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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is it ok for the hairdresser to know i had my sweep?

47 replies

MommyBird · 08/08/2013 10:49

I don't know if IABU or it's abit weird.

Last week i had a sweep (didn't work! Damn!)
anyway, my MIL messaged to ask if there's any signs..my husband told her that i had been booked in for a sweep..she didn't know what one was..so my husband (bless him) explained the best he could. that was that.

Im now very overdue.
had my hair cut today and my hairdresser asked how i was..i mentioned i'd had no twinges and she replied with 'so the sweep didn't work then..'
asked her how she knew and i nearly died. my MIL when texting my husband, had read all the texts out infront of her inlaws family (they're step family to my husband, i have met them only a handful of times and don't know them well at all) and the hairdresser!

Apparently she went into detail..infront of most of the family. i feel so embarrassed!

Is it my hormones!? Or is it abit out of line!?

OP posts:
ICBINEG · 08/08/2013 10:52

A sweep that didn't work? What an absolute surprise...

Back to the point. YANBU.

Sparklingbrook · 08/08/2013 10:53

I think the hairdresser is a bit indiscreet?

Sparklingbrook · 08/08/2013 10:54

My sweep worked. Smile

phantomnamechanger · 08/08/2013 10:54

YANBU !! get the hairdresser to ask HER in a loud voice, "How are your piles this week dear"

Salmotrutta · 08/08/2013 10:55

Totally out of line. Your DH maybe wasnt wise to share too much but did he know she was likely to tell the world and his wife?

I'd have to say something to the MIL.
For example "Oh, I was very taken aback to discover that the hairdresser appeared to know details of my medical procedures. I hope you haven't been telling everyone?"

And the hairdresser should know better than to cross the line - I'd change my hairdresser too.

BatwingsAndButterflies · 08/08/2013 10:56

YANBU, since you are very pregnant you have an excellent excuse for gong mental at her. :o

thebody · 08/08/2013 10:57

good grief!!!! sweeps are pretty outdated really so best refused.

it's all said now so not much you can do about it but think your mil must be very sheltered to not have heard of sweeps!!

to he honest it makes a refreshing change than ' are you out tonight and have you booked tour holiday'

must remember to reply to my hairdresser ' neither I am looking good for my sweep' 😄

good luck op and refuse any other bloody sweeps.

gymboywalton · 08/08/2013 10:58

MY SWEEP WORKED IMMEDIATELY. LITTERALLY-FIDDLE FIDDLE-bam! my baby was born about 5 hours later Smile

Shrugged · 08/08/2013 11:00

I would be suggesting that your MIL kept your obstetric details to herself. Then again, she can't share what she doesn't know, so don't feed her information. She wouldn't read out texts about your piles or eczema, and being pregnant doesn't mean there are suddenly no boundaries.

I stopped responding to texts as my due date came close, and as I am a private individual, am pretty sure that many people in my family have no idea at all that my son was born by c-section, after a non-progressing labour. My nosy SILs thought I was very 'stuck up' not to share every twinge and procedure, but this is simply not my style. I responded to all queries with 'Fine, thanks' and changed the subject.

EasterHoliday · 08/08/2013 11:02

holy cow, I'd go mental. Just make sure your DH doesn't invite her to visit in the hospital, she's sure to get over interested far too early. Arm's length (my MIL insisted on visiting in the hospital long before my own mother did, despite teh fact she lives several hours away and I wish I'd had the nerve to tell her to back off for a few days..)

Original poster
MommyBird · 08/08/2013 11:04

I didn't know if i was being a grumpy overdue pregnant lady or its abit out of line!

I know my hairdresser, she is lovely..i know her better than i do my husbands step family! so knowing the hairdresser better..than i do them...its abit weird. thankfully she was at my house so it wasn't infront of anyone else.

I just feel so embarrassed! I know there is no dignity in child birth and everything that goes with it but eurgh! Its a pretty intimate thing. i just feel they didn't need to know, in such detail. im so happy i don't see them often.

OP posts:
Original poster
MommyBird · 08/08/2013 11:09

Ive spoke to my husband who had no clue, he's rang her and gone pretty mad at her. i don't mind her knowing as my own parents knew what was going on as they had my DD1 for the day.

Im just wondering who else she has told..and in what detail.
If it was just left as 'she's having a sweep' i don't think i'd of minded too much, but the sodding hairdresser knowing!

OP posts:
Gruntfuttock · 08/08/2013 11:19

How did your MIL react to your husband going 'pretty mad at her'?

ComposHat · 08/08/2013 11:20

or is it ok for the hairdresser to know i had my sweep?

There was me thinking this was going to be a juicy story had found out you'd enjoyed sexual congress with someone who'd come round to clean the chimney and the hairdresser had found out about it. But lo and behold it is a pregnancy thread. Rubbish.

YANBU for being angry with MIL

YABU for disappointing me with the lack of salacious material.

oldgrandmama · 08/08/2013 11:22

Sorry, but what exactly is a 'sweep'?

WilsonFrickett · 08/08/2013 11:23

TBH though, most women with children know what a sweep is, so maybe MIL simply said 'Mommy has had a sweep' and left it at that? There would be no need for her to go into the gynacalogical (sp?) details as your hairdresser would probably know?

WilsonFrickett · 08/08/2013 11:23

And there's oldgrandmama to prove me wrong in an excellent x-post Grin.

Gruntfuttock · 08/08/2013 11:27

I'd never heard of a sweep until I started reading mumsnet a couple of months ago and had to Google to find out what it is. Is it possibly a recent procedure or term because although I have had a child, she's 22 now and I'm in my fifties.

Viviennemary · 08/08/2013 11:29

I'd never even heard of a sweep till I came on MN. Still don't know exactly but I suppose it must be something to do with pregnancy. I'd say anything shared with a hairdresser isn't usually a secret. So I'd say if anybody was in the wrong it's your DH. But I'm sure he won't agree with that!

sydlexic · 08/08/2013 11:30

I don't think YABU, everyone has their own level at which they are comfortable sharing. Some would put pictures of it on FB.

I had my tubes clipped and my DMIL discussed it with everyone, she knew because she babysat. I hadn't even told my own DM, no one could understand why I cared.

Pawprint · 08/08/2013 11:31

That was indiscreet of the MIL and the hairdresser.

When I went into labour, my MIL took it upon herself to ring everyone she knew to inform them. I was a bit annoyed as I felt quite private about it.

Gruntfuttock · 08/08/2013 11:36

Viviennemary " I'd say anything shared with a hairdresser isn't usually a secret. So I'd say if anybody was in the wrong it's your DH. But I'm sure he won't agree with that!"

How on earth can you blame the OP's DH when all he did was reply to his mother's text? How is that him sharing with the hairdresser, for goodness' sake?

oldgrandmama · 08/08/2013 11:42

Ah, just Googled it. Never heard of the procedure before. I initially thought, when I started reading the thread, that it might mean an enema. When I gave birth (1968 and 1970) it seemed normal procedure in that women in early labour got a good 'clean out' to stimulate contractions. Also non-negotiable shaves, episiotimies (?spelling) and sewing up afterwards, usually not waiting for the local anaesthetic to take effect first, or saying 'oh, mother, you're NUMB 'down there', so it won't hurt ...' Lying sods!

Original poster
MommyBird · 08/08/2013 11:45

Its a pretty private thing to me, its really not something i'd like the whole world to know.

If it was just her..and she was told 'she's had a sweep' then i wouldn't of minded too much as obviously she's excited about baby coming and wants to be kept updated. i understand that.
But the amount of detail she apparently went into (and how the men reacted)...and infront of people i don't know. I just don't like it.
I feel like abit of an oven. not a woman. just someone whos carrying her grandchild. (maybe thats my hormones)

Husband has told me he's already had a moan at her today regarding coming down to see us (whole other thread) aswell as this. so she's very grumpy and gone in a mood. fabulous.

OP posts:
ICBINEG · 08/08/2013 12:03

Nobody can know that their sweep worked.

You had a sweep and then you went into labour...you can't know the two are connected.

If you are full term then there is a reasonable probability of you having the baby within 5 hours of blowing your nose....

You can know that it didn't though

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