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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To consider not going to my big sister's wedding?

86 replies

ClaireMammaBear · 29/07/2013 23:31

I would love a bit of impartial advice on this one. My sister is getting married on 26th October and my due date is 30th September. I am really stressing myself out thinking about whether or not I will be able to attend the wedding, we live in Bedfordshire and the wedding is in Edinburgh so a very long drive/ train journey with a newborn and still recovering from labour, especially if little one is late. I definitely do not want to leave him with someone when he is that young. Loads of family members have told me it will be OK and they can travel that young but it sounds like a nightmare! They have also said not to make any decision until baby is born so I can see how I feel about it but I would rather tell her sooner rather than later so we don't waste her money and so we can cancel the hotel. To add to it my sister has also fallen out with my Dad and has asked him not to attend the wedding, I am still close to my Dad so I am worried that she will think I am siding which is absolutely not the case.

Its my sisters wedding and I would love to go but at the end of the day baby has to come first now so I am thinking it might be best to sit it out. AIBU?

OP posts:

pooka · 30/07/2013 14:12

You don't need passports for internal flights. With my dcs, only 1 has a valid passport at the moment but we fly semi-regularly to Cornwall. I take birth certificates in case, but have never needed them, just my own photo driving license.

mrsjay · 30/07/2013 14:17

there is a great bus service outside edinburgh airport to the city centre and you dont need passports to fly when we went to belfast years ago it was just me and Dhs Id we needed we didnt for the children although we had them with is,

Beastofburden · 30/07/2013 14:28

Book a hotel where you can cancel up to the last minute, then you don't have to decide.

Plan to travel in as much luxury as you can afford. Otherwise you won't fancy it, however well delivery etc go. Perhaps save money on new outfit (won't fit, if it fits now, will never fit again, will get sicked on in any case) and fly up, with a car to meet you.

Tell her that if baby comes early/ on time and if feeding and recovery go well, you'll be there. But nobody can be definite in these circs, so that's the best you can do.

Be prepared, if its your first, that you may seriously just not feel like meeting a whole load of strangers and doing a big journey. If that is how you feel, listen to your body and stay home. You shouldn't overtax yourself just after birth, it can make you vulnerable to low moods or worse.

Enjoy the baby!

cathpip · 30/07/2013 14:40

My sister travelled 250 miles for my wedding with a 4 week old, my sister was supposed to be 8 months pregnant but dc arrived very early. The only problem is if you need a section, then I would not want to travel that distance.

cottoncandy · 30/07/2013 15:14

I agree with the posters who are saying wait and see - I would have thought it would be fine unless baby is late and you have a difficult delivery. I think tell your sister you really hope to go but hope she understands that if things don't go to plan you might have to cancel.

I took DC1 to a wedding in North Yorks (we are SW London) at 2 weeks old and it was fine (exhausting but fine!), then DC2 to a christening in Manchester at 2 weeks old (harder work with DC1 in tow!!). I was bridesmaid to DSis when DC2 was 6 weeks. At my DSis's wedding a couple turned up with their baby who had been born less than 48 hours earlier (I was very impressed) so it can be done!

HolidayArmadillo · 30/07/2013 15:24

We took dd to a wedding at 4 days old and drove to Ireland when she was 6 days old {long way from our house}. See how you go. I'm sure you'll be fine. If my sister cancelled on me at t is stage I'd just assume that she didn't really want to come and I'd be quite hurt and pissed off. If after the baby was born and she was struggling I'd be much more understanding.

whoneedssleepanyway · 31/07/2013 11:11

I went to my brother's wedding when Dd2 was 2.5 weeks old, I travelled 250 miles on train to get there.

It was fine, I was worried but DD slept a lot, I BF her whenever needed in a private room they arranged and left the do at about 930 and took DDs back to sleep. Looking back I can't remember loads but am glad I went have lovely photos of us all there and think if I hadn't gone I would look back and regret missing it.

In your circa I would go.

martini84 · 31/07/2013 11:57

I would do it. Maybe fly or train it. Obviously cancel nearer tge time if physically stuggling after birth.

scarlettsmummy2 · 31/07/2013 12:00

I would go- in fact wouldn't even have considered not going after both babies, although I did have straight forward deliveries, though second degree tears.

martini84 · 31/07/2013 12:01

I would do it. Maybe fly or train it. Obviously cancel nearer the time if physically stuggling after birth.

honeytea · 31/07/2013 14:04

The only thing that would put me off is the amount of germs your new baby will come into contact with, a train journey or flight and then a wedding would scare me as October is the beginning of the winter virus season.

I felt fantastic after ds's birth, I took him out loads and to big family parties, he caught rs virus at 5 week's old and went blue because his airways clogged up, he was in hospital for a week on oxygen and very nearly needed to be tube fed.

If I have another baby in the winter I will be keeping them away from large groups of people as much as possible.

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