Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pray that smug mothers of little girls are ...

300 replies

ReallyTired · 28/07/2013 23:22

....sent a beautiful bouncing baby boy torando as their second child.

Those of us with two children realise that nature has a huge affect on a child's personality and ablity to behave.

I have two children and both of them are lovely now. However my son was permamently on the move as a two year old and we used to call him captain chaos. He was the sort of kid who would be into every cupboard, had the wooden spoon in the baby olympics or baby ivory league. (ie he had no desire to read Pride and Prejudice at the age of 2)

My daughter has a very different temperment. She is far more compliant, loves drawing jigsaws and isn't a muck magnet. I am sure that if she had been my first I would have been unbearably smug.

Boys take longer to grow up and my son at the age of eleven is lovely most of the time. He is still a muck magnet, but he has plenty of friends and doing well at school.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 29/07/2013 09:21

What a very odd OP and some massive generalisations.

Goldendandelion · 29/07/2013 09:22

I have both boys and girls and whilst all my kids have been fairly well behaved, the boys have been far easier than the girls.

larrygrylls · 29/07/2013 09:22

A lot are buy I know some girls who would give our slightly hyper son a run for his money....as I said, it is a very bad idea to go from populations to individuals. Even sillier the other way though (from individual to population): "my girl is a tomboy and my son is easy so no gender differences...".

WidowWadman · 29/07/2013 09:26

My second daughter is exactly like the 'captain chaos' the OP describes. It's nothing to do with gender but all with personality

Toadinthehole · 29/07/2013 09:34

I have two DDs.

Elder DD is a stereotypical girly girl. She gets out her dolls' house. And her dolls. Then she gets random objects out so they can have furniture. Then she gets other things out to have a tea party. Then she gets bored and changes into her leotard and does some ballet. Then she reads a book. Then another book.. and then another until someone says she needs to put things away before anything else comes out. Cue two hours of moaning, grizzling, complaining, procrastinating and so on on her part, and threats of cruel and unusual punishment on mine.

Younger DD is a tomboy. She runs around outside and gets muddy, perhaps looks at insects. When asked to put things away she just says "OK" and does it.

I know which of the two I find the more manageable and it's not elder DD, although she can be very charming.

melika · 29/07/2013 09:39

OP you have me onside. There are a couple of relatives who have just had girls and one in particular would have had the biggest shock if she had had a boy (she dresses them in pink all the time).

They just don't know do they?

VivaLeBeaver · 29/07/2013 09:44

I'm smug. My dd is very well behaved and always has been. I put it down completely to my parenting skills.

I decided not to have another in case this caused my illusion to be shattered. Grin

Featherbag · 29/07/2013 09:45

Well I'm a smug mother of a little boy, so there! He's gorgeous, all blue eyes, olive skin and blond hair, he mostly sleeps right through (and has done since he was 9mo) and he has the temperament of an angel, always waking with a smile on his face. I can't go out without strangers commenting on how beautiful/friendly/happy he is.

I'm due DS2 in a few months however, and know that the rules dictate that he will be a little monster to pay me back for the easy first!

mrsjay · 29/07/2013 09:59

MY dds are well behaved but also a lot of their boy friends are well behaved perhaps the boys havn't been brought up to believe oh boys wil be boys

Bowlersarm · 29/07/2013 09:59

I know what you're saying OP.

My eldest DS was a human tornado. I didn't know what had hit me. After he was born I didn't have time to sit down until he started school.

I had several friends with their pfb, little girls, and they were smug, they really were. Whilst my boy was causing chaos, and i was seriously questioning the fact that i was incapable of parenting at all their girls were behaving (generally) in a much calmer manner.

I did go on to have two more DSes though, so couldn't have been all bad.

And DS 1 is now a gorgeous teen

Myliferocks · 29/07/2013 10:03

I have 3 girls and 2 boys.
They all are completely different. My girls could and can cause just as much chaos, if not more, than my boys.
It comes down to a child's personality not gender.

MummytoMog · 29/07/2013 10:42

Say wha? My PFB is a girl, and although she was a very easy baby, she's been a demanding, opinionated, energetic, meddling, forceful little madam since she was eighteen months old. My second born son was a needy baby and is the most laid back chillaxed two year old the world has ever seen. I mean I am a smug mother of a little girl, because my kids are obviously beautiful and brilliant and perfect etc etc etc but I don't really think wishing a 'torando' on me is all that fair. What is a torando anyway? Is it something they have in the Baby Ivory League? Does it involve poaching bull elephants?

Guerrillacrochet · 29/07/2013 11:08

I think a 'Torando' is a type of SUV isn't it? With bullbars on the front.
Seriously though, are you Steven Moxton OP? Because this reminds me of that 'evolutionary psychology' shite that he spouts. Absolute piffle.

Madmum24 · 29/07/2013 11:19

Anyone who is smug with their PFB is unreasonable, regardless of the babies sex.

I remember a friend was extremely smug about her very calm, content PFB (who happened to be a girl). Friend would openly declare this was down to her passing on very relaxed hormones through her breastmilk etc. As proof of this she would relate the story of her PFB weeing on the duvet when she was several months old, and her husband being astonished that she hadn't shouted/smacked the baby (!) That is how unbelieveably calm she was.

Fast forward a year and another baby, (happened to be a boy) and all the calm hormones in the world could not have contented this little one. Thankfully friend stopped spouting off with her "I'm a wonderfully calm parent talks.

hamab · 29/07/2013 11:33

No, I don't think gender comes into it. It's personality. Just because your dd is like that, doesn't mean they all are.

cushtie335 · 29/07/2013 11:40

I have a DS and a DD, you're sweeping generalisations are utter nonsense. But here's another one seeing as you like them so much, wait until your dd is a teenager, you might wish for an uncomplicated, straightforward lad to take her place.

Snuffleupicus · 29/07/2013 11:46

I think yanbu. Apart from the gender bit.
One of my co mothers group attendees has a 3yr old who sleeps 13 hours a night ( I shit you not), has four hour naps at the weekend, never argues, never gets out if bed at night and eats every scrap of food that is put in front of her. As time has gone by she has decided this is not luck but good parenting.

She takes it upon herself to advise the rest of us how we do everything wrong, including toilet training which she has conveniently forgotten that her mother did while she was away for three weeks.

The rest of us gleefully look forward to her second child.
Cannot. Freakin. Wait.

SoupDragon · 29/07/2013 11:49

I read the OP, thought "What a load of (metaphorical) bollocks" and gave up.

cory · 29/07/2013 11:54

I would have been a very smug parent indeed if I had only had ds: easygoing, compliant, stayed where you put him with a sunny smile on his face. But it was too late by then- my confidence had already been shattered by his big sister.

If dd generally refrained was restrained from causing mayhem in public, it was because I bloody watched her like a hawk. So I suppose I could be a little smug about that. But then I'd have done the same with a boy.
(neighbours, please not: I am sorry about your pretty flowers but I was in hospital and her grandma just wasn't quick enough off the mark)

My friend had it the other way round: her easy child was her eldest so she did have time to enjoy the smug stage. They were both boys though so not sure where that leaves the OP. And the eldest boy was also very advanced in reading and all academic/sit-nicely-and-listen skills.

Caster8 · 29/07/2013 11:54

If you had 5 of each, you could then perhaps make some accurate generalisations?

cory · 29/07/2013 11:55

I have to admit I was never terribly impressed by friends who let their lo's batter everything in sight because "he is a boy and what can you do?"; I always used to think "well, I took my dd straight home at the first sign of trouble and I don't see why you can't do the same".

cushtie335 · 29/07/2013 11:57

^^ A good friend of mine used to refer to people with 1 perfect dc as "fucking amateurs".

Fakebook · 29/07/2013 11:58

I was a smug mother of a little girl. Then I had my son. I'm still a smug mother, but of a little girl and a little toddler boy. They're both as bad as each other tbh and have very similar traits when it comes to running around and screaming, except DS breaks household furniture that dd wouldn't have touched at his age (blinds, cupboard handles). They both sit down and play together or both go outside and play together and both sleep amazingly well. Oh and they are both little social butterflies.

pommedechocolat · 29/07/2013 12:15

Haha I love 'fucking amateurs'

kilmuir · 29/07/2013 12:19

surely your cohort is too small to draw any conclusions? i have a mixture of genders and they all have good and bad days

Swipe left for the next trending thread