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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think we owe it to our DC to let our armpits go feral?

292 replies

ClockWatchingLady · 07/08/2013 10:15

When our kids are little, shouldn't they see that women have body hair (and accept it rather than remove it)?
Once they're in their teens, they'll probably see endless full-body-waxed women online, whether we like it or not.
So while they're little and forming their basic impressions of the female body, shouldn't we stop all this bloody depilation? Whether we feel comfortable with it or not, don't we owe it to the younger generation?

Yours faithfully,
Mr Tumnus

OP posts:
LeBFG · 07/08/2013 20:20

Good point about all our lovely men being hairy and, strangely, not smelly. Perhaps women could, too, not shave and not be smelly?

Littleen · 07/08/2013 20:21

no thanks!!! hairy armpits are not for me :p

LazyFaire · 07/08/2013 20:30

Jux - yes maybe. My mum shaved haer armpits but never her legs. At 13-16 I would blush and cringe if she wore a skirt. Now, I'm sure mostly thanks to her, I have a take-it-or-leave-it attitude. It's definitely for comfort not style.

(But as a teen, not being stylish makes you uncomfortable.)

Splitheadgirl · 07/08/2013 20:43

I shave if I feel like it and don't if I don't. My husband doesn't care at all (he for some reason finds me completely gorgeous whatever) although my children do stand at the shower and stare at me like I am some unheard of or previously-thought-extinct species whenever I am in it. I don't worry about other people really and if they think I am gross or not.

Viviennemary · 07/08/2013 20:54

I don't really agree with this children will think all women should be hairless. After all most men shave their faces or else they'd look like Father Christmas or worse.

KaseyM · 07/08/2013 20:57

I shave because it's social convention. Don't particularly like it but am certainly not brave enough to flout it.

perplexedpirate · 07/08/2013 21:01

I want to grow mine and dye it blue, but I'm a wuss so I'm going to wait until winter.
If I like it, it's coming out, weather-permitting.

MrsKoala · 07/08/2013 21:02

I'm an absolute yeti, so shaving is out for me - it's a bit like painting the forth bridge. I have legs, stomach and undercarriage waxed monthly but rarely bother with underarms. I don't sweat under my arms so don't bother (i don't need deodorant either). So my dc will see me bald and hairy as i wait for the regrowth. My parents think hair on women is disgusting - in fact all of the people from their generation (60s) i know are so much more anti hair than anyone i know from mine (30s). I think underarm hair is quite sexy really. And i love beards and hair on men.

TallulahBetty · 07/08/2013 21:14

No thanks. Everything off below the neck for me. I do it cos I want to, no social/man pressure. Just don't like being hairy.

VileWoman · 07/08/2013 21:55

I thought this was going to be about armpits for august.

I do shave my armpits but keep thinking I should stop, DH doesn't do his after all. I'm very lazy about doing my legs, I don't do them from September to April and really only do them when I'm going to wear a skirt because of the social pressure. I'm lucky that I'm not hairy so I've only done them once a week during this nice weather. Would never do my bikini line and have never plucked my eyebrows, as someone who grew up as a teenager in the hairy 80s hope that the fashion for such extreme hair removal will change back again. After all in the 70s eyebrows were plucked to oblivion and then in the 80s we had Brooke Shields.

Agree that it's important to counteract all the negative media influences about women and girls being judged by their appearance. The DDs have asked about me shaving my legs and I've just said 'some people shave and some people don't. Daddy shaves his face but I don't' and left it at that for the time being (they are only little).

MrsMelons · 07/08/2013 21:56

ICBINEG thank you, my issues have never come from the media, really from dancing and my dance teacher, also from just normal teenage stresses, I just didn't deal with it very well at all. I have to spend a certain amount of time looking after myself otherwise my issues would be worse but I make an extra effort to ensure my DSs do not pick up on it.

I actually get quite cross with my mum if she goes on about what they should or shouldn't eat as I really don't want them to have food issues and I would love them to be happy just being themselves.

Maybe if I was happy just being myself my opinions on other things, such as body hair, would be different?!

Daddoinghisbest · 07/08/2013 22:31

It's not easy for us men either: I'm happy with shaving my face, chest, back and even my head, but count me out of the back, sack and crack wax brigade. Ouch!

MrsMelons · 07/08/2013 22:48

ooh - don't blame you, sounds too painful!

HoikyPoiky · 07/08/2013 22:49

YAB VERY U

I think I owe it to my children to show them it is perfectly OK to shave if you want to.

My Italian DH and one of my DS's would have Denis Healy style eyebrows if they were left to their own devices. It looks a million times better it they are kept in check. Am I meant to tell my son its NOT ok to care! He doesn't give a shit about looking trendy or having fashionable haircuts but he wants to keep his monobrow trained Grin

Likewise, my DDs DON'T wont to support moustaches and the like. Am I meant to tell them its wrong to deny their hirsute'ness or should I just get them the required hair removing stuff and let them get on with it.

It doesn't mean we are obsessed with looking prepubescent. What a ridiculous and deeply insulting idea! It also doesn't mean any of us are obsessed with our looks. It's just normal grooming.

myroomisatip · 07/08/2013 22:53

lol I would love to comment but I have promised myself not to post anything after having two glasses of wine! Grin

Daddoinghisbest · 07/08/2013 22:59

Myroom. Will a third glass tempt you? :-)

ICBINEG · 07/08/2013 23:44

MrsM Maybe if I was happy just being myself my opinions on other things, such as body hair, would be different?!

Maybe, but maybe not. It is more of a social conditioning thing than a self-image-confidence thing....some people feel the societal pressure much more acutely than others regardless of their level of confidence... and that's not to mention the vast swathes that think they came up with the idea that body hair is 'dirty' all by themselves and it had nothing whatsoever to do with the media....

Anyway you sound lovely, and like you are focusing on the bigger issue of food normalcy...so give yourself a break on this one Smile

ICBINEG · 07/08/2013 23:51

By the way I can confirm that female armpit hair will get nice and silky and soft (even nicer than a blokes - although I may be biased)...but it takes a month from the last shave....and there is a horrible bit a few weeks in when it gets scratchy and stinky for a few days....but if you battle through you can abandon deodorant forever pretty much straight after that bit.

I spent so many years shaving weekly and using deodorant and smelling slightly anyway and leaving sweat patches....once I let the hair grow all the problems disappeared. Seriously, you are meant to have armpit hair!

If nature had intended us to have hairless armpits we would have err...in built razors...or um.... no hair growing in our armpits or something.

ItsNotATest · 08/08/2013 00:03

I just don't get the constant angst about body hair on here. If you like it, keep it; if you don't like it, get rid.

Surely personal choice is what you should be emphasising? Along with gentle encouragement to make a choice, then use brain energy on things more important and never to have an opinion on anyone else's fluff. With the exception of someone you are shagging. Then you can have an opinion as long as its kept in proportion Grin

ICBINEG · 08/08/2013 00:10

Itsnotatest maybe there is angst because people do get abuse for armpit hair atm?

I know I look awesome in my swim suit...but I still get called names by the ignorant...so it is an angst inspiring issue for me...

Does that help explain?

MrsKoala · 08/08/2013 00:35

and that's not to mention the vast swathes that think they came up with the idea that body hair is 'dirty' all by themselves and it had nothing whatsoever to do with the media.

I don't think hair is dirty, but the blood clots and poo which cling to it makes it much more difficult to keep clean and not smell bad. As i'm not going to stop bleeding or shitting it's easier to remove the hair. And i came up with that conclusion all by myself and have had it off since before it got all mainstream to do so. i remember waxers being Shock

capitola · 08/08/2013 00:45

No thanks.

I have just today parted with £55 to have my legs (& feet, sadly) & Brazilian done.

Hairiness is not for me.

Guerrillacrochet · 08/08/2013 06:43

Well wine o'clock has been and gone and the thread remains lovely; hairy and smooth living together in harmony. Smile
OP in you post upthread you said this:
2)Unfamiliarity can lead to disgust. Consequently, people increasingly experience disgust about female body hair. This is only getting worse with increased depilation and internet porn (which is, incidentally, primarily driven by male sexual preference).
I am interested in this one as I wonder if it is a bit chicken and egg. I read somewhere that the main reason for the rise of hairlessness in porn was practical and that it was easier to film and photograph a hairless fanny. Whether this is true or not I don't know. But now that it is more normal it is now desirable? Because in all my years shagging I have never, ever had one comment from a man about my bush. Has anyone else? Is it because older men (anyone >30) are aware of what a hairy vag looks like and frankly don't care?
I'm not saying women are removing hair to manplease, not at all. The comments here say as much. It's just an often touted reason that it's the men that want this... I just wonder if the majority are bothered at all?

TallulahBetty · 08/08/2013 07:28

LOLOLOL at the assumption that if we don't like hair, it MUST have come from media pressure, or the evil menz telling us to get rid. Hmm

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/08/2013 07:33

Lebfg - that was me - my oh is a very hairy man weirdly before I met him I hated hairy chests/backs and I love snuggling up to his fur :)

Yet he doesn't have sweaty smelly pits but I do if I don't shave

Fwiw - this blonde waxes tho name for some says otherwise lol

£12.50 yesterday sorted out my lady garden pmsl