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AIBU?

To be fed up of this tirade.

118 replies

babybearsmummy · 29/07/2013 14:17

A lot of you may remember my post last week R.E. the wedding cake. I didn't do it due to dp and dd being so ill. Friday came along and my dd had had a HUGE fever during the night- the ear infection she'd been diagnosed with on the wednesday had got the better of her and she was very floppy and sad and wouldn't stop crying unless she was being held my my dp and I. So we whizzed her down the doctors as soon as they opened on friday and got her checked over again and she was given stronger anti-biotics and has been dosed up with antibiotics and calpol over the weekend and is feeling a lot better now.

But as my dd was so ill, I decided not to go to my friend's wedding (dp had to pop into work a few times over the day, even though they'd given him the day off compassionate leave) So there was no way I could, let alone wanted, to leave her.

I got a text at 10am from my friend saying that, due to my lack of "compassion" in "a time of crisis" that I was no longer welcome to the wedding. So I replied that dd was not well and couldn't come anyway (no reply for the rest of the day).

But as of Saturday, I've had non stop calls to my mobile and landline, texts, emails, facebook messages from her and her mum saying how selfish I was for not properly apologising or attending the wedding to make amends. I've turned off the phone, my mobile, shut down the computer and everything, but the messages keep racking up. I just want to cry. It's like they're sat talking to each other and every time they think of something nasty to say, they have to call/ message me again. AIBU to just want to cry and want my "friend" to find something more interesting to do on her honeymoon than shout at me!! I knew this would come back to bite me on the bum.

OP posts:

Report

pictish · 29/07/2013 14:36

Agree with bogeyface.

They are absolutely out of order. You have little choice but to cut them off completely. How very dare they??!!

angelos02 · 29/07/2013 14:36

She sounds horrific.

I'd at least enjoy the knowledge she is having a shit honeymoon! Nothing better to do than text!

YoniMitchell · 29/07/2013 14:37

I followed your original thread OP and feel so bad for you that she's behaving like this. She was unfair in the first place, but to carry on like this is beyond the realms of pre-wedding panic and tantrums.

She (and her mum) needs to get a life and get over it. Tell her to stop harassing you and block her number/FB page etc.

You deserve better friends. Hope your DD is feeling better.

ladymariner · 29/07/2013 14:38

She sounds absolutely deranged, did she have form for being like this before the wedding? How awful for you, no wonder you're upset.
I agree that you should keep all the messages etc and send her one tet telling her you are cutting all contact and she is not to get n touch again. Then get on happily with your life, safe in the knowledge that her dh is at this moment wondering if it's too late for an annulment!! Xx

cozietoesie · 29/07/2013 14:39

Complete fruitcakes. I think I gave the marriage a year on reading the original thread. I now give it two months.

I would actually contact 101 for advice.

pictish · 29/07/2013 14:39

Send bogey's message, and link her to this thread. Let her see exactly what people think of her behaviour over a fucking cake, that you weren't deemed good enough to make in the first place, but were expected to pull out all the stops for when it suited her...even though you were unable to.

Absolutely abysmal!

I am still picking my jaw up off the floor at her fucking audacity!!!

pictish · 29/07/2013 14:41

I have never suggested linking to a thread on here before btw, but I think she deserves it.

babybearsmummy · 29/07/2013 14:41

Thanks everyone, yes dd is feeling a lot better. Can I just take a mo before I forget to say a HUGE thank you to the lovely MNers who offered to help out by making the cake, I did pass your offers on, but they fell on deaf ears I think as I didn't receive a response not that she deserved the help in the first place IMO

Getting down to some blocking now :) And thank you for the support x

OP posts:

pictish · 29/07/2013 14:42

To clarify - send the message with a link to this thread, then block the pair of them.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 29/07/2013 14:42

You're kidding?!?!

She has no life; she should be on her honeymoon or otherwise enjoying being 'just married' but instead all she can do is harangue you. Feel sorry for her, OP, and DON'T feel bad for a second about yourself.

You'll be better off without her. Block her number/email address/unfriend her etc etc.

Pawprint · 29/07/2013 14:42

She is behaving appallingly, as is her mother. She gave you practically no notice re. the cake. Your daughter was ill (hope she's better btw) and you had to decline the invitation.

Re. the cake - her problem. If push came to shove, she could have bought some plain iced cakes from M&S and decorated the with a ribbon, plastic wedding couple etc. No one gives a hoot about stupid wedding cakes anyway.

pictish · 29/07/2013 14:44

I agree pawprint.

LemonBreeland · 29/07/2013 14:44

I can't believe she is still blaming you for this. You did nothing wrong.

Agree with a message re. harassment and block away. What a pair of bitches.

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 29/07/2013 14:44

Send Bogey's message before you block them, just to make them aware of the gravity of the situation and that you won't put up with it, reporting them if they continue.

babybearsmummy · 29/07/2013 14:45

The worst thing is, I do feel that in some respects she does deserve a good rant because the lead up to her day was a bit stressful. But I do hope that when she has children, she realises that sometimes things can't just be dropped for a deadline. I'm just confused as to how her mum who has 3 kids, can't remember back to the days of when hers were 1 year old and how you can't be tied to people or make solid plans because things can and do go wrong

OP posts:

DidoTheDodo · 29/07/2013 14:46

Babybearsmummy, you sound really nice and I am absolutely certain that the loss of your friendship is a FAR larger loss to her than to you.

I don't often want to go round and point and laugh on behalf of a MNer, but I do in this case.

MrsOakenshield · 29/07/2013 14:50

good heavens! Isn't she meant to be shagging her new husband's brains out at this moment? Rather than giving you an earful?

What an utter loon.

Hope your DD gets better soon, sounds horrid.

Xiaoxiong · 29/07/2013 14:50

In fact Pawprint if push came to shove she could have gone with her original wedding cake maker who offered to have one of their other cake makers make her cake!! It was just that one of their employees (of many) was off sick, wasn't it? And they offered her anyone else of theirs who could do it, and she went all bridezilla on them and refused?

I'm glad your DD is feeling better OP, so scary when they're small and ill and you feel so helpless.

SarahAndFuck · 29/07/2013 14:51

Is she the one who asked you to make a cake, then dropped you because he fiancé's family always use the same cake company for their occasions, then was let down and expected you to magic one out of thin air with a week's notice?

Is that right? Apologies if I have the wrong thread in mind.

And now your child is ill, she's revoked your invite because you couldn't make the cake and now she and her mother are harassing you because you didn't go to the wedding she told you you were no longer welcome at?

Barking, the pair of them. Send Bogey's message and then delete and block. But keep copies and take screen shots first.

pictish · 29/07/2013 14:53

Frankly, if that's how her mother sees fit to conduct herself, there is little mystery as to why her hideously entitled Bridezilla daughter is of the same ilk.

What a pair of losers!

EeTraceyluv · 29/07/2013 14:56

Horrible to be targeted like this though :( I would do what all the wise people on here have said and threaten advise her that her actions constitute a potentially illegal act.

StuntGirl · 29/07/2013 15:01

Astounded at the sheer audacity of some people.

Message her re: harassment, block them, and remind yourself you have a fab life and family whereas she and her family are clearly loons with nothing better to do.

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DuelingFanjo · 29/07/2013 15:01

I would actually be tempted to send one last letter/message explaining that though a request might be made for help it's rude and unfair to expect a person to automatically be able to provide that help. That you were unable to attend because of illness in the family and that even with that reason you were uninvited by text by the bride. That you passed on contacts which may have been able to help her but heard nothing back. That you now wish the harassment to stop.

then block them.

LeGavrOrf · 29/07/2013 15:02

She is a disgrace, and so is her mother.

You sounded very gracious on the last thread, she sounded like a demanding hussy with her colour schemes, different flowers requirements.

It's a motherfucking cake

How horrible to get messages and text etc. I think just delete them unread and if this caper carries on I would call the police 101 line. Horrible for you.

PedantMarina · 29/07/2013 15:06

I'd change the advice to this only:

Do NOT Delete and block. Do try to get messages shunted into a special folder that you don't have to look at. But you have evidence of harrassment, and you do not want to delete this, esp if you get more after you've told them to please stop.

All the best, OP.

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