c-section.
I am considering one for baby number 2 (DD1 was 10.5lbs).
I tore a little, thankfully only 2 stitches, but had other complications including, haemorrhaging, a retained placenta that had to be removed in theatre with an immobile epi (after giving birth to DD without any pain relief) i am not terrified of giving birth to a big baby, pain is pain and i'm sure it would hurt even with a 7lbs coming out...I am terrified of the complications that go with it.

thebody · 09/08/2013 10:30

you should have the absolute right to give birth the way you want to op.

good luck with your choices.

you are defiantly not being unreasonable.

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