to be upset?

[IHeartKingThistle]

Was at an outdoor concert yesterday with family and dcs. Both my sisters smoke, I think they're stupid especially as one of them has a child also, but I get that they're adults and can do what they want. I don't give them a hard time about it.

At the start of the day i said something about not letting my dc see them smoking and they said of course. A couple of hours later they're dd says 'look mummy, aunty x is doing smoking'. She was in a chair and they were lighting up right in front of her. I called over to let them know and they just shrugged .

I'm gutted. Dd is 6 and I haven't even talked to her properly about smoking yet. We are a very close, loving family and dd adores my sisters - I just feel like I can't give her a clear message now without it being confused by the fact that she's seen someone she loves doing it. Today they've both been acting like nothing's happened even though they know I'm upset. They think it was no big deal because lots if people were smoking; they don't get that I didn't want her to see THEM smoking. They knew how I felt about it and did it anyway.

I used to smoke and I know there's no-one as sanctimonious as an ex smoker, but I stopped before I got pregnant with dd and would never do it around dc. I know she would realise at some point but I was kind of hoping they'd stop before she found out.

Sorry for the essay, didn't want to drip feed. I don't know where to go from here. Do I just need to get over myself?

Thanks farewell

Do you also ask them not to drink near your children?

I'd find you rather annoying, sorry. I rarely smoke in front of children (I rarely smoke), but if for some reason I chose to, its none of your business, family or not.

Well I guess I'm glad I don't know you then .

I will point out AGAIN that I haven't said any of this to them, and they initially agreed without question that they wouldn't do it in front of my DCs. No indication they were finding me annoying, which was why I was surprised.

Yabu and precious.

It is not an illegal drug Yet

Lots of us on here grew up in the 70s and 80s and had family members who smoked. It is not catching.

Teach your kids to be independent thinkers and they will make decisions for themselves

Has she ever caught a glimpse of them or you, drinking alcohol?

Sorry but this is PFB at its worst.

And btw, in the past kids were more likely to smoke if their family did because cigarettes were much cheaper and easier to buy than they are now.

Nowadays you have to be 18 to buy them

They're not advertised

You can't even see them in most shops because they're locked away in a cupboard.

You need a mortgage to begin a smoking habit

Things are different for the next generation so I wouldn't worry about her copying her Aunts.

Like most kids, she's far more likely to copy her friends anyway.

Worra, at the same concert I had a mother ask me to take DS' cap off on the bouncy castle as it was a danger to other children's eyes. There's a lot of PFB out there!

Ew I've just looked up PFB. Oh dear. I didn't dislike my DS (Yes, PFB and indeed only child if that makes it even MORE precious) seeing DSis smoke because I just didn't want him to think it was something that's OK in our family. And like I said... every single member of the family has smoked at one point so I am being a massive hypocrite.

What's worse for the OP though is that her sisters had promised they wouldn't do it. Surely the other posters can see why that's upsetting?

And... I believe that my siblings and I smoked because we used to go to our granny's house where every single aunt, uncle and grandparent in the room were puffing away. It was just the norm. I can totally see why the OP would rather her children didn't see family members doing it.

That sounds like an excuse. Huge numbers of non-smokers grew up in families where everyone smoked. It was normalised everywhere.You took it up because you wanted to.

Oh OK fair point. I do think though that you can think of smoking as 'normal' whereas if you came from a family that never smoked, you'd be much less likely to do it. Luckily every single family member has given up now so hopefully it won't happen in the next generation.

Jeez, having to post and run, but a big fat YANBU from me! You told them not to expose her to it - for entirely understandable reasons - and then they did it anyway. I'd be upset (and v-pissed off!) too!