to think that pub garden after 8.30 should be adults only?

[lessonsintightropes]

Prepared for a flaming here and am really not sure what the right answer is, so would be keen to know what others think.

There's a naice pub about 10 mins walk from us. It is v kid friendly which is lovely. There's a nice garden at the back which includes a little playground for the kids. I was in there with DH this evening having dinner. At about 8.30 we'd finished eating - we were sat at the table nearest the adventure playground. There were a lot of kids when we arrived at 7 but had pretty much gone by 8.30, but there were a few - five, say? - all between 3 and 6. They were fairly unsupervised - parents and friends sat drinking about 20 yards away at the other side of the garden, kids were running around, scooting on scooters, and bumping into tables where other people were eating.

I wanted to have a cigarette after dinner and looked around, saw the kids were a little way from us, and lit up, blowing it away from where the kids were playing. One mum lurched over to our table (she really was a bit pissed) and told me off for smoking near her kids. Several people at the table she was sitting at were smoking.

AIBU to think that a) she shouldn't have been that drunk in charge of DCs, b) that they should have been better supervised anyway and c) shouldn't they have been in bed at that point?

I totally get that it's a kid-friendly pub - especially during the day throughout the week - but AIBU to have a fag after dinner in an open garden?

(Hoisting up judgy pants. No DCs myself yet so really don't know if IWBU).

[VerySmallSqueak]

ThePowerof3 I didn't know we had ascertained for sure that she was in charge of the children.

[Boomba]

this is a nothing thread huh?

a woman asked you to stop smoking. you ignored her

[ThePowerof3]

If the mum was drunk then a law was actually being broken.

[heronsfly]

Yadnbu, its a pub, not a playground !

[VerySmallSqueak]

We haven't got enough rules then?

If people want their kids running around in the pub garden till closing time it's up to them,not me.

If people want to have a fag in the fresh air it's up to them not me.

No one is breaking any laws here so live and let live,eh?

[pianodoodle]

YANBU you can smoke outside in the garden whether people like it or not.

YABU re: kids in the garden even though the badly behaved bit would annoy me too.

[merrymouse]

Silly TO expect

[merrymouse]

I hate smoking, but YANBU. I don't think it's wrong for children to be in a pub garden at this time, but its a bit silly not expect people to refrain from smoking because of their presence given that its 8.30, outside a pub.

On the other hand it sounds as though her logic was impaired by drink.

[nkf]

Bumping into tables is not on though is it? Parents should keep a better eye on their children. Apart from that, it's okay.

[LtEveDallas]

The 'choice' in my last post was regards to sitting inside or outside. Non-smokers can do either, so they have a choice. Smokers can only smoke outside, so they DON'T have a choice.

[Jan49]

Leave the smokers alone to enjoy what space they have left, or stop complaining. You have the choice, smokers don't.

LtEveDallas, you honestly can't think of any other choice the smokers have? Like maybe NOT smoking?

[Molinko]

OP I don't think YABU, not at all. A pub in the evening is for adults, I would never keep my kids in a pub after say 7pm out of respect for the other pub patrons, summer holidays or not. I don't really see what you smoking has got to with it honestly.

I love a family-friendly pub and am grateful when we find one, but we would only ever visit in the daytime. I also wouldn't inflict my kids on evening (after 7pm) diners at a restaurant. If you can't afford a babysitter for an evening out then maybe you should drink/eat in the comfort of your own home or garden.

[maninawomansworld]

Sorry but if you sit near an adventure playground then what do you expect... no sympathy here.

There are loads of 'adult' pubs around that don't have adventure playgrounds and the like where you are less likely to get children if that's what you want.

[LtEveDallas]

Non smokers didn't want smokers inside, so the law changed and smokers now stay outside.

But now non smokers don't want the smokers outside either?

Well until the law changes again, and smoking is either completely banned, or banned in all public places, then it's up to the non-smokers to move themselves away from the 'only' place that smokers are allowed to be.

There are more places where non-smokers are welcome than there are smoking areas. Leave the smokers alone to enjoy what space they have left, or stop complaining. You have the choice, smokers don't.

[YouTheCat]

I didn't say I preferred it! I used to work in pubs like that though, many years ago.

I don't tend to go to pubs with playareas tbh as my kids are adults now.

[CorrStagnitto]

of course the times have changed, and for the better i say, why should pubs only be filled with chain smoking blokes, supping bitter and talking about football/pigeons? your attitude is rather dated

they are much nicer place to be these days with families enjoying themselves

and i think that smoking shelters should be implemented in these places (preferable at the other side of the car park away from outisde eating areas) for those that want to smoke, like they have in work places nowadays

[CorrStagnitto]

the op is complaining about children running around enjoying themselves(offence to some? maybe) while she is being equally offensive to some others by smoking (granted its a public place and people can move away) but you can?t go around moaning about things that offend you while your doing something that is probably offending someone else at the same time, hypocritical? very much so imho

you cant control what people do in public spaces, if you don?t like it then don?t go to them

[Cravey]

Oh and believe me we don't make a huge amount of money from say a family of four.

[Cravey]

I disagree with the pubs aren't for kids thing. We have a garden full of stuff for kids and IMO it allows a lot of parents who can't get care etc to have a meal or few drinks out with the kids.

[YouTheCat]

My point is they are primarily for adults, as they are the paying customers. Allowing kids in is purely about making money. I suppose the demographic has changed. Pubs are no longer filled with chain smoking blokes, supping bitter and talking about football/pigeons etc.

Going to a family pub is a nice treat for kids but some people take the piss and kids get very bored after a while, even if there is a playground area.

[CorrStagnitto]

'pubs arent for kids' - only in your opinion , most are very family friendly these days and that is the reason they have gardens with play areas, i dont see many adults wanting to use the swings and slides at these places do you?

[YouTheCat]

Um which office is it where you can smoke? Not in this country and yes, I do work.

How patronising!

[YouTheCat]

Pubs aren't for kids. They are allowed as a courtesy (and to make money from their parents).

Asthma is bloody awful and I sympathise, but you do have the option of moving away or going inside. I'm quite sure you used to find smoky pubs really nasty before the ban, but you can't have it all ways.

[Onesleeptillwembley]

youthe cat I'm guessing you don't work. As anyone with common sense would know, most people in offices don't have a choice where to sit.

[CorrStagnitto]

err the point is you cant choose you you meet in a pub garden, dont sit outside pubs in the summer at night if you dont like kids running round