Fake Vegetarian MIL. AIBU?

[Mixxy]

MIL is an animal lover (lots of people are). She is self-righteous in lots of ways, what annoys me most recently is
her assertion that she is a vegetarian. She eats meat 6 times a week. Not fish mind you, meat. (I'm not trying to touch the pescetarian issue).

When you find her eating meat at meal times, she says, "oh I've had to eat meat today because of doctors orders". Fine-she's 80. But why call yourself a vegetarian?

Anyway, DH got a fantastic career oppertunity. To celebrate, I'm throwing a dinner party for a few close friends at our place. DH asked if his parents could come as his mother had worked in the same industry as him. I agreed.

Anyway, MIL rang me to let her know the time to arrive this
Saturday. She asked if I knew what I was cooking. I told her it was 4 courses with the main being Cornish Hens. She then asked what thw vegetarian options would be. I told her none. She got very indignant and cried, "but you know I'm a vegetarian'.

Nobody else coming is (8 others) a vegetarian. My BIL isa vegetarian and I accommodate when I cook for him, because he is the type of vegetarian that DOES NOT EAT MEAT OF ANY KIND. I feel annoyed that I now have to make 2 seperate courses to accomodate her fake vegetarianism.

AIBU to want to call her a fake, self-centered, drama queen?

Yes, her dish is veg and non-hen.

Flexitarian... Why would you need a label for what everyone else does as a matter of course?

A flexitarian is generally used to describe someone who claims to be vegetarian but still eats meat. Is that what everyone else does as a matter of course?

Wear purple
Run stick along railings
Learn to spit
Pretend to be vegetarian.

One day...

Re flexitarian. No I don't think it's what everyone does as a matter of course.

At work I suggested going to a very nice vegetarian restuarant for a work celebration do. Almost everyone vetoed it. I was suprised so many wouldn't even entertain an idea of a dinner without meat.

And I don't think it's just someone claiming to be a vegetarian. You do have to live a lifestyle that includes eating a lot of vegetarian meals. But you aren't 100% vegetarian. Other than my DH, I also know a few who would fit that label. A few would eat meat so they aren't difficult in social situations. (For example when eating at friend's places, or eating out in places where there are no veggie options). One would eat gelatine, anchovies, meat based stock if they couldn't see it. I think it just refers to a more flexible approach to vegetarianism.

She's 80. cook her summat veggie amd if she turns round tomorrow and demands to be called Jeff cos she's always wanted to be a boy just roll with it!

A "flexible approach to vegetarianism" that involves eating meat isn't vegetarianism! It's that attitude of 'I'd quite like to be veggie but I like X too much to give it up / it's too much hassle to check whether it's got Y and Z in it" which makes it harder for true veggies to be taken seriously or which results in a so-called vegetarian option not being truly veggie because flexitarians have confused the issue.

OP, do update us after your dinner party!

She sounds very contrary. In which case, smilingly giving her a veggie meal with no hint of annoyance will spike her guns more effectively than anything else. She may well be quite cross you've taken it in your stride.

I'm vegetarian. I have an elderly relative who has high cholesterol and was told by a doctor not to eat meat, cheese or butter. She now claims not to eat meat. She said this once whilst eating a ham sandwich. I ignored it but if she'd claimed to be vegetarian she'd have got a piece of my mind on a plate. Which probably wouldn't have counted as a vegetarian meal.

OP, I think it's kind of you to provide a vegetarian meal for your MIL when she's clearly not vegetarian. I don't think I'd be preparing separate meals for her. You could offer her the same as anyone else and if she objects, point out the many meat meals she has and offer her the vegetarian parts of the meal. Show her up in front of the other visitors. Or just spare those poor Cornish hens and do vegetarian for all the guests.

I think mushroom stroganoff would be quite a good option... Its one that quite often gets dished out when people are not being very creative with the vegetarian option for dinners etc... Pretty easy to make too... And if she's eating that when you're having the hen and she's not a vegetarian she would feel hard done by!!!

SURELY this is your dh's problem?!?!?!?!

I have an irritating and inconsistent and disrespectful and inconsiderate MIL as well, so, sympathies.

I would get dh to do it and make sure there's plenty of side veg for if he can't be arsed.

Five her something veggie she will hate!

She is Jewish but eats Ham steaks?

Clearly she is missing the point there too!

I had a close friend who was a pretend vegetarian. She announced one evening that she hadn't eaten meat for over a year. I queried this as it was very obviously a tall tale as we had eaten at each other's homes many, many times. She said she hadn't announced it in case it made her children develop food disorders

I helpfully pointed out that I had seen her tucking into meaty meals on many recent occasions (in case she had forgotten). She said she had been pretending to eat the meal, in the same way that you do do when playing with a toddler. So miming the eating

From then on, she had to put up with vegetarian food being served to her whenever she was in company. Because nobody wanted her to go hungry. Until her GP apparently ordered her back on the meat, just for health reasons, you understand...

My grandma was very selective over what constituted meat. Gems such as

-Wafer thin ham isn't meat

-Try my salmon mousse, its more mousse than salmon!

Ham to her wasn't meat. Meat was great big dripping joints of roast beef & a Sunday chicken. She did once try to cook a vegetarian meal but didn't quite know what to do with pasta so boiled it until it was transparent & served it with roast potatoes, veg & beef gravy :)

My sis is vegan & that does require a lot of label reading when I cook for her :)

I'd make an extra meat portion just in case...my nan used to think chicken and wafer thin ham wasn't meat...

My MIL is exactly the same Mixxy. She tells us that she won't eat "The three meats"

Dh thinks she must mean Widgeon, brontosaurus and rattlesnake cos she eats every other bloody thing!

I will prepare her a veggie dish, which she will devour, then ask for some of the meat course "Just for a taste"

She's hilarious at a BBQ. She brings a veggie burger, (One) and then eats everything BUT the veggie burger.

What's it all about???

I remember the drunk driving thread!

Off to read p.3 & 4 now...

She's not even very good at being Jewish if she's tucking into ham!

I suggest you serve her lentil risotto. No seasoning, just lentils, rice and water...

"Kitten tears" - Oh, Mr Darcy, I am undone!

Do you really get specially imported Cornish hens in the US? That seems like a lot of trouble.

I'm going to miss the point of the thread too. A few months ago we had a pigeon stuck in our chimney. After two days trying to push the damn thing out with a broom handle, I called a chimney sweep. After a lot of effort he got it out.

My DMother that night... as she sat tucking into roast chicken said 'I am so glad it is out. I just hate to see any animal suffer'.

The asparagus and mush dish sounds YUM, OP!

I have a friend who is a sort of pretend meat-eater. As a child, she was veggie for years (because she bet her cousin 20p she couldn't do it for a week, not for any moral stance).

When we started uni, she decided to drop it and eat meat, fillet steak in restaurants paid for by my mum in particular. She never liked cooking with raw meat - she could just about handle chicken, sausages and mince, but that was it.

A few years later she announced that she was giving up red meat because it was "bad for you", but she'd still eat chicken and fish. Fine. She then came to my house and was served organic free-range chicken, from my dad's farm, and proceeded to pick at it and beg everyone else if they would swap their roast potatoes for it. A few weeks later my sister said "I'm going to cook chicken stir-fry, will you eat it?", and friend replied "oh yes, I'll just pick the chicken out". Um no you won't actually, I'm not wasting good chicken. I'll make something actually veggie.

She went to a barbecue, refused to eat the Linda Mccartney sausages specially bought for her and instead, ate the whole bowl of potato salad that was meant as a side for 15 people. She took the bowl to her seat so no one else could get near it. She justified this by saying that it was the only thing she could eat, which it wasn't. She hadn't brought anything that she would eat, either, you know, in the way that most people going to a barbecue take along a packet of sausages or something to contribute.

Can you tell this drives me mad?

kitten tears!!!

Ouch, my stomach actually hurts!!