to think that pub garden after 8.30 should be adults only?

[lessonsintightropes]

Prepared for a flaming here and am really not sure what the right answer is, so would be keen to know what others think.

There's a naice pub about 10 mins walk from us. It is v kid friendly which is lovely. There's a nice garden at the back which includes a little playground for the kids. I was in there with DH this evening having dinner. At about 8.30 we'd finished eating - we were sat at the table nearest the adventure playground. There were a lot of kids when we arrived at 7 but had pretty much gone by 8.30, but there were a few - five, say? - all between 3 and 6. They were fairly unsupervised - parents and friends sat drinking about 20 yards away at the other side of the garden, kids were running around, scooting on scooters, and bumping into tables where other people were eating.

I wanted to have a cigarette after dinner and looked around, saw the kids were a little way from us, and lit up, blowing it away from where the kids were playing. One mum lurched over to our table (she really was a bit pissed) and told me off for smoking near her kids. Several people at the table she was sitting at were smoking.

AIBU to think that a) she shouldn't have been that drunk in charge of DCs, b) that they should have been better supervised anyway and c) shouldn't they have been in bed at that point?

I totally get that it's a kid-friendly pub - especially during the day throughout the week - but AIBU to have a fag after dinner in an open garden?

(Hoisting up judgy pants. No DCs myself yet so really don't know if IWBU).

[differentnameforthis]

And she certainly shouldn't be in that state, if she has children to care for And how do you know that she wasn't with their dad who was only drinking a couple? Or a friend who agreed to look after kids/only have a couple?

Judge judge judge!

[FreudiansSlipper]

good idea

inside could be wh

[FreudiansSlipper]

good idea

children could run riot inside while being watched by the staff while parents relax outside perfect solution

[Jan49]

I think the problem with the children was that they were behaving badly and not supervised, not the fact that they were there. It's not up to you to decide what time kids should go home or go to bed and 8.30pm wasn't late.

Legally you are entitled to smoke outside. Obviously you are risking your own health and those who are around you by smoking. Not just children. The woman was wrong for telling you off and weird since apparently people were smoking at her table. I think if you are going to smoke you should go on doing what you were doing. I don't think YWBU in those particular circumstances.

[5Foot5]

And how do you know that she wasn't with their dad who was only drinking a couple? Or a friend who agreed to look after kids/only have a couple?

Well if that was the case the dad or friend were doing a piss-poor job of supervision if they were sitting so far away and letting the children run riot and annoy other people.

I think in summer it is reasonable for the children to be there as late as 8.30 providing they are being properly supervised and not annoying other people. Actually, forget the time I think that should apply at any time of day.

And regardless of how much or how little she had drunk the mother was being ridiculous for taking her DC in to that environment and then expecting people not to be smoking.

[Wheresmycaffeinedrip]

I don't think it matters who else they were or were not with to be honest. I don't think children should ever see their parents plastered its not a good example to set. I realise that I'm probably in the minority and bloody boring according to you lot but I just couldn't allow myself to be in that state whilst around my children. Evev if their dad Was around snd sober. However as a pp said. 8.30 in a pub/beer garden ? If you stay thre that long with kids then you will have to deal with smoking outside, other drunk people even if parents are sober and bad language/inappropriate conversations.

However I couldn't bring myself to do that with kids around but that's probably just me rather than what should be expected.

[Cravey]

I run a bar and we aren't allowed kids in after seven they can however go in the garden if supervised. I think Yanbu but if adults are going out to smoke then it's the parents who should be moving the kids. Not your problem so to speak. We've had loads of kids in with mums and dads this week must be the warm weather.

[ThePrinceofCambridge]

she should not have come over to tell you not to smoke, its she who has brought her dc's to a pub garden, it sounds like she was drunk and spoiling for a fight.

HOwever I have no probs with dc on very hot summer nights enjoying running round in a pub garden.

I have many memories of it myself, and did me no harm.

in hot summers children play and run round till hearts delight on the continent.

[CorrStagnitto]

right now as i sit at my desk wheezing because my asthma is so bad, i would much rather have children running round bumping into my table in a pub garden than be sitting next to a smoker, horses for courses i guess

[YouTheCat]

Well don't sit next to a smoker then.

[CorrStagnitto]

err the point is you cant choose you you meet in a pub garden, dont sit outside pubs in the summer at night if you dont like kids running round

[Onesleeptillwembley]

youthe cat I'm guessing you don't work. As anyone with common sense would know, most people in offices don't have a choice where to sit.

[YouTheCat]

Pubs aren't for kids. They are allowed as a courtesy (and to make money from their parents).

Asthma is bloody awful and I sympathise, but you do have the option of moving away or going inside. I'm quite sure you used to find smoky pubs really nasty before the ban, but you can't have it all ways.

[YouTheCat]

Um which office is it where you can smoke? Not in this country and yes, I do work.

How patronising!

[CorrStagnitto]

'pubs arent for kids' - only in your opinion , most are very family friendly these days and that is the reason they have gardens with play areas, i dont see many adults wanting to use the swings and slides at these places do you?

[YouTheCat]

My point is they are primarily for adults, as they are the paying customers. Allowing kids in is purely about making money. I suppose the demographic has changed. Pubs are no longer filled with chain smoking blokes, supping bitter and talking about football/pigeons etc.

Going to a family pub is a nice treat for kids but some people take the piss and kids get very bored after a while, even if there is a playground area.

[Cravey]

I disagree with the pubs aren't for kids thing. We have a garden full of stuff for kids and IMO it allows a lot of parents who can't get care etc to have a meal or few drinks out with the kids.

[Cravey]

Oh and believe me we don't make a huge amount of money from say a family of four.

[CorrStagnitto]

the op is complaining about children running around enjoying themselves(offence to some? maybe) while she is being equally offensive to some others by smoking (granted its a public place and people can move away) but you can?t go around moaning about things that offend you while your doing something that is probably offending someone else at the same time, hypocritical? very much so imho

you cant control what people do in public spaces, if you don?t like it then don?t go to them

[CorrStagnitto]

of course the times have changed, and for the better i say, why should pubs only be filled with chain smoking blokes, supping bitter and talking about football/pigeons? your attitude is rather dated

they are much nicer place to be these days with families enjoying themselves

and i think that smoking shelters should be implemented in these places (preferable at the other side of the car park away from outisde eating areas) for those that want to smoke, like they have in work places nowadays

[YouTheCat]

I didn't say I preferred it! I used to work in pubs like that though, many years ago.

I don't tend to go to pubs with playareas tbh as my kids are adults now.

[LtEveDallas]

Non smokers didn't want smokers inside, so the law changed and smokers now stay outside.

But now non smokers don't want the smokers outside either?

Well until the law changes again, and smoking is either completely banned, or banned in all public places, then it's up to the non-smokers to move themselves away from the 'only' place that smokers are allowed to be.

There are more places where non-smokers are welcome than there are smoking areas. Leave the smokers alone to enjoy what space they have left, or stop complaining. You have the choice, smokers don't.

[maninawomansworld]

Sorry but if you sit near an adventure playground then what do you expect... no sympathy here.

There are loads of 'adult' pubs around that don't have adventure playgrounds and the like where you are less likely to get children if that's what you want.

[Molinko]

OP I don't think YABU, not at all. A pub in the evening is for adults, I would never keep my kids in a pub after say 7pm out of respect for the other pub patrons, summer holidays or not. I don't really see what you smoking has got to with it honestly.

I love a family-friendly pub and am grateful when we find one, but we would only ever visit in the daytime. I also wouldn't inflict my kids on evening (after 7pm) diners at a restaurant. If you can't afford a babysitter for an evening out then maybe you should drink/eat in the comfort of your own home or garden.