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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have collected all the dummies and thrown in full view of dd2 in the rubbish bin outside?

79 replies

flowerandrandd · 30/07/2013 13:13

my dd2 is 4. she is extremely strong willed, at times very difficult to deal with. We have tried to get rid of the dummy on numerous occassion, we go on holiday on sunday and i am sick to death with her constant anxiousness over where her dummy is, turning the house over to bloody find it etc.
we have tried only giving it her at night but she is the kind of child who will continually ask on and on and on and she breaks you!

anyway i am desperate for some tips because she is hysterical and is screaming that she is still little and needs it but we have to go cold turkey.... she is also shouting that she is never sleeping again and that her daddy will get them out the bin... please help me!

OP posts:
PostBellumBugsy · 30/07/2013 17:04

Don't think the OP is suggesting she is proud of herself bloodynurseries. However, she has tried to redeem the situation.

thistlelicker · 30/07/2013 17:26

I think some people don't read the whole post before commenting! Yes op has admitted she handled initially wrong, but has since rectified, but she's still getting grief! Op well done for fixing your error! Be strong!Wine For tonight ;-)

lottieandmia · 30/07/2013 17:27

'I'd be concerned as to why she feels the need for a dummy tbh.'

What a silly comment! Most children have a comforter of some sort and if they had dummies as tiny babies then they have a long history of providing comfort and I think most children are reluctant to give them up unless you do it early on. My 9 year old dd still takes her toy rabbit to bed at night and the blanket she's had since she was a baby - should I be concerned about why she needs them??

OP it sounds as if it's all worked out really well in the end - well done Smile

Original poster
flowerandrandd · 30/07/2013 17:31

Thanks for everyone's comments I know I did wrong as some posters keep telling me, I knew I ad before I posted in a way wanted to be whipped by you lot to knock some sense into me, clearly there are few mumsnetters who never make stupid rash decisions so here here to your perfectness hw wonderful it must be for!

For the rest of the supportive comments who helped me manage the situation I owe you, never been a parent before so I accept my mistakes!

Hey ho off to the ext drama! Xxx

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 30/07/2013 17:35

Yes, most children do have a comfort object but the OP states she is anxious that's what I was picking up on.

Justforlaughs · 30/07/2013 17:36

Well done OP. Hope you get some sleep tonight Wink

Original poster
flowerandrandd · 30/07/2013 17:37

Anxious was probably wrong way to describe it, more obsessive over her precious dummy, listen Valium no hard feelings I was annoyed with what you said because I was pissed off at myself for handling situation so badly but as I said it ext posts I've tried to rectify my actions ad hopefully all will be well, don't think she will wind up in therapy over it x

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 30/07/2013 17:38

Well obsessive puts a whole different slant on thingsGrin

Original poster
flowerandrandd · 30/07/2013 17:41

It does doesn't it, anxious is what I'm feeling right now on the bedtime count down! X

OP posts:
Twattybollocks · 30/07/2013 17:41

Def get the dummy fairy involved. Write a note secretly in your teensiest writing, saying thank you for the dummies they are going to baby xxxx who has just been born today and needs them because she is only a little baby. Finish off with a sprinkle of glitter and I guarantee she will be so entranced by the idea of the dummy fairy writing a letter and little baby xxxx having her dummies she will be fine. I just wish there was a bloody finger fairy for my finger sucking 7yo!

Canidae · 30/07/2013 17:48

My clearest first memory was of my mum trying to part me from my dummy! She bought me a special present (a Keypers toy) that I had after handing over all my dummies. I thought I could be clever by ripping up the box it came in so she couldn't return it and still keep my dummy! Of course that didn't work and each time I asked for it my mum would play with me with my new toy and I soon forgot.

Good luck OP!

Greydog · 30/07/2013 17:52

I've never understood the urge to get rid of dummies, as kids just grow out of them when they're ready. My boy loved his dummy, but didn't use it much when he went to nursery school. However, he kept one for emergencies, and when he came home he'd go to his room and have a quick dummy fix before tea! It just faded away after 4 years old, and no finger sucking ever!

Original poster
flowerandrandd · 30/07/2013 18:35

To say I'm shocked is an understatement! She went straight to sleep, asked me to stroke her head within 3 mins gone! In true maternal guilt style I sat and cried at how mature my little girl was to handle such a massive change x

OP posts:
ChippingInHopHopHop · 30/07/2013 18:48

Awww, bless. They look so little and so wonderfully quiet sweet when they're asleep don't they!

Are you in the UK? Just wondering if she's asleep before 6.30?

Original poster
flowerandrandd · 30/07/2013 19:51

Yes uk both my girls sleep 13 hours a night! They ask to go to bed! X

OP posts:
AmazingBouncingFerret · 30/07/2013 20:00

I feel for you flower. DD will be 4 in December and she too is obsessed with her dummy. She's had one since birth so it's bound to bring her comfort.

Well done to your DD for going straight to sleep though. The bullet has been well and truly bitten! Grin

One day I'll do it.. One day.

Altinkum · 30/07/2013 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PostBellumBugsy · 31/07/2013 10:15

Great stuff flowerandrandd - so glad your DD went to sleep no problem.

FWIW, my DD is 11 now & seems to be functioning just fine, even though she was obsessed with her dummies before the fairy made off with them.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 31/07/2013 10:39

I have a 5 year old who still sucks her thumb and it's pushing out her teeth, including her first two adult teeth. If I could cut it off and chuck it in the bin I most certainly would so I'd say you are doing the right thing to get rid of them, OP.

ChippingInHopHopHop · 31/07/2013 12:08

How did it go? Did she sleep through? Has she asked for them today?

(13 hours a night - that's pretty impressive Grin Lucky you!!)

shotofexpresso · 31/07/2013 12:29

I used the dummy fairy for mine and I told him on his third birthday, they are taken to bigger babies

and are so grateful they leave some sweets behind,

he was ok after a week.

3MonthMaid · 31/07/2013 13:00

Good for you. She'll be fine!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 31/07/2013 13:50

father xmas came for ds1's dummies when he was about 3, he put them out on the doorstep for him to give to the baby reindeer the week before xmas, had total meltdown at bedtime but he's 20 now and only cries for one sometimes now Grin

theodorakisses · 31/07/2013 15:42

Horrid thing to do. Would you set fire to a teddy or have a well sucked thumb amputated? Whatever you think, you have been quite nasty. Normal people socialise their children and allow them to move on in their own way.

PostBellumBugsy · 31/07/2013 15:53

Read the whole thread theodora before you start throwing stones. And what has socialising children got to do with dummies?

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