Ok, I already have a DD and she is fab. Am 28 weeks pregnant with DD2, I knew right from the start of the pregnancy that she was another girl but can?t help but be disappointed as I know it is not what my family want and having girls seems to be more looked down on generally. Am totally astonished at all the comments on MN from people who wanted girls instead of boys, - not what I have been hearing! Before I even got pregnant again, when people asked us if we would have any more kids I got comments about how we are bound to want to have a boy as one of each is ideal (apparently) and how sons are special (especially a first son apparently), girls are more fragile and more needy etc (again, apparently!).
There?s several reasons I wanted a DS: I know my brother and SIL want one so desperately (I have a niece and nephew and I know they want a boy playmate for my nephew) and I suppose I want to please them (which I know is stupid but can?t help it!); males seem to have an easier time in society generally ? am sure I will get told how wrong this is; everyone I speak to seems to prefer to have sons regardless of what they already have; my inlaws are all football mad and prefer the company of males, MIL in particular says she hates being with all women, although DH has managed not to be like this!
We have not told anyone the gender and won?t until after the birth but am getting so fed up with comments like ?ooh let?s hope it?s a boy this time?. SIL is always dropping hints that she wants it to be a boy and i just feel like saying ?why the fuck does it matter so much??. The one person I did tell it was a girl said ?oh.. shame? which upset me and made me not want to tell people.
Deep down I don?t think I mind that much that it?s another girl (am pretty sure DH doesn?t mind either) as I know we will adore her as much as DD1. But people?s comments and stereotypes are bugging me so much that I actually feel sad about it. I keep thinking this is what my girls will have to put up with in life, - that they are a disappointment. I have already experienced this as my grandmother always favoured my brother (my gmother always idolised males) and my parents never challenged it so I know what it is like.
Am sure it is partly my history that makes me angry about this but even
taking that into account, it seems to be confirmed all the time how it is better to have a son and if you have all girls then it?s a shame somehow. Woman at work even said to another colleague whose first child was a boy ? ?ooh isn?t it just so lucky to have a son!?. I just thought, why is it not lucky to have a daughter? I keep thinking I am lucky to be pregnant again and a baby is what we wanted regardless of gender and I just need to get some perspective on it but I keep hearing these things and getting upset!