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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To bore my children for the day. Ideas please

49 replies

neveronsunday · 05/08/2013 13:41

My children are 4&7 and, by week 3, are driving me insane.

They have become really cheeky & disrespectful and delight in winding me up.

But worse, they are ungrateful oiks. They complain about everything unless it's exactly what they want to do.

Yesterday I let them have the day playing X Box (they haven't been on it for months), go to indoor play etc.

We spend most days in the park.

Today, I was going to take them to our local castle where they were running 'knight school'. They said it was boring.

I suggested we scoot/cycle round our local reservoir. They said no.

I then drove them to our local fruit picking farm - they said they would refuse to pick/run away/get lost etc.

So we didn't even get out of the car, I drove the 20 mins back again.

DH needs us out of the house so we are getting the car cleaned, supermarket etc.

I have told them I will show them what it is like to be bored.

AIBU?

What else can I get them to do for the afternoon.

OP posts:

frogwatcher42 · 05/08/2013 14:39

Do you have to be out of the house a lot due to dh work? You say you have to be out today.

In holidays we have about 3 home days a week now doing jobs and the kids have to entertain themselves. They are now excellent at it and actually love these days. They dress up, play schools, shoot hoops outside, make camps, draw, read, and other games I have no idea what they are about! I don't get involved apart from the odd time. We then do an activity a couple of times a week but it may only be for an hour - like fruit picking or the beach. Then two trips to a farm or the zoo through the whole 6 weeks. It becomes a treat then. We can't afford a holiday so they don't even get that!

I think you are doing way too much. Turn the electronics off and let them be bored. After a week or so you will massively reap the benefits for ever more!

Original poster

neveronsunday · 05/08/2013 14:39

It's only this afternoon DH needs is out of the house.

He works from home every Mon & has important call.

OP posts:

Eldestoffive · 05/08/2013 14:42

They can sense when your getting wound up, and they will play on it!
If you can stay calm it will help even if you have to lock yourself in the loo for five minutes!!!

Eldestoffive · 05/08/2013 14:44

Worst comes to worst can you walk them a couple of mile? A park or beach and just ignore the whinging?

livinginwonderland · 05/08/2013 14:45

Honestly, kids don't need to be entertained all the time. If you have to be out of the house, go to the park, take a book and some snacks and leave them to it.

They need to learn to entertain themselves. If you're at home, let them just "be". They can read, play with toys, watch TV, play a boardgame, whatever. If they moan about being bored, send them to clean their room or to dust or to load/unload the dishwasher. Everytime they moan, find a chore for them to do. They'll soon stop whining and find something to do!

frogwatcher42 · 05/08/2013 14:46

My dh drives home if the kids misbehave. Disaster. Your kids have got their own way round the fruit picking farm. I would have made them walk to heel, pick and be quiet all the way round if they threatened that. If necessary I would have tied something around one of the kids to act like a lead if they threatened to run away, even if it meant explaining the situation to the farmer in front of them and asking for a piece of string.

I would not have gone home. You are in charge - they do what you want to do.

Eldestoffive · 05/08/2013 14:46

Dh also works from home some of the week so I can sympathise!

FrussoHathor · 05/08/2013 14:47

an hour after lunch, when you were sent to your room and not allowed to disturb mummy unless bleeding.

beast mine would come back in minutes with one or other of them bleeding if I told them that!

I still find the trick is not to get wound up and look almost bored as you send them back! Lol
eldest and making sure they don't catch you grinning because then you've had it.

Peeling potatoes, sorting odd socks, and putting books/videos/DVDs into alphabetical order is also useful when they're bored.

BsshBossh · 05/08/2013 14:54

neveronsunday my 5yo responds well with me taking her favourite toys away from her and/or withdrawing TV. These days I can give her a warning stare and it's enough for her to stop misbehaving - she knows I mean business and always follow through. She behaves worse with her dad and grandma who never follow through on discipline. She's also now at the age when explaining why her behaviour is wrong works (alongside the discipline).

Eldestoffive · 05/08/2013 14:56

Polishing banisters...hours of fun!

Wishihadabs · 05/08/2013 14:59

I have to say who is the adult in your house ? It has to be you and you have to be in charge. They are 4&7 ffs. They don't know what they want and they certainly don't know what's best for them sorry.

ClartyCarol · 05/08/2013 15:12

Well, I'm currently waiting for my three to tidy up their bombsite mess before we go to McDonald's (with free softplay, the main reason I was happy to take them!). If they don't tidy it up then we don't go, I couldn't give a toss either way. They won't get fed at home or away until it's tidied though.

Looks like they'll be going hungry at this rate.

I agree with other posters, I would ditch the planned activities until they show a bit more enthusiasm and appreciation. If mine have days like that, which touch wood isn't that often, the most exciting activity they're offered is a dog walk, which they generally moan about. I'm buggered if I'm busting a gut to arrange things to do for them to spend the time grumbling and bickering.

TheYoniWayIsUp · 05/08/2013 15:31

I agree with others, mine would have felt my wrath if they threatened to misbehave like that. I can't believe you drove back home! I can see why they don't behave, tbh. You need some boundaries, fast.

Original poster

neveronsunday · 05/08/2013 15:43

I drove home to prove a point. It's no use arranging fun things if they don't appreciate it & no point forcing them.

I'll be honest, shouting doesn't work as they take no notice.

So they have say on garage forecourt whilst car has been washed. We've been to butchers, supermarket, petrol station & now going home where they will put groceries away.

I saved a fortune as no sweets or snacks.

They have been told no TV or X Box.

DS1 keeps asking if we will get the chance to go fruit picking again & if we will be doing fun stuff at all today.

So I'm hoping they've got the message.

OP posts:

PrincessScrumpy · 05/08/2013 16:01

First week of the holiday dd1 (5yo so first summer holiday) was horrid - unrecognisable to me with her chat back. She ended up tidying her room and sorting her toys which worked well as she now remembers what she owns!
I would have them doing house work all day.

Original poster

neveronsunday · 05/08/2013 16:24

Thanks Scrumpy.

It's actual the 4 year old who is behaving the worst, which is a shock for me, and I think him.

OP posts:

Eldestoffive · 05/08/2013 19:42

They get about testy at school age, best to clamp down now it's only going to get worse!

Original poster

neveronsunday · 05/08/2013 20:07

Well that's reassuring

OP posts:

Eldestoffive · 05/08/2013 20:09

If you are firm. Now you are done......till at least five!

Beastofburden · 05/08/2013 21:10

Discipline... They have to care what you think. In the end, nothing works unless they do. A mummy death stare and pointed silence works better than a rant. I don't mean emotional bullying, but take it onto your territory not theirs.

The other secret is you must always have something that they want.

Original poster

neveronsunday · 05/08/2013 22:31

Definitely the silence in the car on way back from the farm was far more terrifying for them than shouting.

To be fair, DS1 knows when he's gone too far and them tries to be very sweet.

DS2 I think is just learning what it's like to be in trouble. Hopefully he will tire of it quickly.

They were surprisingly accepting of no TV & played happily on bikes in garden, then in their rooms.

Thank you for letting me rant

OP posts:

ImagineJL · 05/08/2013 22:33

Take them shoe shopping for school shoes. After that they'll be begging to pick fruit and go to castles!

Original poster

neveronsunday · 05/08/2013 22:34

Do you know I nearly did that today.

But as DS2 is starting reception I wanted it to be a "positive" experience

OP posts:

Beastofburden · 06/08/2013 07:46

I'm sure there is nothing wrong with your discipline! But as you have asked for any tips....

IME only 10% of discipline is about what we do when they kick off. 90% is about steering round things so they don't kick off in the first place. You see families in that spiral of the kids not listening, so mum tells them off more, so they get even more used to it, so they listen even less so she tries harder... And if you say, try to keep it positive, she says, I can't - look at how they are behaving.

I suspect your four year old is kicking off most because he is that lovely old fashioned thing, "over stimulated". Too little to cope with busy days of your nice, thoughtfully planned activities. Also, he is trying out his big boy naughty muscles. (Does he come up with the rude comments, or copy his brother? ) So I might not treat him terribly seriously when he is rude, but behave as if I had caught him trying to play the clarinet or something- don't be silly darling, have you heard what you sound like?

I don't think DS2 will have quite the memory of ds1 when it comes to being in trouble and losing tomorrows treats. You can end up with an atmosphere where he knows he is in the doghouse but can't quite remember what for, so he sulks and is narky. So perhaps I would be saying, shame about the fruit picking, I guess you are just too young for it, pity cos we could have stuffed our faces with raspberries. Rather than, you are an ungrateful little toad.

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