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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu to complain about this waitress?

161 replies

HeffalumpTheFlump · 27/07/2013 20:32

Dh thinks I shouldn't have complained, I think I definitely should have, who's right?

Went to a Toby carvery, meal was fine and service by the waitress fine until we finished the meal (they don't do much as its a buffet thing). We then obviously wanted the bill so I tried to get the waitress' attention. When she came near the table I made eye contact twice to try and get her to come over. She smiled and looked away then left. Next time she came near I made eye contact and raised my hand, nothing. I ended up getting up and walking over to her at another table and standing waiting for her to finish with them then asking.

We waited another 10 minutes for her to bring the bill. Dh had the card in his hand, and she had the card machine in hers, but before we could ask to use it she had gone. She just put the bill on the table and walked straight off. I then started the rediculous process of trying to get her attention again, I even stood up and called out excuse me after three or four failed attempts. She completely ignored us. This had been going on for another ten minutes.

Finally I managed to get her attention and asked for the card machine, waited another five or so minutes and she came back with it. Dh didn't want me to say anything, but I seriously couldn't stop myself. I was tired and wanted to go home, not play this rediculous game of catch the waitress.

I said that I had been trying to get her attention for ages, that we had wanted to pay by card and she had the machine etc and that it had taken a rediculous amount of time to get the bill sorted.

Her reply: "Well I do have a lot of other customers to attend to, I didn't see or hear you." No apology, and then she just walked off once the payment had gone through. IMO the only acceptable response to this sort of complaint is surely an apology?? I feel it's her job to be attentive to her customers needs, and she had seen plenty of times that we had finished our meals and would obviously need to sort the bill.

Dh thinks I shouldn't have complained and that it would have been enough to simply not leave her a tip. Obviously I don't agree. Aibu?

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 27/07/2013 21:52

Yeah ok then.Malcolm, whatever you say.

I have no clue who you are, but you seem to know a lot about me.

Original poster
HeffalumpTheFlump · 27/07/2013 21:53

Ok so maybe I wasn't 100% U, if only in that she should have apologised. I do see that she may have been busier than she looked though.

Lovelychops - hehe I don't mind Geoff!! It rhymes with Heff :D

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 27/07/2013 21:55

You should have started to leave without paying. Someone would have come running then.

Of course you're not being unreasonable; who wants to wait ages to pay once they're ready to go?

Original poster
HeffalumpTheFlump · 27/07/2013 21:55

Malcolm - nope definitely still alive and haven't yet received any poo... Still a tad confused re the disgusting/ lose issue though!

OP posts:
MikeLitoris · 27/07/2013 21:57

Trying to get eye contact was a bit pointless unless she is supposed to be a mind reader.

She should have apologised.

And as for the spelling issue I can only imagine it was pointed out as the op of a sort of similar style thread made the same spelling mistake.

Stealth Troll hunting.

xylem8 · 27/07/2013 22:00

If you all stand up and start putting your jackets on, waiters are there in a shot!

Angelfootprints · 27/07/2013 22:00

Its a bit strange as she obviously saw you as she smiled... Unless she thought you were just waving hello?

MalcolmTuckersMum · 27/07/2013 22:04

You are quite wrong Mike. Quite quite wrong. I have no idea at all who or what troll you are referring to or why you are even introducing that element.

I've apologised to the OP for my flippancy and she seems to emerged from it unscathed and not urgently in need of counselling. Grin

Original poster
HeffalumpTheFlump · 27/07/2013 22:06

I think i've just got it all wrong with waitresses! I thought trying to get eye contact was the non verbal signal that you need something, and if this fails raising a hand? It's always worked before!

And re standing up as though to leave, I would panic they would think we were running off without paying! Or is that the point?

OP posts:
Angelfootprints · 27/07/2013 22:11

I think most cafe, restaurant, shop staff etc would realise a customer trying making eye contact means they need help. Its obvious.

Growlithe · 27/07/2013 22:12

This is a real pet hate of mine. Toby Carveries are really really hot places. I think they do it deliberately to get you out as quick as they can.

The waiters often don't have to do much. You can't book, so more often than not you have to wait for a table in the bar area so already have your drink.

It's a self service all you can eat carvery, so more often than not you won't want a starter or dessert.

All the waiters have to do on a lot of tables is ask how many carveries, then provide the bill and take the payment. And this last bit all too often seems to be beyond them, so you are left sitting there in their baking hot restaurant just wanting to pay.

I went for loads of Toby Carvery meals a few years ago because my late father loved them. We went through this charade so many times. DH and I used to play a game where the tip would be inversely proportionate to the mount of time we sat there waiting to pay.

YANBU

MikeLitoris · 27/07/2013 22:12

Ok

Original poster
HeffalumpTheFlump · 27/07/2013 22:13

Angel - I thought so too, but a few posters have pointed out that this was a waste of time?

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 27/07/2013 22:14

I don't think I would wait for a bill if I could pay at the till and leave.

Original poster
HeffalumpTheFlump · 27/07/2013 22:18

Usual, that was what I wanted to do, but i really wasn't sure if you could. The bar at the one by me is completely separate to the rest of the restaurant with a separate entrance. Not like at the harvester where it's part of the restaurant iyswim. I should have checked.

OP posts:
Angelfootprints · 27/07/2013 22:18

A waste of time?

Well just today thats how we got 2 different shop assistants to help us! Just looked at them, waited for them to acknowledge us, smiled and then "excuse me, but..."

I have been doing this for years. I learnt it from parents. Who have also done it for years!

usualsuspect · 27/07/2013 22:20

Sometimes it's not clear, but I would have sent DP to ask Grin

Angelfootprints · 27/07/2013 22:23

Dont beat yourself up Heffalump. Most people would think its reasonable to expect to pay the bill at your table in an table service restaurant!

Original poster
HeffalumpTheFlump · 27/07/2013 22:23

I will admit that dh was happy to wait, it was the crabby pregnant woman me that had the problem. Which possibly links back to what pianodoodle was saying about time going slower and people being more annoying when you are pregnant haha. Grin

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 27/07/2013 22:25

It was a carvery that's not really table service is it?

ubik · 27/07/2013 22:27

YABU for going to a Toby Carvery.

Waitress probably fed up

Original poster
HeffalumpTheFlump · 27/07/2013 22:31

Sorry ubik, why is it U to go to a toby carvery? What's wrong with them? They do a cracking roast!

OP posts:
Angelfootprints · 27/07/2013 22:32

Oh for goodness sake Usual! Well its half table service then, so you think you be in for at least half a chance! Grin

Though card reader does suggest table service to me...

usualsuspect · 27/07/2013 22:36

Well I dunno, I don't think.I've ever been to toby carvery. But I would assume it wasn't a formal table service type place.

Most carveries you pay at the till.

usualsuspect · 27/07/2013 22:37

Do you spell carveries like that?

It doesn't look right.