It's hard to have compassion for someone who is so difficult flop pops. However I do feel for my mother she has annihilated so many people from her life it's unbelievable. She is missing out on close relationships with her children and grandchildren, we spend time with her out of a sense of duty not out of wanting to.
At times this makes me feel guilty but then I remember things she has said and done, like when we were younger turning us against extended family by lying about them, discussing private family matters with neighbours then blaming one of her grand kids, listening in on phone calls between her parent in law and their children, banning said phone calls because she didn't like what she heard. Threatening my sibling with a sharp object, wishing me and my family dead, the list goes on and on.
The more attention she gets the more she ups the anti and the same can be said for the less attention she gets. Any event that happens in our family and extended family is turned so she can make it all about her. She speaks out of turn, prys for information and passes it on to whomever will listen adding on bits to make it more salacious. As she gets older the worse it gets.
I think the big difficulty with someone like this is they will not admit to any of their behaviour, they will deny even when faced with facts and turn it back on the person who dares to mention it.
From what I can gather people with personality disorders like narcisst personality rarely seek help as they believe they are right and never ever admit any wrongdoing, they usually present a different side to outsiders than what family see.
Sorry for the long post hth.