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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to smash in my own door?

72 replies

Khaleasy · 03/08/2013 15:50

OH has anger issues, most of the time he is fine but he'll lose his temper at ridiculous things and then storm around. Already in a bad mood, he is driving round town and can't find a parking space - cue swingy, swervey, heavy-acceleration driving. The lights go on amber and he doesn't stop, so I ask him - calmly - please stop at the lights. He does an emergency stop just in time.
I don't want to be in the car with him when he is driving like this, this is the second time in three days he's been driving in a way I don't feel safe in. I ask him to pull over and let me out. With much cursing, he does so and I get out and start to the bus stop - he drives away.

I realise that he has the only keys to the house (mine are in the house) so text him "Can you leave my keys outside if you leave the house" knowing full well he will strop off somewhere.

I finally get home on the bus - to find door locked, him gone and no keys.
It is pissing it down with rain. He is unlikely to be back for hours.

The neighbours - who have a spare key - are out. His parents, who have a spare key, aren't picking up the phone.

Our door is an old lead, glass and wood affair and we have previously had to knock in a pane of glass to break in. After 15 minutes of calling around and getting wet I end up breaking the (already cracked) pane of glass to get myself in.

OH will go BALLISTIC when he comes back. (He's already smashed it twice when locked himself out).

WIBU? Should I have just waited?

Note: OH lovely lovely man, 99% of time before I get lots of LTB!

OP posts:
HighBrows · 03/08/2013 16:11

I'm sorry but you both sound equally as bad as each other. You are both impatient and childish.

He was being unreasonable and so were you.

I'm shocked so many think you are in the right here.

No excuses, we all have daily stress, that doesn't mean I drive like a lunatic and/or smash the glass in my door to gain entry.

Sirzy · 03/08/2013 16:14

OH will go BALLISTIC when he comes back.

that to me sounds like you are concerned because you know he will overreact.

Original poster
Khaleasy · 03/08/2013 16:14

Highbrows - my other option was to sit in the rain and wait for him to come back with his keys. He's not back yet so we are already talking at least an hour

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 03/08/2013 16:16

How would you have gained entry then HighBrows

I mean how long would you have sat in the pouring rain for, while waiting for the wanker whose car you had to leave for your own safety, is nowhere to be seen?

CailinDana · 03/08/2013 16:16

Did he deliberately go out and ignore your request to leave keys?

HighBrows · 03/08/2013 16:17

I know Khaleasy but I really wouldn't have broken the window to get in. I locked myself out once for two hours. No one could come as all the spare key holders were in work. I just sat it out, albeit in my car.

I haven't read your other threads, but your OH sounds bad. Work stress is no excuse.

HighBrows · 03/08/2013 16:18

Worra I'd probably have called a friend to pick me up.

As I have said I haven't read the other threads people are alluding to.

Sirzy · 03/08/2013 16:19

Having a car to sit in is one thing, being sat out in the rain is another! I don't think smashing a door when you have tried and failed to get hold of all other key holders is overreacting at all!

HighBrows · 03/08/2013 16:20

Or else I'd have gone to a cafe or something.

ThisWayForCrazy · 03/08/2013 16:23

Yeah he sounds real lovely, a right catch

HighBrows · 03/08/2013 16:25

I ask him to pull over and let me out. With much cursing, he does so and I get out and start to the bus stop - he drives away.

It was dry at this point I'm guessing so even if it had been raining I'd probably have stayed in or near to the town. I'd not have gone home knowing I didn't have my keys with me.

ouryve · 03/08/2013 16:26

He only need to be angry and aggressive 1% of the time to seriously hurt you, you know. The other 99% then counts for nothing.

He sounds like a giant toddler, only more dangerous and nowhere near as cute.

Sirzy · 03/08/2013 16:31

I may be wrong but I would imagine the OP was hardly in the mood for wandering around town, or sitting in a cafe after the outburst of her husband. I think most people would just want to get home!

OHforDUCKScake · 03/08/2013 16:33

Wow, he sounds adorable.

"Its the second time in 3 days hes been driving like this."

"Lovely man, 99% of the time."

Hardly.

HighBrows · 03/08/2013 16:34

Well to be perfectly honest I wouldn't have let a tosser like OP's OH dictate my day and ruin it. I wouldn't have gone home to sit and stew or worry. I'd have gone about my business and done my own thing or treated myself to a nice lunch out while plotting ways to get him out of my life for good, but hey that's just me.

Sirzy · 03/08/2013 16:36

So hanging about until he decided to open the house wouldn't be letting him dicate and ruin the day?

HighBrows · 03/08/2013 16:38

No Sirzy it's not him dictating my day. I'd have done whatever it was I needed to do and had lunch out. I'd have then contacted other key holders and arranged access into my home without involving this angry tosser.

HighBrows · 03/08/2013 16:39

The neighbours - who have a spare key - are out. His parents, who have a spare key, aren't picking up the phone.

One of these key holders would've let OP in.

MissStrawberry · 03/08/2013 16:47

How can you say he would "never ever hurt you" when he drives like a twat?

I can't take you seriously either when you are all Grin about how you would have stayed in the car if you had known you were going to get wet.

MissStrawberry · 03/08/2013 16:50

You both sound as stupid as each other. Locking him out for revenge? Grow up.

Original poster
Khaleasy · 03/08/2013 16:52

The locking him out was a joke!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 03/08/2013 16:57

Have you got the glass yet OP?

Sallyingforth · 03/08/2013 16:58

If anyone can get in by breaking a small pane of glass and reaching the inside of the lock, you need to think seriously about improving your home security.

Runningchick123 · 03/08/2013 17:00

I agree with highbrows. You have both been childish and immature. His driving and anger is unacceptable but why break the glass in the door just because YOU left your keys in his car when you got out. Surely a better and cheaper idea would have been to visit a friend or relative or spend the afternoon in the pub and let your OH worry about where you are.
It sounds like your relationship has run its course and you both irritate the hell out of each other.
You have both been very unreasonable, but your behaviour has led to a ridiculous and unnecessary bill.

Original poster
Khaleasy · 03/08/2013 17:06

My keys were in the house because we went out together - i didnt leave them in the car. This was stated in my OP.

Other than today, ive said nothing about our interactions so it is unfair to say that we "irritate the hell out of each other" which simply isn't true

OP posts: