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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed about friend's behaviour?

54 replies

Obviouslyanamechange · 03/08/2013 16:45

Regular, name changed.

This has been praying on my mind for a few weeks. Went for a bottle or two glass of wine at friends, there was a group of us there who get together on a regular basis....with kids/without/with husbands etc.

Having a lovely time, chatting, laughing etc. one of our friends wasn't there, let's call her A. Friend B and I were having a dance. I stupidly asked her something that had been on my mind nosey for a while.

I asked friend B why she goes round to Bs in the day for alchol with Dcs in tow......because I did this with A and B once and did not enjoy it. I couldn't relax, the Dcs did quite a bit of damage.....let DS's pet rat out.....weed on DS (9) Lego collection and broke models up. Also, they are quite open about the Dcs running riot, getting out of the house etc while they drink. The Dcs are 5.

I know I shouldn't of said it but was curious. Anyway B was livid, ranted on and on.... Shouted at me when I tried to calm her down then when I burst into tears she said say thank you when she comforted me..... I was a bit taken back and felt uncomfortable so didn't say anything, she then repeated sternly say thank you... I did.

Aibu to be angry and find the thank you think odd?

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 03/08/2013 16:49

am confused - sorry

Friend B goes to B's house??

petuniapickletits · 03/08/2013 16:49

What a weirdo. .she demanded you thank her after she reduced you to tears??

RobotHamster · 03/08/2013 16:49

Bit confused. B goes rounds to A's in the day while the kids play and run riot (though breaking up Lego models is hardly the end of the world), and you asked her why she does it? Confused

Also - presumably you mean they weed on the Lego, rather than on your DS Wink

WorraLiberty · 03/08/2013 16:50

I'm a bit confused here to say the least

Were your kids smashing stuff up too and escaping while you all got drunk?

Original poster
Obviouslyanamechange · 03/08/2013 16:50

Sorry B goes to As house

OP posts:
RobotHamster · 03/08/2013 16:51

Do A and B get shitfaced while the kids wreck the place then?

CaptainSweatPants · 03/08/2013 16:51

When do they drink then? Boozy lunches or let the kids stay up late?

firesidechat · 03/08/2013 16:52

I think you should cut out the wine altogether because I can't understand your post at all.

RobotHamster · 03/08/2013 16:53

Have you been at the Wine ? Grin

rubyslippers · 03/08/2013 16:53

i think it all sounds nuts

was your friend cross because you sounded critical of her kids behaviour and hers?

if you were all there gettign drunk and the kids getting out of hand then you're all culpable

YouStayClassySanDiego · 03/08/2013 16:53

So they drink during the day with the children unsupervised who then cause havoc?

You asked why they did it.

B got upset at you asking , you burst into tears, she comforted you then demanded that you thank her?

It sounds hard work, perhaps you should distance yourself from them.

Original poster
Obviouslyanamechange · 03/08/2013 16:54

Ok breaking up Lego wouldn't be a big deal but are DS's prized models, Dcs told not to go in his room.

My Dcs were not running riot but playing and from what my older Dcs have said it was not them causing damage but visiting Dcs, my Dcs would happily inform on each other! I wasn't getting drunk but had 1 glass of wine while they had 2 bottles and do regularly.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 03/08/2013 16:55

Oh I get it now...

You basically accused her and your other friend of being drunk in charge of their kids and neglecting them.

She too offence to that and shouted at you

You burst into tears

She comforted you but demanded you say thank you?

I expect that was because she felt you didn't deserve it after the accusations.

Original poster
Obviouslyanamechange · 03/08/2013 16:55

Sorry........tired. Blush

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 03/08/2013 16:56

i would distance yourself TBH

Original poster
Obviouslyanamechange · 03/08/2013 16:57

No accusations worra. I didn't enjoy it and was curious to why they would. My idea of relaxing is when Dcs are in bed or dh is at home the I hit the wine.

OP posts:
Original poster
Obviouslyanamechange · 03/08/2013 16:58

The fact my house got trashed didn't help.

OP posts:
Vivacia · 03/08/2013 16:59

I don't understand. You invited them both to your house, they got drunk and the children misbehaved? You then decide not to do this again. However, A and B continue to do so, and you asked one of them why?

Did you ever challenge them on their children's behaviour when they visited your house that time?

WorraLiberty · 03/08/2013 17:00

Well what were your exact words?

Surely if you just said, "Why do you enjoy drinking with A while you've both got the kids in tow? I don't enjoy doing that."

She wouldn't have started shouting at you? Confused

So perhaps it depends on the exact wording or the way you said it?

Original poster
Obviouslyanamechange · 03/08/2013 17:00

vivi I did speak to them about the Dcs behaviour.

OP posts:
Original poster
Obviouslyanamechange · 03/08/2013 17:02

I said, Why do you still go round to As house, after the shit time we had here?

OP posts:
LooplaLoopy · 03/08/2013 17:03

um.

Did you think she'd take it well?

Original poster
Obviouslyanamechange · 03/08/2013 17:03

I know I shouldn't have initiated the conversation, was alchol fuelled nosiness and thought she would either fob it off or explain...with no drama.

OP posts:
MrsKeithRichards · 03/08/2013 17:05

Stop drinking?

Original poster
Obviouslyanamechange · 03/08/2013 17:05

loopla I didn't think she'd bat an eyelid.

OP posts: