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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Acceptable length of time to sit in a busy cafe when you've finished your drink/food?

41 replies

angelos02 · 05/08/2013 15:03

Yesterday I went with DH to local café, all seats outside were taken and there was a group of 4 people with empty cups in front of them. Fair enough I thought, they may be waiting for food. DH and I went and sat inside (we'd rather have been outside as the weather was beautiful). The group of 4 left about 20 minutes later having not ordered anymore drinks or food.

AIBU to think you should vacate your table fairly promptly if it is clear that people are looking to sit down? At least 2 other sets of people looked for seats outside, carrying trays so it wasn't just DH & I that they inconvenienced.

Or are some people just so self-centred they have no idea what is going on around them?

OP posts:
BrokenSunglasses · 05/08/2013 15:07

I'd say around ten minutes is an acceptable amount of time to stay after you have finished your drink. You usually pay for the use of the seating facilities when you buy your drink, that's why take away prices are cheaper, so I don't think people should feel obliged to leave as soon as they have finished their last mouthful.

Some people do take the piss and stay for ages though, and that's just selfish.

WestieMamma · 05/08/2013 15:09

20 minutes is nothing. When I meet my friend in our local cafe we spend hours in there.

So I think YABU for that and because you got seats but are moaning because you wanted the seats that others, who were there before you, already had.

kinkyfuckery · 05/08/2013 15:10

YABU, there were other seats available!

Original poster
angelos02 · 05/08/2013 15:12

Other seats were available but it seemed ridiculous that we were indoors, eating and drinking while there were people that had finished their lunch, hogging the decent seats outside.

OP posts:
BeCool · 05/08/2013 15:15

you are over-concerning yourself with matters that are, quite simply, none of your business.

If you aren't happy with the selection of tables/chairs, go somewhere else.

You are clearly twitching about this, starting a thread about it a full day later. Why not just let it go? Were you annoyed through your cafe visit? Do you see how you degraded your experience yourself?

chesterberry · 05/08/2013 15:15

20 minutes doesn't really seem unreasonable when there are other seats available. Usually if I meet a group of friends for coffee I have not really gone for the drink but for the place to sit and chance to catch up with friends in a convenient place. I might expect to spend a good hour chatting but it definitely would't take an hour to drink my drink so I would likely be sat with empty cups in front of me for 20 minutes or more afterwards.

That said I would feel guilty about doing this if the place was busy, if was just having drinks and it was a busy lunchtime I would aim not to stay much beyond the time it took to drink them to make room for people having lunch. Although if I am caught up in conversation I might not really be paying attention to other customers or be aware how busy the place is. In my experience in a busy cafe once it gets to lunchtime the owners will often ask people who have finished their drinks to vacate their seats for the lunchtime crowd.

I'm also talking about your coffee-house type place (Costa, Starbucks, Cafe Nero etc) where coffee is ridiculously overpriced and as such you are kind of paying for the place to sit down for an hour - in a tea-room type place or cafe more geared towards people sitting down to eat I would probably not stay so long after finishing my drink.

CaptainSweatPants · 05/08/2013 15:16

It's okay to linger!
We probably take 20 minutes, trips to the loo, waiting for the bill etc

YourHandInMyHand · 05/08/2013 15:18

If it was busy they might have been waiting ages for the bill?

I don't think 20 mins is that shocking really.

Wuxiapian · 05/08/2013 15:20

YABU.

I've quite often stayed up to an hour after finishing drink/food. I've spent money to eat/drink there so why should I rush?!

morethanpotatoprints · 05/08/2013 15:22

If its busy and only lunch I think about 5 mins tbh. Its different if you are in a restaurant and eating a 3 course meal, in which case 10/15 mins.

LRDYaDumayuShtoTiKrasiviy · 05/08/2013 15:22

20 minutes is fine.

Much longer, and I think it'd depend on the type of cafe. If it's one of those where you pay for internet, you will obviously have people who want to use up the full hour, or where people will want to stay and use the net - IME the waiters normally have their own rules about when they start asking people if they'd like another drink and suggesting they should move on if not.

I don't think you can expect someone to move just because you'd prefer their seat, though - not if there are others free.

ComposHat · 05/08/2013 15:24

I've quite often stayed up to an hour after finishing drink/food. I've spent money to eat/drink there so why should I rush?!

Fair enough if it is quiet, but if there are people waiting to be served food and drink, lingering like a vegetarian's fart is selfish in the extreme as you are depriving other people of somewhere to sit down and the cafe owner of revenue as they may have to turn people away.

parakeet · 05/08/2013 15:24

As long as the cafe owner is happy to let people stay for.

toffeelolly · 05/08/2013 15:30

YABU. They bought drink's they are entitled to sit for as long as they like. I do this at times also,if staff made customers go when finished food or drink they would not get any business.

Original poster
angelos02 · 05/08/2013 15:33

I always thought you were expected to leave once you'd finished eating/drinking. In the same way as you can't nurse a single pint for hours in a pub.

OP posts:
LRDYaDumayuShtoTiKrasiviy · 05/08/2013 15:34

Well, round here you definitely can. Confused

There'd be no one in my local if you couldn't nurse a pint for hours, that's what a quiet pub is for.

2rebecca · 05/08/2013 15:34

Agree it's up to the cafe owner. If there are no seats outside you sit inside or go elsewhere. I think 20 min after you've finished is fair enough if it's busy but on a nice day outside seats in popular cafes are often full and people do linger.

The cafe owner might rather have 2 people occupy a table for an hour and a half and have a big meal and stay for 30 min after they'd finished than 2 lots of couples having just coffee and leaving soon after they've finished. It's the overall amount they spend, and whether or not they are regulars not just how long they linger for that's relevent.
None of this is your business though. The tables were occupied.

2rebecca · 05/08/2013 15:37

I've nursed a single pint in a pub for hours, many publicans would rather have someone there than no-one to give the place atmosphere and sometimes I'm killing time waiting and don't want to drink loads so sit and read with 1 drink.
If the barman isn't happy he can ask me to move on.

frogspoon · 05/08/2013 15:37

I was recently in a very busy pret with family, including my elderly grandmother who is visibly disabled (walks with a stick). There were six of us and there was no unoccupied table that was big enough for all of us to sit at.

We ended up very squished around a 4 person table whilst 3 men at the next (much larger) table with more comfortable seating leisurely sat having a conversation well after having finished their coffee/ food.

They could see that we were clearly very uncomfortable, and that it was particularly difficult for my grandmother who has mobility issues and would have benefitted from a soft seat rather than a stool. Yet they continued to sit there chatting for at least half an hour after eating their food and drink, finishing only five minutes before we did.

toffeelolly · 05/08/2013 15:41

If I was made to get up as soon as u had finished I would not be back again.

NettoSuperstar · 05/08/2013 15:44

My friend and I sat fr three hours on Saturday and just had two drinks each, and we were at a table for four with the big comfy chairs.
Thinking on it now, it was really busy, but we were oblivious as we hadn't seen each other for 17 years and were too busy catching up to worry about goings on around us.

Original poster
angelos02 · 05/08/2013 15:45

I'd be too embarrassed to sit without a drink.

OP posts:
BeCool · 05/08/2013 15:46

frog I don't get the point of your post at all.

Some men had a bigger table than you?

You were with elderly person therefore everyone else in cafe should ensure that their comfort is not greater than that of elderly people who might arrive at some point in the meal/conversation?

For a start you could have chosen somewhere else if a table for 6 was essential. Pret's aren't known for having many tables that seat more than 4 people (well certainly none of the many Prets I frequent).

But to sit there and be bothered that other customers, don't read your mind, jump up and offer you a table when they are halfway through lunch/conversation etc - well it's completely mind froggelling!

sparechange · 05/08/2013 15:47

BrokenSunglasses - you pay more for eat-in because the restaurant are legally obliged to charge you VAT. It isn't because they want to charge you more to cover the cost of your chair

LRDYaDumayuShtoTiKrasiviy · 05/08/2013 15:48

TBH I think getting up from a chair so an elderly person who's visibly disabled doesn't have to sit on a stool is pretty basic politeness.

But if they'd not noticed I would have no issues asking politely if they would mind doing us a favour and swapping - they could only say no.

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