To be fed up of this tirade.

[babybearsmummy]

A lot of you may remember my post last week R.E. the wedding cake. I didn't do it due to dp and dd being so ill. Friday came along and my dd had had a HUGE fever during the night- the ear infection she'd been diagnosed with on the wednesday had got the better of her and she was very floppy and sad and wouldn't stop crying unless she was being held my my dp and I. So we whizzed her down the doctors as soon as they opened on friday and got her checked over again and she was given stronger anti-biotics and has been dosed up with antibiotics and calpol over the weekend and is feeling a lot better now.

But as my dd was so ill, I decided not to go to my friend's wedding (dp had to pop into work a few times over the day, even though they'd given him the day off compassionate leave) So there was no way I could, let alone wanted, to leave her.

I got a text at 10am from my friend saying that, due to my lack of "compassion" in "a time of crisis" that I was no longer welcome to the wedding. So I replied that dd was not well and couldn't come anyway (no reply for the rest of the day).

But as of Saturday, I've had non stop calls to my mobile and landline, texts, emails, facebook messages from her and her mum saying how selfish I was for not properly apologising or attending the wedding to make amends. I've turned off the phone, my mobile, shut down the computer and everything, but the messages keep racking up. I just want to cry. It's like they're sat talking to each other and every time they think of something nasty to say, they have to call/ message me again. AIBU to just want to cry and want my "friend" to find something more interesting to do on her honeymoon than shout at me!! I knew this would come back to bite me on the bum.

The worst thing is, I do feel that in some respects she does deserve a good rant because the lead up to her day was a bit stressful. Yes wedding are stressful, but that does not mean you can abuse another person.

If she had stopped throwing a strop every time she couldn't get her own way then it build up would have been less stressful.

If you think about it, she asked you to make her cake. But then choose to go else where. Then at the last minute had a tantrum because the person who was going to make her cake was ill and instead of allowing the cake makers to continue she demanded asked you.

You explained as it was very last minute and your family commitments you couldn't do it. But offered her an alternative which you would be able to do. Again she had a tantrum because she couldn't get her way.

Why does she deserve to rant at you for any of this. Had she kept you on as her cake maker none of this would have happened.

Look at it this way, you've found out that this woman is poison and an utter loon. It's win win for you.

I suspect had you made the cake it wouldn't have met her standards anyway.

I can't believe anyone could get so crazy over cake!
I'm sorry you're going through this and hope your DD gets better soon.

What a selfish cow.

You spent time and effort trying to source the stuff you needed but couldn't due to short notice. You gave her alternative people who would try.

She uninvited to you her wedding and has now gone off on one at you after the wedding.

She needs a life.

God knows what else she is going to fill it with apart from bitching at you.

Shame as she has lost a good mate who did all she could to try and help at the last moment even if she wasn't able.

Bridezilla alert

Yes, good point about keeping the mad messages as evidence ...

Keep all communication but cut off. I am starving and want some nice wedding cake now though! Hope your dd is feeling better now.

Well, your "friend" has shown her true colours, and her Mother proves the adage that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!!

What terrible, terrible people. You are well rid of such a person in your life. I agree with other posters to keep all emails etc and ring 101 for advice re harrassment if this diatribe continues.

Even at my advanced years, people never cease to amaze me

Why do women become like this when they get married?! I got married and I didn't behave like an emotionally deranged, unsympathetic lunatic who thought the world resolved around her. Block your friend and I hope your dd gets better soon.

She is an utter loon and you have nothing to apologise for!

I can only echo what's already been said. Keep copies of all of this deranged correspondence and block them where you can. If they persist, I would go to the police. They sound utterly demented.

Hope you're OK, OP.

you poor thing

i must agree with the texting about the police and harassment idea. they sound thoroughly unbalanced and incredibly selfish.

Good gracious. The bride has missed the point on so many counts.

Hope DD is feeling better now.

I don't think you should respond at all.

Another vote for calling the police on the non emergency number about this campaign of harrassment.

I do not believe the OP has done anything to apologise for, the "friend" is a lunatic.

Tell her to get to fuck. Silly cow.

She and her mother sound nasty, and should have better things to do after a wedding than harrass you.
She definitely sounds like someone your life will be better off without.
Her new husband must feel he's married into a family of cake obsessed nutters.
Why do you get all the blame for the cake, what about all her other guests who also didn't bake her a cake at the last minute because they have other committments? Why are you getting the full blame for the cake thing? It makes no sense.

She's a horror. Tell her and her charming mother to leave you alone or you will flag the harassment to the police. The threat to do so should be enough.

Glad your DD is on the mend, hope she's full of beans again soon. Maybe you could make her a cake to celebrate her recovery .

I would be pleased that you didn't make the cake. I imagine she would have been just as disgraceful regardless, you were in a lose-lose situation as far as this friendship is concerned.

I think I'd send a very clear and brusque letter, along the lines of those offered by fabulously creative posters in the tidydancer thread (where her nutty former friend sent her a 'save-the-date' card, but never followed it up with an actual invitation, but did nonetheless ask her to decorate the venue for her preferred guests).

Remind her of the course of events in a calm and collected manner, so she can't accuse you of sour grapes.

I would keep the texts and messages and report.

I understand how you are feeling about this. I've been through similiar (although it was her husband not her mother who she roped in) and it's shit. You need to report this and I do suggest, ignoring her as much as you can. Try not to read her texts but put them in a folder ready for it all to be printed off.

You've dont NOTHING wrong. She's been out of order since the day she gave you less than a weeks notice to make a stupid cake.

I feel very sorry for your ex-friend really. She has behaved appallingly, but how sad must she be to be dwelling on the cake issue. She has just got married and instead of enjoying the moment all she can do is lash out at you.

Tragic really.