Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shit...fanjo issue

31 replies

Tittypulumpcious · 27/07/2013 20:28

After being away for a while with work the lady garden has bloomed. I got home and decided to prune it. I used veet and whilst waiting for it to work a friend called. I decided to take the call and proceeded to talk for longer than the allocated veet time on the edge of the bath..totally engrossed in conversation once I'd hung up I realised not only had I been yapping for 20 minutes I'd also crossed my legs.

I have a half a bald fanjo and a smear test tomorrow.

Do I a) trim my remaining clump or b) take the whole thing off and pray the gyno doesn't think I'm a weirdo?

OP posts:
Original poster
Tittypulumpcious · 27/07/2013 20:30

This should be in wwyd..sorry!

OP posts:
Forgetfulmog · 27/07/2013 20:32

So it's not a "shit in the fanjo" situation then Grin

On an aside my iPhone auto corrects fanjo to Ghandi Grin

Sorry, not very helpful to your situation!

Wishfulmakeupping · 27/07/2013 20:32

It's all got to come off now OP

deleted203 · 27/07/2013 20:33

I think I'd take the whole lot off, personally. Grin

WafflyVersatile · 27/07/2013 20:33

I was going to say there should not be shit in your fanjo.

take the whole thing off. Or just tell the gyno the story. It'll help you relax.

CalamityJ · 27/07/2013 20:37

All off! Much better than a bizarre half bald fanjo!

emsyj · 27/07/2013 20:38

Just take the whole lot off. My ladygarden is, ahem, rather sparse at the best of times so I don't think she will think you're weird for having yours extensively pruned.

Original poster
Tittypulumpcious · 27/07/2013 20:39

HE! It's a he! It's all coming off and tomorrow I'll keep my socks on and just look odd!

OP posts:
Whippetwarmer · 27/07/2013 20:40

A smear test on a Sunday? They must be dedicated round your way!

Onesleeptillwembley · 27/07/2013 20:41

Smear on a Sunday?

Original poster
Tittypulumpcious · 27/07/2013 20:43

Whippetwarmer you're right! Monday..I've been in the USA for 2 weeks I only got back early this morning, I don't know my arse from my elbow. Ok so I'll just take it all off dh is finding it very funny.

OP posts:
JamieandtheMagicTorch · 27/07/2013 20:44

What stae is your skin in, Op?

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 27/07/2013 20:44

State

Layl77 · 27/07/2013 20:45

When I go they give you a paper towel thingy I put over my 'area' so they only actually see the -legs akimbo- region. I wouldn't worry about the top!

inneedofrain · 27/07/2013 20:48

Take it all off and moisturise like a mad women!!!!!!

Gyno won't give a shit!

littlewhitebag · 27/07/2013 20:56

Some years ago i had a hysterectomy. In advance of this i waxed my fanjo as i had been told they would shave it and i really wanted to avoid it. The result was that i looked like a plucked chicken and the gynae was very perturbed by this when he came to do his marker pen thing. He thought i had something wrong with my fanjo area.

OP - do whatever is needed to make it look normal. You don't need he gynae questioning your fanjo at times like this!

PleasePudding · 27/07/2013 21:32

For your own peace of mind you must balance this one out.

However I used to nurse and never noticed anyone's pubes unless I actually needed to do something about it. However before DC3 in March I had a Brazilian out of concern for the surgeon (and also the midwife armed with the bic) I even considered a vajazzle to lighten the mood and out of curiosity.

It's weird how even though everyone knows medical professionals probably don't notice it's still weighs one the mind.

Out of interest do you find Veet itchy? I found it seriously itchy the first time but then so was waxing.

Angelfootprints · 27/07/2013 23:16

Draw a smiley face on the bald bit.

He certainly wont be thinking about the hair then.

Infact do the drawing in such a way that the remaining hair becomes the smiley faces head hair.

SuperiorCat · 27/07/2013 23:18

OMG be careful and put something soothing on your skin as you can get chemical burns from veet

CharlieAlphaKiloEcho · 27/07/2013 23:21

Draw a stickman with a lawn mower.

Angelfootprints · 27/07/2013 23:27

Ha ha! I vote stickman!

fakebook · 27/07/2013 23:34

Buy or make your own merkin?

Balaboosta · 28/07/2013 07:51

Make the stick man a woman and give her hedge trimmers. Tell the gynae 'don't mind her, she's just the lady gardener'

Onetwothreeoops · 28/07/2013 07:55

Balaboosta Grin

Original poster
Tittypulumpcious · 28/07/2013 13:40

I have a bald fanjo that looks like a plucked chicken. Thanks for the stickman suggestions!! Like someone said gyne won't care..then neither shall I!!

OP posts: