To think that if people didn't pay their kids so much attention...

[nenevomito]

Children would be more independent and adventurous, and, more to the point, that the evil tortured genius to bland boring average child ratio would benefit greatly.

I mean, come on! How is your child ever going to get to where they can buy their own volcanic island staffed with pliant henchmen if you spend your whole days baking fucking cupcakes with them?

Never. They will grow up, buy a semi, drive a Prius and worry about the food miles generated by their cucumbers.

Seriously, just gnore them for a few hours and do your bit to push them to wards evil greatness.

At the very least bake EVIL cupcakes.

Arghhh - fuck fuck fuck - damn iPad autocorrect - clad only in WELLIES!!

Oh god, MIL fusses around DS constantly. He's an independent little thing, happy playing away on his own, but she's constantly trying to get him to do things with her when you can see he doesn't want to. Drives me nuts!

thetrackisback I love your parenting style. brilliantjust don't have more than 7 or it'll be a long wait for attention!!

Define boring. One woman's boring is another's fascinating. Jeremy Clarkson wouldn't be seen dead in a Prius but is one of the most boring men on the planet, and the worst kind who thinks they are actually really fascinating.

But yes I agree, it's counterproductive to give kids too much attention. I don't so much as ignore mine though but if they are getting on with something, enjoying it and not doing something naughty then I let them get on with it (Dr Spock advice anyway I think). I don't always plan activities to do either. A mixture of structure and lack of structure.

I've been ignoring them for years and now they are teenagers they ignore me

I quite like playing. But I play like a kid, eg I argue over who gets to be batman, and I never let DS win at frustration. He is good at playing alone, but its not too much fun playing out alone. He won't knock for the next door kids. Although he does spend quite a bit of time spying on them from behind the shed, so maybe is growing evil spy tendencies....

DS gets to be Peter Pantsless at least once a day - they come off as soon as we get in.

I let him get on with things but DH is a bit pfb and tends to follow him about and interfere with him playing. I'm in the process of training him to leave DS alone.

May have taken it too far though - DS put his hat on, picked up his toy suitcase and waved goodbye to me then made off to the front door. Leaving home at 21 months may be a tad early...

DS (4) and I just had a great conversation about dinner. Imagine the following all said in the same lethargic tone.

DS, what should we have for tea?
Um... chocolate cereal?
Shall we just get fish and chips?
Ugh... can you get it delivered?

I ignored mine this morning only to find she has drawn all over her legs as "a tattoo like daddy". This is turning into a regular occurence, she just smiled and said "it's ok mummy, I'll put trousers on to cover it up when we go out", so that's what we did

Dinner, however, doesn't do so well with benign neglect. Burnt to a cinder :(

babybythesea one of mine favours the wellies and stickers on tummy combo too! The supermarket delivery man was very confused by this ensemble this week

DS (20m) loves climbing into DH's big, black leather computer chair while it's facing the other way, arranging himself with cushions, and spinning around to face you. Then he just stares and smirks. Not sure if he's going for evil genius or mastermind...

Ahhhh this thread is very comfortable!

It doesn't youthecat I was being unhelpfully (and unpopularly) sardonic.

But neither is making cupcakes or being attentive synonymous with being unable to let your kids have some self detmination and get messy/ Grubby / dizzy with fun.

One of those mothers who always organised every minute of her childrens' lives once said to me "You are SOOOOO lucky to have children who don't need intellectual stimulation like mine do"

The fact that she had never taught hers how to be bored had completely escaped her.

Yep my DD had 'free rein' with no nappy on either. Only problem was she took herself off and pooed in my Crocs!

timidviper

My neighbours children sport the fully naked look most of the time. They are German - think this may contribute to the body freedom (or is that a bad naughty generalisation?). My own DD was a bit precious about clothes, but was brought up under a regime of benign neglect. She played out like someone from the '70s from a very early age.

Gawd I'm glad I found this thread.

Dd aged 9 has been out today. Playing with her friends.WWithout a grown up to supervise. For the first time ever.

I have been traumatised thinking I am a bad mother. So much so I baked a fecking banana loaf thing in the hope of her seeing me with the baking stuff out would tempt her to stay in with me and the dog.

It didn't. Her and her mates just ate half of it walking up the street to go call for my friends dd who is also not usu

I try to ignore them/hide from them as much as I can but they always find me

forgot

I too am a benign neglect parent. Except I recently discovered it has a name. Swedish forest school parenting.

Ha!

So glad to discover that we are not the only household where pants are overrated.

loving the baking of banana bread only for it to be eaten on the way out

Key times for demanding attention.

Baby: Just as you've got in the shower.
Toddler: When you are on the loo.

Pre-School: When you're trying to drain a pan of spaghetti.
School Age: As soon as your bottom hits any form of seat whatsoever.
Teenagers: When they need a lift, preferably when you were hoping to settle down and watch some TV.

So long as you plan for those times you can ignore them. TruFact.

SDTG - fabulous! Am really looking forward to joining a gym with mine now.

Hahaha! Brilliant.

I must say I think your OP is inspired and it has made me feel much less guilty for ignoring my child quite so much. It is important for his evil development, see.

oh why cant i ignore my children i really want too. what am i doing wrong? they (aged 5 and 2) constantly want me to play with them, cuddle them, read stories, its knackering me out!