WWYD? Wedding related but nowhere near as exciting as Tidydancer's scenario

[ilikecooking]

DH & I married 10 years.

DH hasn't heard from his best man for 3 or 4 years despite living within 10 miles of us.

DH gets a call out of the blue from our best man's best man - turns out he's getting married & wants DH at the stag-do.

DH agrees, says he's looking forward to catching up. No monies exchanged - DH is told all info will be given nearer the time of the stag-do.

TODAY is stag-do day. DH is at home because he didn't receive any further info. It wasn't followed through despite DH's attempt to make contact with best man & groom.

DH is disappointed. I feel disappointed for him.

I'm in a pickle - we RSVP'd the wedding invite at the same time of accepting the stag-do invite, saying we'd love to join in with their wedding celebrations.

DH & I both now feel it is inappropriate to attend. He feels unwanted & rejected. He tried to make good the friendship he originally had with his best man.

My issue is: I don't want the wedding party to be out of pocket for our meal & think it is only fair that we warn them we will not be attending. DH & I will look bad if we do a no-show. On the other hand, I am thinking we don't turn up but if we ever get questioned about it, can say I was suddenly taken ill. (Not rare in my case!)

Note: Invite came with "Cash as a present please" poem

WWYD?

[Alliwantisaroomsomewhere]

[PaulSmenis]

That's pure class cushtie.

[nkf]

That's the worst poem ever. Especially the line about providing the wishing well. May they drown in it. I don't know about cancelling. Tempting I'm sure, but does it leave them out of pocket? Or do brides and grooms allow for no shows?

[nkf]

Actually, sod it. Cancel. People who can send out poems like that deserve no consideration.

[moojie]

Oh how that has made me chuckle cushtie

[cushtie335]

Aw thanks. I've grown to hate anything sent to me in this doggerel fashion. I have a "friend" who sends a round robin every Christmas in rhyme and it makes me want to gouge my own eyes out. One time she managed to shoehorn in her menopause symptoms with "Life is so hectic these days/and everybody rushes/we need to slow down/and I'm having bad hot flushes. Fuck off. Fuck right off.

[MintyChops]

Jesus, Cushie, a Christmas round robin (feels nauseous) featuring a poem (voms a bit in mouth) about someone's menopause (unleashes projectile vomit)?????? That's unforgivable.

[PeriodFeatures]

WTF happens to people to make them think poetic begging for money and newsletters are actually o.k? Seriously how detached from reality do you need to be to make bragging and begging into a poem!!

[cushtie335]

Yuppity Indeedy MintyChops. We had a horrible year once when my FIL died as did both my parents and 2 other beloved family members and she sent us a shitty little rhyming round robin with some maudlin bathos about her dead cat along the lines of "Life is hard when we lose our friends/and we have lost a mate/our darling cat Fluffy died/and we have to accept our fate. I was fit to be tied. I sent her a text back saying "Here we are at Alton Towers/enjoying the water slide/we needed to cheer ourselves up/cos this year EVERYBODY DIED!!!"

[cantreachmytoes]

Cushtie - I'm sorry, that sounds like an awful year, but your reply was FANTASTIC!!!!

[Yonionekanobe]

This wishing well thing is a new one on me

I hope someone gets telly drunk and pukes in it

[Blondeshavemorefun]

did your dh every try and make contact within the last 4 years to his best man we all know many men are shit at keeping in contact many men cant even organize a piss up in a brewery

obv he wanted dh there hence why the best man contacted him

maybe crossed wires :(

why doesnt dh just call his best man and see what happened via the stag do

if dh wants to be friends/meet again then go to the wedding regardless of the stag do incident

if dh doesnt give 2 shits if he sees best man again then dont go and send a note , white lie if you prefer and say a relative is ill/have to work etc

[Blondeshavemorefun]

ps a pukey poem to ask for cash

tho most impressed with other mn/ers replies of poetry

[nkf]

A wedding wishing well is a fancy donation box that is gaining popularity among bridal couples (up to 60% of weddings have them [1]), who have often lived together before marrying, or who have been previously married, and do not need an extra toaster. They are also sometimes found at showers to collect monetary gifts for the guests of honor, as well as good wishes such as poems and messages of congratulations. According to Wikipedia.

[MintyChops]

That's shit Cushtie, no other words....

[WafflyVersatile]

Say you can't go any more and send them this as a present instead of cash.

media4.onsugar.com/files/upl1/1/15259/17_2008/06_mermice_0/i/14-Horribly-Tacky-Cake-Toppers.jpg

[ilikecooking]

Op here!

In answer to your q's....nope, Best man doesn't know DH. I suppose the date could have changed but the wedding is now less than 2 weeks away.

captainsweatpants We were as baffled as you are to receive an invite - then we saw the poem & I have to be honest, it did kind of click then as to why.

hooverfairy I was never allowed to 'do' Halloween either.

waffleyversatile WTF is THAT??!! How funny!

sophiedaal I wasn't keen on attending & was only going to keep DH happy. But now he doesn't want to go. They've just drifted apart, DH's best man was rubbish & as blondes said, he couldn't plan a piss-up in a brewery. So, we know he would have been relying on his best man to arrange the stag do....

Blondes I think I see you on the childcare part of MN? Apologies if this is incorrect. Yep, DH made many attempts to meet our best man but he was so wishywashy. I guess this confirms it.

cushtie555, mrsschadenfreude, stickyproblem, cateauferret & hesterton...THANKYOU for making me smile from ear to ear with those poems....they're all ones to remember!

Just to let you know, the bride (I assume it's her email address on the invite) now has an email from me in her inbox explaining an unforeseen event has occurred & it is with regret DH & I are unable to attend. I have apologised for the short notice, saying that we only found out some news today.

You reckon that's ok?

[Blondeshavemorefun]

cooking yep thats me- normally found skulking on aibu,childcare and tv :)

if your dh has tried to contact groom over the years and nothing then i wouldnt bother trying anymore

and yes reply is enough to say you arent coming as just found out some news, is perfect - doesnt say what it is but dont have to worry making up an excuse

[MintyChops]

Perfect response, Op, good stuff! Thanks for coming back to update us...