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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bore my children for the day. Ideas please

49 replies

neveronsunday · 05/08/2013 13:41

My children are 4&7 and, by week 3, are driving me insane.

They have become really cheeky & disrespectful and delight in winding me up.

But worse, they are ungrateful oiks. They complain about everything unless it's exactly what they want to do.

Yesterday I let them have the day playing X Box (they haven't been on it for months), go to indoor play etc.

We spend most days in the park.

Today, I was going to take them to our local castle where they were running 'knight school'. They said it was boring.

I suggested we scoot/cycle round our local reservoir. They said no.

I then drove them to our local fruit picking farm - they said they would refuse to pick/run away/get lost etc.

So we didn't even get out of the car, I drove the 20 mins back again.

DH needs us out of the house so we are getting the car cleaned, supermarket etc.

I have told them I will show them what it is like to be bored.

AIBU?

What else can I get them to do for the afternoon.

OP posts:
Suddengeekgirl · 05/08/2013 13:45

I turfed my 4&2 yo dc's out into the garden last week when I'd had enough of the fighting and whinging.
They discovered the rain filled paddling pool and had a great time soaking each other and collecting stones. They were in a much better mood once they had got the 'feral-ness' out their systems.

If you really want to bore the dc then make them sit and watch bargain hunt with you. This might not help with their grouchiness tho!

Original poster
neveronsunday · 05/08/2013 13:52

Glad it's not just me.

It's the disrespect I can't cope with. I just keep thinking 'Jesus, what are they going to be like in 10 years'.

I feel better for a rant Grin

OP posts:
MadeOfStarDust · 05/08/2013 13:56

mine don't play up any more - but they are 11 and 12 - don't know if you want to wait that long Grin

We do the "the skirting boards need cleaning" if they as much as open their mouths with the "I'm bored" sentence..... so would not know how to make them bored ... sorry....

MrsKeithRichards · 05/08/2013 13:56

Sometimes kids want to be 'off' too and there is no need for conatant entertainment. Day in the house!

Sirzy · 05/08/2013 13:58

I would simply say "for the rest of today there will be no TV or xbox. I will be doing nothing to entertain you if you behave yourselves we might go out somewhere fun tomorrow - its up to you"

Original poster
neveronsunday · 05/08/2013 13:59

Sirzy, that's exactly what I have said.

They look confused Grin

OP posts:
ruby1234 · 05/08/2013 14:05

You drove 20 minutes to a fruit picking farm and drove home again without getting out of the car because they said they would misbehave?

Get. A. Grip.

DaddyPigsMistress · 05/08/2013 14:08

The fruit picking thing is wierd if mrychildren told me they were going to be naughty and run away the would of got a bollocking about being spoit brats, told to get out of the car and to behave for the day.

sonlypuppyfat · 05/08/2013 14:08

I've thrown my DS out the house he's 14 and left to his own devices would just sit in his tiny box room all day. This is our third week and he's done sweet FA but you can tell he's bored he's in a rotten mood

Original poster
neveronsunday · 05/08/2013 14:12

The fruit picking is put of character for me, I must say. But very much the last straw.

They have developed very much a 'yeah, what are you going to do about it' stance in the last week.

I felt I needed to make a stand.

We are still at the car wash

OP posts:
LaRegina · 05/08/2013 14:22

I would say stop micro-managing their days (in the nicest possible way) and let them be truly bored for a few days.

Seriously- there is nothing wrong with completely unstructured time now and again - children do actually need to learn how to entertain themselves.

I spend lots of my days at home during the hols either with my friends visiting (with their DC in tow so they all entertain each other) or visa versa. The DC are happy and so am I Grin because I'm sitting on my bum all day drinking coffee ....

celticclan · 05/08/2013 14:22

Ruby what do you mean get a grip? The children said they were going to misbehave. What would have been the point in getting out of the car if it was just going to mean stress. The OP did the right thing by going home.

Eldestoffive · 05/08/2013 14:22

I had my six year old tidying his bedroom for three hours last week with numerous trips to the bin....past his gang of friends playing out front, and then sent him back to dust when he thought he'd finished( including skirting boards). He hasn't been cheeky or complained about being bored since!

Altinkum · 05/08/2013 14:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaRegina · 05/08/2013 14:28

Ok so everybody will probably shoot me down for saying this but I rarely organise anything other than having friends round to play for my DC in the holidays, other than if DH & I have both booked time off work then we have 'big' days out, ie London, Theme Parks, etc. But that is only for one week of the summer holidays usually.

The rest of the time they entertain themselves, playing in the garden, playing with their toys/computers, watching tv (gasp!) etc. Honestly, they never tell me they're bored; they really seem to enjoy their 'down time' when they're not ruled by school timetables & bedtimes.

I know a few people who micro-manage their DC's time and plan things constantly. They are honestly the only children I see who don't seem capable of entertaining themselves for more than ten minutes without being bored.

Altinkum · 05/08/2013 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrussoHathor · 05/08/2013 14:29

eldestoffive that's why I do with my 7yo. The more she moans about being bored the more I discover for her to clean in her room. Grin

Always good to find an empty field or a wood, and release them into to wild for a couple of hours. (Obviously not by themselves, but without telling them what to do to amuse themselves)

BsshBossh · 05/08/2013 14:30

When they are rude to you, how do you discipline them?

Beastofburden · 05/08/2013 14:30

They are a bit young to be able to handle so much nice activity. One "proper" thing a week would have been what I offered. I think they may be bored because they are too little for those activities (i know, the irony is they think they are too grown up).

Slow down, go old fashioned. Some thoughts:

Cook with them (cake so they can lick the bowl)

Do you have a tent? offer to let them sleep out in it (with DH, it is SO his turn) and cook their tea over a little fire (cook it first in the oven and let them singe it, OBV)

Have a lego fest and make a funicular railway or a mad machine to scoop flour up and dump it onto the heads of unsuspecting dollies.

Find a stream and make mud pies and bury treasure.

Borrow a friendly dog.

But also... get a good book for yourself and one for the seven year old at least, and let the little one do colouring in. I enforced "quiet time" right up to age 16 or so- an hour after lunch, when you were sent to your room and not allowed to disturb mummy unless bleeding.

Why does DH want you out of the house? he is BU, they will be overstimulated if they are on the road the whole time.

BalloonSlayer · 05/08/2013 14:32

celticclan I think the "get a grip" was because the children did not want to go fruit picking, so they threatened to behave badly if they went in (threat is in itself bad behaviour). So the OP drove home, and they thus got their own way by behaving badly.

I'd have said: how DARE you threaten me like that, that's your pocket money for this week lost, and if there is any bad behaviour when we are in there, you will lose next week's, and the week after that if you still don't behave, and I don't care if you end up with none till CHRISTMAS.

(7 and 4 probably too young for pocket money though. TBH I only started giving my DCs pocket money so I could take it off them.)

Eldestoffive · 05/08/2013 14:32

Frussohather isn't it fun watching the sulking knowing that they will just get sent back again?
I still find the trick is not to get wound up and look almost bored as you send them back! Lol

Beastofburden · 05/08/2013 14:33

as for the yeah whatever stuff- what you are going to do about it is...go home, get a book, lie on the sofa and tell them to FU and amuse themselves if they are going to be so ungrateful.

relax. They are not enjoying these activities, so give yourself a break and stop doing them. Be lazy. Do nothing. It might make them less ungrateful and even if it doesnt, it is nicer for you so thats a start ;)

BirdyBedtime · 05/08/2013 14:38

I totally sympathise - mine are same ages roughly. DH always takes them on big outings so on days with me they moan that daddy is more fun. Weather awful here today so stuck in house. After moping for a while they pulled out toy boxes and have been playing most of the day. I agree that kids need sometimes to have to amuse themselves rather than be amused. Good luck. Thankfully we're in Scotland so only 2 weeks to go.

Original poster
neveronsunday · 05/08/2013 14:38

bshh that's what I'm trying to work out.

They've never really been rude like this before.

I will admit my discipline is not my strong point & I'm desperate to get a handle on it.

I don't even seem to touch the sides.

All tips gratefully received.

OP posts:
BalloonSlayer · 05/08/2013 14:38

When mine reject all suggestions about what to do, and can't suggest anything themselves I make us all do something I want to do . . . that way at least one of us is enjoying themself.

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