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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think my dh is trying to starve me?

137 replies

superbagpuss · 29/07/2013 19:08

today in my packed lunch

half a sandwich
bag of hula hoops
grapes
small tangerine
tiny twix

for dinner

one veggie burger
two scoops veggie and potato mash

this was the same size portion as DT age 4

I know I'm an adult and can buy/ cook my own food but wondered if I'm being greedy? is that another food for an adult?

OP posts:

zipzap · 29/07/2013 19:46

Depends how much is he giving himself?

If it's the same then it's very different from serving up a much bigger portion for himself...

scottishmummy · 29/07/2013 19:48

If you're so worried make your own lunch or supplement with something else

maja00 · 29/07/2013 19:48

1200 is definitely weight loss amounts. 1500-1800 is more like normal I think.

MrsMangoBiscuit · 29/07/2013 19:51

Blimey, I'd have eaten that lot by lunch time. I'm 6' tall and pregnant though, so probably not the best example (scarily high TDEE atm). I also tend to avoid bread for lunch as I always feel hungry again an hour later. Salads for me, bit of rice/cous cous, lots of lettuce and veg, with a good portion of chicken, ham, eggs etc. Then either some fruit or a chocolate bar (if no rice). Before that I'll have had 2 breakfasts though, and probably snacked on fruit.

So no, certainly not enough food for this adult, not unless the aim was to make me start eating the furniture!

MrsMangoBiscuit · 29/07/2013 19:55

FWIW 1200 calories a day wouldn't make me lose weight, it would make me ill. When I start slimming back down again, I will probably be on around 2600 cals of clean nutrious food (lean protein, tons of veg, and full fat dairy), plus extra to cover any excessive calories burnt through work outs.

GettingVerySleepy · 29/07/2013 19:59

Looks like a normal lunch to me. I would have had a whole sandwich rather than a half, but no hula hoops or twin, just a sandwich and fruit. Lately I've been having those m&s "fuller longer" salad things with stuff like salmon and couscous and beans in them. About the same calories as a sandwich but as the name suggests really do keep me full enough til dinner. Bloody expensive, though.

Talkinpeace · 29/07/2013 20:00

my normal lunch is a single slice of bread sandwich and a piece of fruit
no chocolate, no crisps

I don't snack. Ever.

Suppers are larger, but I aim for around 1000 calories all up

most people eat far more than is good for them

pointythings · 29/07/2013 20:03

OP, if your DH is hinting that he wants you to lose weight by giving you tiny portions then that's a bad thing to do - very patronising and passive-aggressive of him. Would you feel up to asking him whether that is what he's trying to do? Because it's seriously going to backfire. I certainly wouldn't put up with it.

Talkin 1000 calories is way below normal recommended intake for an adult woman. You may feel good and do well on so little food, but that doesn't mean it is good for others.

DontmindifIdo · 29/07/2013 20:03

Another one saying that sounds fine for a day, other than needing perhaps another scoop of mash and a second piece of fruit in the day. Add it with the snacks you had today, that sounds about right. however, you need to have a better breakfast.

ZingWidge · 29/07/2013 20:05

all I can add is that half a sandwich is called a HalfWidge.

Talkinpeace · 29/07/2013 20:06

pointythings
dinner is 1000 calories - lunch is around 400 - my TDEE is 1500 calories
it works for me and I'm not losing weight.
At the weekend I supplement it with wine calories ....

Onesleeptillwembley · 29/07/2013 20:11

Zing

pointythings · 29/07/2013 20:13

OK, talkin - misunderstood you. That sounds pretty sensible.

It's interesting - I've just calculated mine with brutal honesty and it explains why I've been very slowly losing weight since I stopped the second portion thing and started filling up on veg - now to limit the wine calories on weekends...

HopeForTheBest · 29/07/2013 20:17

That sounds absolutely fine.
I have "half" a sandwich for lunch, possibly with some veg or salad on the side (depending on what is in sandwhich).
Never crisps or chocolate though.

Dinner sounds completely normal - a burger, mash and some vegetables. How much more would you have wanted???

Talkinpeace · 29/07/2013 20:19

I do also fast (500 calories) 2 days a week - which leave space for that extra glass of something at the weekend ...

OP
the basic meals are small, but the snacks with which you supplement them bring your intake up to around 1900 a day.
What is your TDEE?

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 29/07/2013 20:21

That doesn't sound like too small a portion to me.

I think lots of people over-eat

ZingWidge · 29/07/2013 20:37

btw you should all feel free to use the term HalfWidge.

@ onesleep

Original poster

superbagpuss · 29/07/2013 20:38

can I add again - the choc and crisps were an unexpected treat

I eat choc once or twice a month

have just downloaded a calorie counter and discovered I have eaten 1128 calories today so not near the recommended amount and at 10 stone my bmi is fine

asked dh about the half sandwich - it was a lack of bread issue

he's not making lunch for me tomorrow as there is nothing in

I'm never sure what to do about breakfasts. I leave house at 7 so no time to eat first as its too early. no kettle, microwave or kitchen at work and food outside my budget so I am either having a piece of fruit or breakfast bars which I know aren't the healthiest things around

OP posts:

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 29/07/2013 20:40

Have you asked him why he didn't give you enough? Tomorrow, make your own then you can control what's in it. Nothing worse than being at work all day and not having enough to eat.

Original poster

superbagpuss · 29/07/2013 20:41

talkinpeace what's a TDEE?

OP posts:

Talkinpeace · 29/07/2013 20:46

superbagpuss
TDEE is "Total Daily Energy Expenditure" - it gives the right amount of calories to aim at for your height, weight, age, sex and activity levels ....
calculator here
thefitgirls.com/tdee-calculator.aspx

as the 2000 on the side of the cereal box is based on a 1950's woman doing housework all day without a washing machine, vacuum cleaner, dishwasher etc etc
it therefore overestimates how much the vast majority of women need to eat ....

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 29/07/2013 20:46

Cross posted . Right, you/DH (whoever does shopping) have to plan ahead so you have enough of the basics in, like bread. If you don't have enough bread in, could you do a salad instead?

Breakfast-wise, fruit is fine - you could always take a yogurt too. Or get up 10 mins earlier and have something before you leave.

If there's nothing in and you're on an economy drive, does that mean you'll have no lunch tomorrow?

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 29/07/2013 20:49

Can we swap husbands? Mine cooks most of our meals, but he's such a bloody feeder!

Original poster

superbagpuss · 29/07/2013 20:51

BMR 1448
tdee 1737

hope that means something to some one

soft kitty - I have emergency packet soup in my work drawer, just have to pay for hot water

and dh has just become a sahd , I'm trying not to micro manage him too much and letting him find his own way

OP posts:

sleepdodger · 29/07/2013 20:55

I think that's normal
I am size 10 and 5'5
During week usually breakfast is banana
No lunch
Large coffee like skinny latte
Proper cooked dinner ir tonight was lasagne and loads of green veg
Then I'll often everyday have a bar of chocolate whilst watching tv

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