To want to make myself believe in god?

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I have always been very logical and so despite going to a Christian primary school, having a very religious mum(though not in a pushy way) and reading the bible when I was younger(the story version I was a bit of a book worm) I have never really got my head around how god could be possible.

But I really wish I had the extra "something" that some people seem to find by believing in god. I'm probably not making much sense, but I wish I could get myself to feel like there's somebody watching out, that there's something after death, that everything happens for what'd ultimately a good reason/what's meant to be so on.

AIBU to try going to church for a bit even though I don't believe in god? Or am I just being silly, is it something you can't 'make' yourself feel?

Yes, WMittens but that is the sort of joke that anti-religious people would use to portray religious people as stupid, when no one in reality would refuse help to be saved.

Yeah, you've missed the point.

headinhands, yes you have created the meaning, but for the believer, the creation and birth contained the meaning. The meaning pre-existed and the purpose did not have to be strived for as it was innate and inexplicable and given by a spiritual force in a spiritual dimension.

'Yeah, you've missed the point.'

Yes it was a funny joke, but what is the point that I missed?

zatyaballerina - you may have read my post waaaaay up there ^ somewhere - regarding having a Catholic upbringing ... and yet I have to say (and it pains me to say it), I agree with your post, there is a lot of truth in it. The Philippines is a prime example, hugely empoverished country but incidence of practicing Catholics is probably the biggest, per capita, in the world. Perhaps a function of poverty is that people do need a vision for hope, and the message of religion is all about being on a journey towards a better place.

Hence, as I said above, some aspects of 'my' religion I am uneasy about. I do not mean, in the above context, that I don't want religion to give hope - quite the opposite. Rather, that I would wish for disadvantaged and disenfranchised people to have a path to a better life here and now on earth, to alleviate suffering and not have to wait until the next life. Oh dear, has that exposed me now?... "I wannit and I wannit NOW!!"

Still, somehow, deep in my psyche, my belief has endured all this hand-wringing and fear that if I delve too deeply and question too hard or logically, I will be on a very rocky road.

The mention of Richard Dawkins (in another post) set my teeth on edge - he's a self-opinionated old kill-joy, likes the sound of his own voice far too much! [hmmm].

I got the joke! I dont normally get jokes but I got that one.

A similar one I know is
A Christian wanted to win the lottery, but didnt. Asked God why not. God said "well you have to buy a lottery ticket"!

In other words, we have to help ourselves too. True.

Again, may not be in the best Christian taste, but ok I think.

I do think, for some people daisy, that too much delving isnt good for some Christians.
All Christians are different. What suits one, doesnt necessarily suit another.

Thanks for answering Caster8.

I never lose hope, even if I've lost faith (or never had it, actually). I live a non-religious life now, but am always working on my morals actions in the world.

In my reflective moments, I often think that if there is no God, and no bigger plan, then death (actual end-of-everything death) will actually come as a relief, because I can't bear the world as it is, though I am very privileged as an individual. Just feel so despairing about the level of suffering that always has existed (and looks to continue).

If I do die and find that I'm mistaken and there is indeed a God, then I'll be very keen to know why I've been on the Cosmic black-list!

And since the jokes are helping lighten my the mood, here's one for good measure: -

A Jehovah's Witness dies and finds himself in heaven.
The trumpets are blaring and light shining and he sees a pair of massive pearly gates.
When he goes up and knocks on them, he hears, "Shhh, pretend we're not home!"

Disclaimer: Used to be JW, and I still luff many who are, even though I don't agree with them!

Claig, it's not innate, people are not born Christian or Muslim. Babies have no religion. They are taught it. Hence religion being largely geographical in nature.

Like the JW joke!

I always think they must have quite a lot of emotional courage, as they must get a lot of nasty things said to them.

"Claig, it's not innate, people are not born Christian or Muslim. Babies have no religion."

No their religion is not innate, but the spiritual meaning and purpose of their life is innate as it is of every single human being and animal.

but the spiritual meaning and purpose of their life is innate

What meaning?

That every life is precious and is for a reason. That we have a purpose, that there is meaning to our existence and we are not here just by chance.

but the spiritual meaning and purpose of their life is innate as it is of every single human being and animal

And your evidence for this is?

I am with the Gnostics in that I believe we are both spirit and matter. I think we have an eternal soul that will never die and that is part of God and I believe that is our life spark and we are materialised in material bodily form, but that eventually our body will die and disintegrate and turn to dust but our spirit and the energy that it represents will never die and will just find another form, whether material or eventually purely spiritual as we reunite with the great Oneness that is God.

I can't prove it, but I just believe it, and it is thought that brings me to it - thought based on my own thoughts and experience and the thoughts and experience of those far clever than me. But I coud be wrong, which is why I want to use my thought to gain "gnosis" or a deeper knowledge if anyone can convince me different. I agree with the Gnostics that wisdom and knowing comes through thought and Sophia (wisdom) and that is why we must always question and think and not just blindly accept what we are told.

As Plato said, the highest form of thought is philosophy which means love of sophia (love of wisdom), and Sophia is the gnostic Goddess whose desire to know the one true God led to the break in the universe that eventually created the Demiurge who created and trapped us on this earth and it is only through gnosis and sophia that we can be freed and reunite with the spiritual nature that lies within each one of us.

As the Bible says in Genesis, in the beginning was Logos - the word, thought.

We are thinking beings and through our thought and consciousness we can experience the divine of which we have in small part within each one of us.

As some Sufi masters say. god prefers the atheist to those who just believe without thought or without thinking, because at least the atheist has used thought to come to the conclusion that there is no God.

We are endowed with thought and wisdom and consciousness and we have to use these gifts to seek what is true and real and that is what philosophy is all about, and one way of really beginning to understand the divine is through thought or music or mathematics which are all languges of the divine.

And if anyone wants to find God, I would say that one step is to read philosophy, because in the beginning was Logos, and through Logos and pure thought we commune with the divine. In thought we are no longer in the realm of the body and of matter, but are transported into the infinite, endless realm of the spirit and the divine.

Sorry, it is years since I read the Bible and I have never read it through completely.

Evidence of reality won't change from person to person, it will be independent. Just because someone has reasoned it doesn't mean they have applied a logical sequence to arrive at their conclusion.

Personal experience is woefully bad as a source of evidence.

I recommend it - I'm just at the beginning of my second complete read. I'd start with th gospels and work forwards. , and after that go back to Gen. and do the Old Testament.

Evidence for what though? The only evidence I have that my husband loves me is personal experience. Actually, the only evidence I have of love of any kind is personal experience.

Some people can see futher than others, have greater perception than others, can read the moods of people better than othes, have greater intuition than others.

A trained mathematician can solve Schrodinger's equation and a child can't. Consciousness is at different stages for different people and therefore reality differs between people depending on their ability to perceive and comprehend what is real.

Some animals can sense a volcano or tornado before a human can because they have different qualities of perception and can see or hear beyond the human spectrum. Some people also have greater capabilities to perceive reality than others, and some people have a greater gift to perceive the spirit dimension than others.

The mathematician has been trained to solve the equation. Each mathematician will use the same process to find the same solution. The baby hasn't developed the physically necessary brain size/patterns to do the math. There's nothing woo about it. Where is your evidence for this gift some people have?