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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

or is it ok for the hairdresser to know i had my sweep?

47 replies

MommyBird · 08/08/2013 10:49

I don't know if IABU or it's abit weird.

Last week i had a sweep (didn't work! Damn!)
anyway, my MIL messaged to ask if there's any signs..my husband told her that i had been booked in for a sweep..she didn't know what one was..so my husband (bless him) explained the best he could. that was that.

Im now very overdue.
had my hair cut today and my hairdresser asked how i was..i mentioned i'd had no twinges and she replied with 'so the sweep didn't work then..'
asked her how she knew and i nearly died. my MIL when texting my husband, had read all the texts out infront of her inlaws family (they're step family to my husband, i have met them only a handful of times and don't know them well at all) and the hairdresser!

Apparently she went into detail..infront of most of the family. i feel so embarrassed!

Is it my hormones!? Or is it abit out of line!?

OP posts:

ICBINEG · 08/08/2013 12:05

mommy no, that is process of childbirth. Everyone from family to HCP's stop seeing you as a person. It is totally shit and it needs to change....

mrsjay · 08/08/2013 12:11

the woman who owns my hairdressers knows my mum she once said out loud in the shop hows your toilet problems I was My mum had told her that i was having a few issues (cheers mum) when they were out drinking I was fuming, anyway YANBU and i hope your baby comes soon

thebody · 08/08/2013 12:30

ICBINEG, totally agree. anyone can say anything worked just before labour starts so curry, sex, long walk etc.

whole lot nicer than a midwife/doc sticking hand in you and messing around. I belive there's no evidence they work either is there?

gymboywalton · 08/08/2013 12:31

so i can't tell that contractions starting as the woman was pulling her gloved hand out of my vagina, was in anyway connected to what she had just done???? really??

ICBINEG · 08/08/2013 12:32

really!

Cheeseatmidnight · 08/08/2013 12:34

Wouldn't bother me at all - I don't find things like that embarrassing and it is just another part of pregnancy / labour to talk about. I am a bit of a TMI person though

thebody · 08/08/2013 12:34

yes if you had a sweep you were due or overdue so contractions were always going to start at some point weren't they? a poo might have done the trick!!

ICBINEG · 08/08/2013 12:36

body they outperform placebo...barely....but we have like a dozen better more effective and less painful ways to initiate labour.

Nice are currently reviewing their use on the basis of the pathetically poor pain to success ratio....

why do we need to stimulate labour anyway?

As an exciting aside, I went into labour the day my sweep was booked...but I didn't attend the appointment because I had looked at the evidence...

So maybe it is booking a sweep that causes labour? Not the actual sweep?

HoneyDragon · 08/08/2013 12:41

Tbf, I don't think your hairdresser was bad, as she sounds as if she were quite matter of fact.

I think your MiL needs to get that she can over share her business as much as she wants. But not yours. Especially when it involves your cervix.

Perhaps remind her that before the midwife went up there her son did, and invite her to share that with the family?

SupermansBigRedPants · 08/08/2013 12:48

I'm 'supposed' to be having a sweep today, not on your life! I had one with my first as I thought it was the done thing and it didn't work. I hate being touched anyway so someone at my foof for no good reason nuh-uh. Plus I don't like my community midwife

Your mils out of order telling all and sundry about intimate procedures - just because they were there she should have shushed no one forced her to go into detail. I'd not be happy.

ICBINEG · 08/08/2013 12:49

good on you super....it really is amazing what they persuade you to put up with the first time around...

poocatcherchampion · 08/08/2013 13:23

I wouldn't care at all, but I know some people are more private. yanbu

thebody · 08/08/2013 13:40

ICBINEG, agree its totally ridiculous for these outdated methods to be routinely practised on pregnant women with little or no degree of success/research.

good on you super. good luck to all pregnant mumsnetters.

SupermansBigRedPants · 08/08/2013 13:53

Thanks, I enjoyed my first pregnancy but since joining MN I see there was a lot of intervention I didn't need at the time. My notes for my last pregnancy and this one both had/have in the birth plan not to touch my nethers unless absolutely necessary instead of what seemed like every half an hour with the first.

Original poster

MommyBird · 08/08/2013 17:34

Argh!
She's told my husband that she didn't tell anyone apart from her MIL which is a lie..as my hairdresser knew, as she mentioned how nobody else in the room knew what one is either and how on earth would my bloody hairdresser know and why would she say my MIL told her.
Now i'm annoyed at the bare faced lie too.

DH had an argument regarding her coming down to see us which has resulted in her going into a mood...so the fact that she's discussed the sweep infront of everyone has taken a back seat. however i'm still really annoyed.

Also. total change of subject. i am booked in for another sweep tomorrow and i'm tempted to decline after what i've read. i will be 41 weeks. is it worth it?

OP posts:

nannynewo · 08/08/2013 18:32

I think YAB a little bit U. A lot of women have a sweep and most people know what it is! I'm 20, never had children and even I know what it is. She may not have gone into detail but just said 'she's having a sweep'.
A few of my family members have had one before it's just a medical procedure like childbirth!

Original poster

MommyBird · 08/08/2013 18:55

If it was 'she's having a sweep' then that was that, i would of been fine with it as its a normal pregnancy thing.

She didn't know what one was and neither did the room full of people..then when my husband told her what it was..she then told the whole room of people..including my hairdresser..what i was having done.
Its not really something i wanted a room full of strangers and my hairdressing knowing.

OP posts:

mrsjay · 08/08/2013 19:00

nanny i think some things are private and not to be shared with the hairdresser,

TBH im not really sure what they do when they are sweeping as i had prem babies so nobody was really faffing about up there

ilovebabytv · 08/08/2013 19:05

So you dont mind that she told people you were having a sweep, just the fact that she explained to people what a sweep was . So if she told someone that knew what a sweep was you'd be annoyed because they would then know what having sweep meant and would know you had underwent that procedure? On that basis YABU.

MrsKoala · 08/08/2013 19:10

It wouldn't bother me personally. I don't see what there is to be private about everyone has a fanny i don't see it as any different to someone saying 'the dr looked in koalas ears' or something. But i know i am different to most in my privacy settings :)

My experience of sweeps is they are foul. I had 2 with DS and they didn't work but caused me so much pain. That and having internals when being induced/in labour were the worst part of my childbirth experience (and it was pretty bad; forceps, tearing, stitches etc). I will never have them again.

Original poster

MommyBird · 08/08/2013 19:15

For my MIL to know i was having a sweep, yes and for her to know what it is, yes.

We didn't know she was with anyone or reading the texts out.

For a room full of strangers to know i'm having a sweep, not really, for them to have no idea what one was..and then have my MIL explain what i was having done, no..let alone having my hairdresser there. someone i didn't really want knowing.
And that she discussed such a personal thing infront of peoole i dont know! It just seems very weird to me.

OP posts:

SwedishHouseMat · 08/08/2013 19:26

Very weird. Your cervix should not be a gossiped about my anyone, let alone your Mil. Some people have no sense of decorum or social boundaries. I also hate the idea that a pregnant women is somehow public property and it's acceptable to discuss her condition as if she isn't in the room.

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