TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 2

[TidyDancer]

New thread. :)

Ah, confetti.co.uk

Where nethuns go to get married.

What a hilarious forum!

Am collapsed in giggles at the loons on Confetti.

Here's one:
"No kids. I'm even putting it on my invites. They are annoying, make parents have to leave early, cry when they're grumpy and in my purely selfish opinion, I feel they take a lot of the guests attention for looking cute. The attention should be on the bride and groom, not some distant relative's kid in a pink dress. Although I will have a 9 and 6 year old attending (totally contradicting my beliefs) because I have been regularly involved with them since they were born and are friends of mine, not just my friend's kids."

Apologies if someone has already posted this link (it's a very long couple of threads now so I may have missed it) but maybe you could include this in your email to your friend.

The Top 5 Etiquette Mistakes in Save-the-Date Cards

This is number one on the list:

1. Sending them out immediately upon your engagement. You're all excited about the wedding plans, you booked the place, you made a guest list that includes everyone you've ever known. But as time goes on, all of those deposits for the band, the videographer, the photographer, the florist, and more add up. You could find yourself in a money crunch that requires you to cut down your guest list...but you can't if you sent everyone a Save-the-date. This is the #1 save-the-date mistake, because you must invite these people to the wedding now. It's bad form to have them reserve a block on their calendars, not take their annual vacation, not register their kids for camp and so on...and then they don't get invited to the wedding. Major rifts happen in families over this one, so take your time, make sure you know the strength of your budget, and send them out when you're sure you can invite everyone on your list.

Perhaps you could include this line (or one of the similar ones) in your reply to her. Ff she reads what a faux-pas she has made in black and white from another source she might get some inkling as to why you are so put out.

Dear Glue,

To be crystal clear, I will not decorate the venue for your wedding.

Yours Tidy (sylvanian representative on Earth)

I've marginally edited mine :

Gluezillia, (forget the 'Dear ....)

Please desist from pestering me with requests to decorate your wedding venue when you have actually told me we are now disinvited. Do you realise how rude you are?

Tidy

Where are you, TidyDancer?! I need to know what you've sent by why of reply?!

I would go with something like:

Dear Mad-as-a-Box-of-Frogs Gluezilla,

I feel you are rather missing the point. Whilst I could understand being left out of your wedding due to numbers or budget, it is spectacularly rude of you to have sent me a Save The Date card and then not invited me. Contrary to your interpretation of their function, STDs are intended to forewarn invitees of the planned date before such details as the venue have been finalised. You have upset many people with this particular faux pas.

To add insult to injury, you have then asked me give up my time and arrange childcare so that I can help you decorate your venue in order to surprise your chosen guests; those whom you felt were worthy of an invitation. Despite my initial refusal, you have pressed the matter, clearly demonstrating your total lack of manners and etiquette.

To clarify, I will not help with any wedding preparation. Neither will I tolerate any further discussion from you on the matter. I wish you well with the wedding and your marriage, but I do not wish to hear from you again.

Regards
TidyDancer

I would go with what IfCatsHadThumbs said, but with a minor alteration at the end:

Dear Gluezilla

I think we must have been having two different conversations as our perceptions of this are wildly different. You said you are sorry myself and DP can't come, we CAN come (we saved the date after all) but we are not invited. There is a difference between the two.
I genuinely hope you have a lovely day but I'm afraid I would be incredibly resentful doing all that work for your wedding knowing that you don't consider me a good enough friend to attend your wedding, but good enough to work for nothing on the big day to make it special for you - on my planet they call that using, not friendship

Best wishes
Tidy Dancer

Delurking to say I have spent hours reading both threads in disbelief! You lot are hilarious and very imaginative! Of course it would be great fun to say you are going to help and then not turn up, but I am sure you are a much nicer person than that Tidy and also she will then make you look like the bad guy for letting her down on her special day.

SarahandFuck's response is great, go with something along those lines, although sadly I don't think she will get it, on your original posting you said she had been talking about the wedding since they got engaged, so she is obviously too far down the Bridezilla road!

Must check out the Confetti forum - sounds mental! When will people realise that a marriage is not about one day?!

Hurry up with a response Tidy - I am supposed to be working and can't concentrate!

Shamelessly marking place

That is a good reply Shedwood!

Another one waiting for a response!

Tweed Your idea is genius! (Please go for it Tidy)

"On Tuesday I will be doing my washing up. Please save the Date and be ready to come round and help me. Love Nina"

I see your washing up STD and raise you a Plucking My Eyebrows.

Look, I could bullet-point all the ways your request is completely inappropriate but A) you have more important things to be thinking about right now and B) although I'm thoroughly taken aback by this I have no desire to further embarrass you. I'm quite sure, once the excitement of the wedding has died down, you'll see that your request was very ill-advised. No, I won't be available to help decorate but hope your day is wonderful.

I agree this is great.

For the purpose of providing us all with ongoing entertainment, I do think the text should include a question to provoke an answer.

Thanks :)

Here's my submission. It's not funny but I think it is generally agreed she needs it spelling out...

Dear F,

It is acceptable to not invite people to your wedding. However, to send "Save The Date" cards and then not follow through with an invitation is both unacceptable and rude. You do not have to take just my word for it, research the etiquette a little and I am sure you will find this is the case. Here I can even get you started

Maybe you will then understand why you have given offence to all of your "B List" friends such as myself.

However, in my case you have further compounded your faux pas by assuming that I will be happy to give up a day of my time, for nothing, in order to decorate your venue for the benefit of you and your "A list" friends.

If you still cannot see why my answer is no then I suggest you show this email to someone close to you who has not yet lost all sense of proportion in the run up to the wedding and ask them to explain.

Regards

TidyDancer.

Dear Gluezilla

I think we must have been having two different conversations as our perceptions of this are wildly different. You said you are sorry myself and DP can't come, we CAN come (we saved the date after all) but we are not invited. There is a difference between the two.
I genuinely hope you have a lovely day but I'm afraid I would be incredibly resentful doing all that work for your wedding knowing that you don't consider me a good enough friend to attend your wedding, but good enough to work for nothing on the big day to make it special for you - on my planet they call that using, not friendship

Best wishes
Tidy Dancer

THIS

I like:

"I do think it would be more appropriate to get someone who is welcome at your wedding to assist."

Link to etiquette

Brutally short and to the point

No, I dont want to decorate your wedding venue. I think its a bit cheeky of you to even ask me to be honest. Lets just leave this now as its getting embarrasing. Bye!

I like it, Meryl.

Instead of posting an entry just to mark your place, did you know you can watch a thread? That'll leave more space for poems & wicked thoughts about Sylvanians

I'd let it go now and just say, 'no, I will not do the wedding decorations. Have a lovely day'

And then Bridezilla really can't complain later to mutual friends without sounding unhinged herself.

Tidy, where are you???

I agree with MerylStrop. Keep it short and sweet, but to the point.