To think that if people didn't pay their kids so much attention...

[nenevomito]

Children would be more independent and adventurous, and, more to the point, that the evil tortured genius to bland boring average child ratio would benefit greatly.

I mean, come on! How is your child ever going to get to where they can buy their own volcanic island staffed with pliant henchmen if you spend your whole days baking fucking cupcakes with them?

Never. They will grow up, buy a semi, drive a Prius and worry about the food miles generated by their cucumbers.

Seriously, just gnore them for a few hours and do your bit to push them to wards evil greatness.

At the very least bake EVIL cupcakes.

Due to potty training my DP often comes home to a pantless toddler

Think I wrote this on another thread, but anyway...

Same DD (3 1/2) came in to wake me up the other morning and said "come on mummy, let's have some breakfast." Having been up half the night with the baby, I was unable to open my eyes, so she gave up and disappeared.

Next thing I know, it's half an hour later and she's out in the back garden jumping on the trampoline (which we still haven't put the safety net around) and munching on an apple.

I poke my head out and apologise for being so fast asleep, and she says, "it's alright mummy, I forgive you, it was only an accident."

Sorry OP couldn't disagree with you more.

DS1 and DS2 were as your post describes, dd is quite demanding of our time, and we do almost everything together. She is far more independent than they were at her age.
She is totally trustworthy to manage by herself.

Love this thread.

The next book I have lined up to read is "The Idle Parent".

I suspect it will be somewhat preaching to the choir. :o

I left dd to make cakes by herself the other day.
She left out the butter and the sugar.

It didn't matter, she said, she could put loads of butter icing on and that would make up for it

I am breeding resilient children.

Unfortunately she got the instructions muddled up for the glace and butter icing and it ended up looking like baby sick, with lumps of butter in it.

Resilient children who make disgusting cakes.

DP is currently tidying under the bed, with only his legs sticking out. DD (18 months) is currently pantless and appears to be trying to decide what crayon to colour DPs legs in with.

I don't think they need any input from me.

One of mine is away camping with the scouts. The other has gone to a birthday party. He won't be back FOR HOURS.

I've gone back to bed with a boxset, chocolate and coffee.

This is what decadence means these days.

Three year old has caught a beetle in a jar and is feeding it hula hoops.

My neighbour lets her dcs just get on with things and yesterday her 11 year old cut my grass for £5. I also saw him ( and his friend) doing several other gardens in the street. I bet they made more than i did yesterday!

i follow benign neglect too. I just wish my two would allow me to benignly neglect them
I think if I hear "mummy, I want....." one more time I will go totally postal, but in a non fatal way.

at headfirst's lad sitting there stapled to the tablecloth wondering what to do

sod the kids, i am benignly neglecting myself to see what i get up to
cornetto and a book in bed are good..just not at the same time or the cornetto lands on the pillow...

SDTG wins typo of the day!!

You're suppose to interact with your children?

This thread is amazing

4yo DS just told me he hates his hair. Because I never brush it for him.

Best start saving for that Prius now, son, cos I sure as hell won't be buying it for you!

Pmsl at stapling themselves to the table!

And yes yes to benign neglect, mine appeared in the garden where i was sat mnetting and having a sneaky fag with toasted bagels, they had made themselves lunch, including stuff for the little two as i had forgotten.

Nakedness is also the norm in this house, poor postie/delivery men often knock only for ds4 and dd to open the door naked.

I have been benign neglecting like a pro for the last two days.
There was much nakedness of children yesterday (100%), but they did dress for their evening meal .
Today only 50% are pantless.

They have glittered all of DS's toys,( and DS in the process!) and dressed all their teddies as fairies. It is like a fairy wonderland in DS's bedroom.

Mine are off on Brownie/ Guide camp next week. Start 'em young... 2.7 and 15wks, they'll be the only boys on the site amongst a county of girls!

I've got DS1 some cat bells to attach to the reins harness so I stand a better chance of hearing him as he explores while I cater for 16. I tried it out earlier and he was impressed- he took himself for a walk around the garden holding his own lead! (Yes it is a dog lead, purchased for him in his epic crawling in public days as the reins were too short). I used to like taking him for a walk in the park on his lead. He's free-range these days.

Muppet clearly needs to invest in a cat to complete her ds's Bond villain look...

I prefer to play cupcake roulette with laxatives... Or rather, inflict it on other people mwahaha

Am making notes for next year, this thread is hilarious!

Mrsmook i think i love you!! I am at the idea of him taking himself for a walk in the garden with a dog lead and jangling his bells!!

i love this thread, it has made me feel so much better about my own parenting skills today

This thread is fab

MrsMook I think we might have been separated at birth, my DS went to his first scout camp at nine weeks and also takes himself for a walk holding onto his harness. And I've been known to deliberately fasten bells/something noisy to him so I know where he is my family were torn between being amused and throwing them out of the window when I tied bells to his feet on Christmas morning and sent him round the house

"SDTG wins typo of the day!!". Yay!! Is there a prize, Tee?

Your prize could be a pair of willies.

Oh. Not chocolate? A pair of chocolate willies would be great - I could watch dh blanch when I sink my teeth into them!