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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wibu to complain about this man at my grandfather's care home?

78 replies

Auntfini · 28/07/2013 13:11

My grandfather is in a care home as he is in a wheelchair and kept getting poorly so he moved into a care home about 6 months ago. Since then he's gone really downhill and is very forgetful and paranoid. He's always getting infections and he never drinks enough as he just doesn't think to.

I was there the other day and as I was leaving I overheard one of the carers laughing (in a shocked/embarrassed way) that she had forgotten to take drinks/tea round. It was 4pm. The woman in charge of the place said 'don't worry, just take anyone a drink if they ask for one otherwise they won't mention it'.
Well, to be honest, the elderly people in the home aren't likely to ask for a drink, they're mostly all there because they have a lot of different care needs and many suffer from dementia etc. lots are in chairs and I think they need to be reminded to drink.

I'm so cross about it as I think it's really poor, who knows how often that happens? Am I being totally over the top or would it be right to make a complaint.

My grandad keeps saying other things like they've bruised him/ scratched him, left him without dinner, left him in a dark room for hours (he cant push his chair easily alone) etc but I have to take that sort of thing with a pinch of salt as he's very unsure of his own thoughts now and I think he probably exaggerates, but now I'm worried they aren't caring for these people properly.

On the other hand I might be totally overthinking it! I am normally a very reasonable person but it all keeps going through my head.

Thanks for reading that, longer than I thought it would be!

OP posts:
BrianTheMole · 28/07/2013 13:50

Its not acceptable. And why are they understaffed? Crap wages, poor training and low moral are likely possibilities. Some homes manage to hang on to their staff for years by addressing the above issues. And others treat it as purely a money making exercise without giving a shite about the residents. Its not your problem. But finding the right care home is.

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking · 28/07/2013 14:31

Please complain op and also ak for fluids to be next to your gf's side at all times.
This is not acceptable.
Hope you get the sorted op.

MammaTJ · 28/07/2013 14:36

Absolutely complain! I sometimes think care work is putting it in one end, then cleaning it up as it comes out the other!

The home I work in, there are definite drinks rounds but staff also pop in and ask service users if they would like juice around every half an hour in this heat!

There is also a very simple system in place, writing a list and crossing tasks off as they get done, to ensure things like this don't get forgotten!

monkeymamma · 28/07/2013 14:42

This is a disgrace. Older people are incredibly vulnerable to dehydration and in this weather they should be taking every opportunity to get some fluids into their residents. Quite aside from that (serious) issue, a nice cup of tea is one of life's great pleasures (I speak as a northerner) and I imagine for a lot of people in a care home situation it is one the few pleasures left to them, it must also help them orient themselves with regard to what time of day it is etc. Please speak out about this and make sure they are taking better care of their poor residents.

SarahAndFuck · 28/07/2013 14:42

My Grandad also had a UTI, and the receptionist/triage nurse at the doctors surgery refused to make him an appointment and instead sent a prescription to the chemist for him.

For three weeks he tried to make and was refused an appointment before finally telling us he was ill. My Dad insisted on an appointment and he was admitted to hospital, where he died later the same day.

They need to make sure the residents have access to regular fluids. Complain.

MammaTJ · 28/07/2013 14:51

I should also mention, we have little tricks to get extra fluids in to those who need them. If someone is likely to put a glass down and forget to drink, we take the table away for a short time, long enough for them to finish a drink. They have the drink in their hand and often, no matter how severe the dementia, the reflex is to drink it. Obviously, this is only for people who don't like to be nagged reminded to drink. Jellies and other 'wet' food also give 'sneaky' drinks. Grapes are a good fruit, nice to pick at, put on a table beside him.

Auntfini · 28/07/2013 14:51

Sarahandfuck, so sorry to hear that awful story.
He has been more disorientated since he went to the home than he was previously. I do keep asking them to make sure he's drinking as he just isn't bothered and also, since going to the toilet is such a faff, he's more likely to turn down a drink.

OP posts:
Auntfini · 28/07/2013 14:53

Mammatj (auto corrected to mammary!) I wish you were looking after him

OP posts:
Roshbegosh · 28/07/2013 14:54

No it isn't acceptable at all, fluids are a priority and that's all there is to it. They really need to do better for your Grandfather, like I said earlier I would be furious.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 28/07/2013 14:59

Thank you Montybojangles for the cqc link. I have had concerns about the care home my Granddad is in for a few weeks. We are fortunate in that my Granddad is quite able bodied and goes out of the home a lot during the day.
But I was beginning to worry about the state the home was in (surfaces sticky to touch, strong smell of bodily fluids - when it used to smell floral and lovely, staff attitude has changed, no manager in situ).
I am also starting to worry about the safety of the other residents, predominantly the bed bound ladies who can't talk, and those with dimenture. I worry that their care could be substandard now, and they can't speak up for themselves.
My family are so concerned by all of the above that we are looking in to the other housing options and hope to have him moved soon.
I was wondering what to do about it. I have now submitted a form, and shall be following the websites guide to complaining. Thank you.
Sorry for gate crashing OP.

Auntfini · 28/07/2013 15:00

Hope that things get sorted little princess. That doesn't sound good at all

OP posts:
aliasjoey · 28/07/2013 15:04

Dehydration can also lead to confusion!

It is disgraceful. Our nursing home seems to spend more on goats and guinea pigs (for the residents to 'play with' Hmm ) than money on actual nursing staff.

We have to change the culture of neglect, or it will still be the same when it's our turn to need care...

Twirlyhot · 28/07/2013 15:06

CQC are unfit for purpose.

It is totally unacceptable. UTIs cause confusion etc in older patients without any issues with dementia. It's basic care.

Madamecastafiore · 28/07/2013 15:07

Missing a drinks round is not a mistake. Believe me in those homes the smallest thing is a big issue for the patients. Lots of them will have feck all to look forward to and a break in the monotony when a lady comes round with the drinks trolley means so so much to them.

In this weather it is not just hot drinks, I know cyclists who always drink tea after serious races not cold drinks as apparently are better for rehydration so even a cup of tea is a bloody good way of getting fluid in.

They are majorly failing in their duty of care too and I would do my upmost to make sure that they are investigated. Do not go tot the home. Complain to the CQC, an email can be sent and they are followed up seriously and quickly. Detail the forgetting about the drinks rounds and your other concerns and they will have to be brought up with the staff in question or the care home could be in serious trouble. I know where I work (not geriatric but CAMHS) the minute we get an email from the CQC or are expecting a visit the whole place is on tenterhooks until the issue is solved or the visit is over and we have their report.

Madamecastafiore · 28/07/2013 15:08

There have been issues with the CQC but most care agencies will take the threat of an investigation seriously. It's like saying all nurses are shit, some are, some aren't but to tar the whole lot of them with the same brush is not helpful.

Rosa · 28/07/2013 15:13

Lady in charge saying' don't bother ' what other corners is she cutting ?...Yes complain and loudly .

Auntfini · 28/07/2013 15:14

I will email CQC tomorrow. Am I best just doing that rather than ringing the home?

OP posts:
zoobaby · 28/07/2013 15:18

Adult Social Care at your local council will also have someone responsible for overseeing care homes (private and council run). If the council commissions any beds in the care home (i.e has placed a resident there) then they'll have even greater influence.

Definitely follow this up!

Twirlyhot · 28/07/2013 15:19

I don't think the people are shit I think the organisation is unfit for purpose. Not just their (mis)handling of some major failures but the reports of bullying from within the organisation which suggest a culture that's not conducive to speaking up.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 28/07/2013 15:20

Thanks Auntfini, I hope your Grandfathers home is sorted soon too.

zoobaby · 28/07/2013 15:21

Call the care home as well. Ask to speak to the home manager as often there will be team leaders or assistant managers for each set of team members. Hopefully the lady who said that will be asst only.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved · 28/07/2013 15:37

Agree with all others posting here - can sound like a small thing but is actually a massively worrying thing.

Please complain strongly and follow it up, for your grandpa but also for the others in that place.

MammaTJ · 28/07/2013 16:01

So do I Auntfini. I should also add please tell him if he doesn't drink enough, he is more likely to need to go to the loo more often. If he isn't drinking enough, the urine becomes more concentrated, then irritates the bladder more, which leads to needing to go to the toilet more. If you explain that and he can understand it, it may encourage him to drink more.

Roshbegosh · 28/07/2013 16:07

Make sure your complaint is in writing too and keep a copy.

AnyoneforTurps · 28/07/2013 17:25

I think you should allow the care home a chance to respond to the complaint before involving the CQC. Obviously fluids are very important but the fact that the member of staff mentioned that she had forgotten the drinks round in a shocked way suggests that this isn't a regular occurrence. And you don't know why she forgot: there may have been a death or medical emergency that distracted the staff. If the boss knew that the nurse had had a traumatic afternoon, this may have been why she didn't come down on her heavily for forgetting. And most care homes do supper early so the boss may have known that it was only a short time till the next drinks were served.

It's easy to criticise care homes. And I've certainly been to some rubbish ones (as a GP) but the hard fact is that we don't pay them adequately; councils have had to slash care budgets in recent years and they are very understaffed. Most of the remaining staff are demoralised. I worked in lots myself when a student and it's a phenomenally hard job. The care issues in most homes reflect the failings of society as a whole to value its old people, not necessarily a lack of care by the staff themselves. They only have one pair of hands.

I'd ask for a copy of the home's policy on hydration and assurance that this incident will not happen again. If you don't get a satisfactory answer, involve the CQC, but give the home a chance to explain any special circumstances first.