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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to remind people who say the unemployed and sahm's are lazy and

171 replies

martini84 · 29/07/2013 13:13

Should go and get a job that on average 5 people apply for every job and this rises to 45 for entry level jobs.
Not quite that simple.

OP posts:
KellyElly · 29/07/2013 13:19

Surely that only applies to the unemployed/those looking for work? SAHMs are exactly that - women who stay at home to look after their children. That is their job.

McBalls · 29/07/2013 13:24

Yes, what Kelly said.

Sahm/shad has nothing to do with unemployment.

janey68 · 29/07/2013 13:28

Im just surprised how low your figures are actually... I would have expected more people to be applying for each job. It's a tough old world out there at the moment, with usually a lot of competition

LimitedEditionLady · 29/07/2013 13:33

In my hometown we have the highest rate of unemployment and i can tell you that there are a lot people here dont try to find employment due to little chances in life.Boredom lead to crime,alcoholism and drugs and now these people are not going to be picked over others and the vicious cycle continues

Original poster
martini84 · 29/07/2013 15:23

I agree sahms are not unemployed. However i have heard at least 1 person say on here that sahms are lazy if children are at school and they don't work. Plus on another thred a sahm was slated because she wasn't working and her dh had the audacity to claim tax credits.

OP posts:
LimitedEditionLady · 29/07/2013 15:31

Some people will never understand peoples life choices.I work two days a week and get slated at work for not working more but i want to be able to have special time with my child which i wont ever get back.

janey68 · 29/07/2013 15:33

I think this is a provocative OP personally. If you read something you found offensive on another thread, why not respond there rather than start up another thread? Hmm

I don't think any rational person would say a parent is wrong to stay at home if they can afford it and if their partner is happy with the decision too. I also think its fine for a parent of school age children to not work if they can afford it and their partner is happy with it.

( On a personal level, there would have to be extenuating circumstance for me to be happy to be sole provider and my husband to not work with school age kids, simply because it would strike me as huge imbalance. It would be more equitable for us both to work part time than one to work full time and the other to not work at all and have no childcare responsibility for 7 hours a day. But that's a personal view: as long as couples can afford it, it's their business how they run their life)

Slinkysista · 29/07/2013 15:41

I will never understand this 'working parent' versus 'stay at home parent' unease that exists here on mumsnet. Seriously, can't everyone do exactly what they want without being judged?
Come on! Get over it! It's none of your business if someone wants to work or stay at home!

I think this thread is a deliberate attempt to start a bun fight!

Justforlaughs · 29/07/2013 17:15

throws a bun at slinky (not for any reason, other than a bunfight is fun! Wink)

MrButtercat · 29/07/2013 17:21

Not all jobs lend themselves to 2 part time workers or even 2 full time workers.Jobs,people and circumstances differ- a lot!

PumpkinPositive · 29/07/2013 17:34

Perhaps OP included SAHMs because the number of applicants per job would be far higher if "lazy" SAHMs threw in the apron and decided to return to the work force en masse?

That used to be the old argument against women working, I believe. "Taking jobs away from the men."

LindyHemming · 29/07/2013 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hadababygirl · 29/07/2013 17:56

I don't think there are many lazy people.

I do however think that for many people, particularly those who have been on benefits a while, it comes as a shock to discover how little most jobs pay.

The motivation to get out of bed to work a long and often dull day at work for what amounts to quite literally an extra pound or two is not easily found.

pianodoodle · 29/07/2013 18:50

Very true euphemia

I'm in the possibly less common position of not being able to afford to work f/t as the childcare would eat it. It's all good though as I really wanted to stay home while babies were wee anyway but the bonus is it actually makes financial sense for us :)

I do tutor part time in the evenings and will probably build the hours up as and when the right time comes.

OP I know the post you are talking about really just ignore this stuff. No one I know in RL thinks this way. As far as I'm concerned my baby is happy, my husband respects and appreciates what I do and that's the main thing.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm · 29/07/2013 19:23

Funnily enough, our small market town seems to have provided paid employment for about 10,000 migrant workers, in the last three years.

Still plenty of natives signing on though...... Hmm

LimitedEditionLady · 29/07/2013 19:39

Pianonoodle thats the same position id be in,whatever extra i gained from changing to full time to part time would go straight to nursery and id end up....eith the same wage as part time.its a no brainer.

DameFanny · 29/07/2013 19:43

janey if someone is claiming tax credits that's because the government recognise that the wage they're on is not a living wage.

Now, they can address this by making the minimum wage a living wage, or they could do what they're doing, which is to give businesses a tax break by making up the difference in tax credits - and encouraging the benefits bashing of anyone who struggles as a result

Whereisegg · 29/07/2013 19:48

I bet you live near me Things.....

BadRoly · 29/07/2013 19:51

THAT's IT EUPHEMIA! Grin

It's all about the choice! I'm aware that many parents would rather be sahp than work and vice versa but feminism does not mean women can do it all - it means they can have a choice*!

*obviously this is in an ideal world where there is low/no unemployment, no glass ceilings and career breaks are not the end of the world.

Oh and I do realise I have gone off on a tangent but I was very excited by Euphemia's post ^^ and I am bored on the landing waiting for dc3&4 to stfu and go to sleep.

morethanpotatoprints · 29/07/2013 19:52

Hello martini84.

Its an argument that only exists on Mnet, as far as I can see.
Anybody who believes a person who doesn't work for somebody else or earn a wage is necessarily lazy, aren't worth the time of day imo.
I was slated because my dh gets tax credits, some people live in their own little bubble believing what they read. I see it for the ignorance that it is and have given up explaining how it actually works, some people are just thick.
The "we pay for your kids" brigade will be along soon.

PeriodMath · 29/07/2013 19:59

I think if you're a healthy SAHM with healthy school-age children and you're claiming benefits then you should get a job. Otherwise you are asking the rest of the working population to fund your lifestyle choice.

If you're not claiming benefits and your partner pays tax then do as you please.

morethanpotatoprints · 29/07/2013 20:07

Bingo-

PeriodMath.

I was hoping to have the chance to thank you and all the other people who are funding my lifestyle choice. Thanks
I thought it was my dh who was paid for the work he does that mostly paid for my choices in life. Silly me.

MsVestibule · 29/07/2013 20:10

I'm a SAHM and both of my children will be school age in September. We don't claim tax credits. I'll be starting to look for work soon.

Two of my friends are SAHMs with school age children, both claim hundreds of pounds per months in child tax credits. It doesn't make financial sense for either of them to work, so they don't. If I was in their situation, I probably wouldn't either. However, I do think there is something wrong with a system that makes it pay to SAH, and I'm normally a bleeding heart liberal.

PeriodMath · 29/07/2013 20:12

Do you claim benefits MoreThan?

If not, read my second sentence.

janey68 · 29/07/2013 20:12

Yes, the system is crap. But changing, thankfully.